


A Monster in a Mask

by Moonflower04



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Badass Rey, Drama, Escape, F/M, Family Drama, Fingering, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Kylo Ren Backstory, Kylo Ren Redemption, Mutual Pinning, Oral Sex, POV Kylo Ren, POV Rey (Star Wars), Rey Kenobi, Reylo-Freeform, Romance, Science Fiction, Sex, Slow Burn, Smut, Voice Kink, student teacher relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-04
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2018-05-18 03:31:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 28
Words: 85,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5896450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonflower04/pseuds/Moonflower04
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Kylo Ren abducted Rey on Takodana, he had solely been seeking the map to Luke. But once he felt Rey's connection to the Force, and learned of her ability to quell the war between the dark and light sides within him – he knew he would be seeking more than just the map from her. Hopefully, she can see more than a monster in him.  Spoilers from the Force Awakens. Rating may change. Rey/Kylo Ren</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Interrogation

It was quiet as Rey slowly crawled to consciousness after her forced slumber. An aching pain drummed in the confines of her skull and it wasn't abating even though she kept her eyes closed.

Everything was coming back to her in a hazy blur: Han Solo offering her a job, Finn leaving her at Maz's castle, that vision that had been thrust upon her when she'd touched that tantalizing lightsaber which had called to her. The events after that she recalled with an even fresher sense of clarity. Her confused and outraged escape into the woods, and the fight on Takodana – the fight where she'd first seen Kylo Ren in person. Rey had tried besting the Dark Lord back on Takodana, her mission had been to protect BB-8 and she had done just that, but things had not exactly gone as she had anticipated them. She had expected Kylo Ren to just kill her, like he killed anyone who defied him, but he obviously had something very different in mind for her.

Kylo had known she'd seen the map to Skywalker, and instead of going for BB-8, he had used the Force on her, freezing her and then bringing her to an unconscious state. Now she was a hostage, or more accurately she was a prisoner for Kylo Ren to interrogate as he saw fit.

She was trying not to shake with trepidation, soon Rey would have to open her eyes and face the reality around her, but she didn't feel ready. Since she'd left Jakku everything had been so overwhelming; she had never even been off that sandy planet she called home, until yesterday. And now she was in the hands of a powerful tyrant, and she had to remain strong. That's what she had to do here, keep herself and her emotions in check; she could not display her crushing fear.

Rey finally opened her eyes and directly in front of her sat Kylo Ren himself, his stony stature was trenchant.

"You're awake," Kylo noted. His voice was calm and brisk – it unnerved Rey. How long had Kylo been staring at her, she wondered. Was he trying to examine her for weakness or maybe plotting the best way to torture her.

"Where am I?" She demanded. "Where are the others?"

"You're my guest," he said humbly. "As for those murderers, traitors and thieves you call friends, you'll be relieved to hear – I have no idea where they are."

The whole situation made her uneasy, but his emotionless tone and robotic voice was what truly made her skin crawl. She didn't see the need for him to mask his voice, personally she thought the black helmet to mask his appearance was sufficient enough to scare any being.

Rey felt her eyes widen and small beads of sweat silently dripped down her face. She was terrified looking at his black soulless mask, it was devoid of all emotions and left her no hint of what her captor was thinking or intending for her.

There was only one thing Rey was certain of in this new environment, she was the prey and Kylo Ren was the predator. She knew for a fact that Ren had taken her for the map to Skywalker, but how he was getting the information was her true concern.

She tried to remain calm as Kylo stood up and towered over her. He was tall, taller than most men she had ever encountered on Jakku. The black cloak Kylo had worn in the forest had made him more intimidating. Here in the interrogation room without his cloak and saber he seemed more vulnerable and infinitesimally less daunting.

"You still want to kill me," he said softly. Rey wasn't certain whether he was trying to mock her or just making a subtle comment.

Instead Rey fired back an insult to level the playing field. "It happens when you are hunted by a monster in a mask," she retorted.

Her statement was met with silence, and the silence made Rey fidget. She tried to raise her head high and look haughty, she didn't want Kylo to think she was weak. To be honest, she was a little proud of herself for fighting back in her current situation.

Her pride was short lived when her captor did something very unexpected. Kylo slowly lifted his hands to his helmet – with a distinct hissing and one prudent sweep he removed his mask to unveil his true identity. He was no robot or alien as she suspected earlier. No, he was more relatable than she originally thought, which frightened her further. Kylo Ren was indeed human. He was younger than she expected, why he probably was only a few years older than her.

On Jakku there hadn't been many men that she had ever found attractive. The selection of men to admire in the first place had been limited, but Rey was certain that she had never before seen a face so handsome.

His features were chiseled to near perfection. His jaw was angled impeccably and his lips were a pale pink against his pale skin. His eyes were like pools of burnt umber which were chocked full of deep pain and uncertainty. Kylo's hair was a jet black that curled and flowed slightly above his shoulders. He didn't have any facial hair from what she could see –his face was very clean and clear. The Dark Lord took a few heavy steps toward her and with each step a new wave of terror roll off of her.

"Tell me about the droid," Kylo said his voice was smooth almost velvety in nature. It seemed like Kylo was trying to ease her fear, as if that was going to coax the answer out of her.

"He's a BB-8 unit with a selenium drive core–." That was when Kylo cut her off.

"He's carrying part of a navigational chart. I know you've seen the map. You, a scavenger, convinced the droid to show it to you." Rey was jolted from her nervous recollections of the droid. Kylo leaned closer to her, she could feel his hot breath tickling her ear. "You know I can take whatever I want." Rey chocked on a sob, as she pushed heated tears back; those very words were soaking into the back of her mind.

The sound of his real voice differed greatly from its synthetic counter part. His voice was cool and soft like the grass on Takodana, which added to his physical charm. Rey shook the crazy thought from her head, she could hardly believe of all things she was complimenting this monster. Why she even had to force herself not to blush and cry as he spoke. His words sent tremors through her body and she was afraid of what he meant.

Defiantly, she refused to make eye contact with him, even though he had intruded into her personal space.

The hot feeling of his breath against her ear faded, and Rey watched as Ren stepped in front of her. There was a wicked gleam in his eyes as he extended his hand toward her. Rey felt her stomach plunge from the intensity of his gaze.

That's when she had her first experience with torture. She cried out as her head throbbed, and her own brain was boiling in her skull. There was nothing she could do to relieve the agony, as she felt pressure surrounding her skull. Tears started to roll down her face involuntarily as she fought against his violation of her mind.

"You're so lonely. So afraid to leave. And at night you're desperate to sleep." He said softly, his tone carried with it a hidden note of understanding and compassion, something she would have never expected from a monster of his caliber.

He paused momentarily in his assault before he drove into her mind with an unrelenting force. Her head shot back in a flash of sheer pain; it was weaker than before but still strong. He was infiltrating her mind and Rey could feel him in the back of her brain, combing through her memories and thoughts. She fought back, angrily she pushed her fists against the metal chair and her restraints.

There was no way she would allow herself to fail, Finn and most of the Resistance was counting on her to remain strong and not divulge this information. Rey tried not to allow him one ounce of her memories, but he was too overpowering.

"And I see an ocean and there – I see an island." Kylo was still racking her brain for information, and that's when he got much closer to the map than she was comfortable with. She had seen a vision of an island when BB-8 had showed her the map, and she couldn't let Ren see anymore.

Rey pushed even harder, the pain in her skull ceased momentarily. She saw Kylo's face contort into an expression of frustrated focus.

"So much fear," he whispered gently. "You feel Han Solo is like the father you never had, how he would have disappointed you." The way he said that phrase, it sounded very personal, and carried with it an emotional, vengeful tone. Rey wanted to know what he meant by it – how did he know Han Solo like she did?

Without a moment to spare, Rey snapped back into the battle for her mind. Kylo was trying to break the resolve she had worked so hard to construct. She felt the threat of his attacks weaken and that was when she pushed toward his thoughts.

Rey could physically feel Kylo's fear flowing from him. He was afraid of not being powerful or respected by his master, Supreme Leader Snoke. He was terrified that he would never be as attuned with the Dark Side as Darth Vader had. Kylo was truly afraid that his power paled in comparison to Vader's – that he was too weak and Snoke would try to replace him.

Rey felt her discovery bubble up inside and before she could stop herself, she screamed it out.

"You're just afraid you'll never be as powerful as Vader," she shouted at the top of her lungs.

The moment those words left Rey's mouth she regretted them. At first she was certain he would kill her, just chop off her head for her disrespectful outburst; how could she have been as reckless as to insult her captor. She felt as if death was imminent, until she looked in Kylo's eyes, and what she saw shocked her.

His eyes were glassy and filled with pain, as if her discovery had wounded him beyond repair. They locked eyes for a moment, his eyes looked tired and beaten.

Rey bit her lip as she felt a wave of guilt wash over her. It was uncalled for, her feelings of guilt – not just a second before Kylo had been invading her memories for the map to Skywalker's location. Yet, she couldn't shake the truth that Kylo Ren, no matter how evil and sinister, was human.

He whipped around and forced her to stare at his back. Rey gulped when she witnessed his fists clench, quietly she prepared herself for a death blow. Instead, Rey watched as Kylo picked up his mask and stormed out of the room in unadulterated rage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, thank you for taking the time to read my first chapter, and I hope you enjoyed it. If you could leave a quick comment to relay your thoughts to me on how the first chapter went, that would be most appreciated. Next chapter should be posted on AO3 soon. If you like the story thus far there are more chapters available on Fanfiction I'm working on moving them here. Next chapter will be from Kylo Ren's perspective. Again, thank you.


	2. A Broken Resolve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Kylo Ren abducted Rey on Takodana, he had solely been seeking the map to Luke. But once he felt Rey's connection to the Force, and learned of her ability to quell the war between the dark and light sides within him – he knew he would be seeking more than just the map from her. Hopefully, she can see more than a monster in him. Rating may change. Rey/Kylo Ren

Kylo Ren stood outside the interrogation room clutching desperately onto the wall for support. Never before had something like that ever happened and he'd broken hundreds of people in that very room before. But no one had ever turned his own interrogating prowess against him. No one had ever invaded his thoughts or ever seen the inner workings of his mind. No one had ever witnessed his own fears. No one.

He had been training to achieve an unbreakable resolve – it had taken years of practice and skill to get this far. How far had he fallen to allow some novice, untrained scavenger to break his concentration? He would never live up to Darth Vader's legacy if he continued to be bested by a girl who was only testing her connection to the Force.

Maybe this grubby scavenger was right. At this rate he would never achieve the standard of his grandfather. He couldn't even drive out the Light Side on his own. Snoke already gave him reproachful looks, as if he was a failure. His connection to the Dark Side was slipping; it didn't matter how heartless he was – the Light Side still called.

 _No_ , he scolded himself. Kylo couldn't allow some insolent girl with a limited understanding of the Force to get inside his mind and make him doubt himself. He was strong, he knew he was. Snoke never would have chose Kylo as his apprentice if he wasn't powerful.

Kylo angrily smashed his fist directly into the wall right outside her interrogation room. The metal creaked and bowed under his punch. He was still disgusted by his weak focus, and how easily he'd been diverted from his task.

He had been distracted by her memories of his father. Maybe Snoke had been right, that his ties to his father were still holding him back, keeping him from fully achieving his connection to the Dark Side. Snoke had made it clear that ties to anyone would weaken him, and Kylo was afraid his master could sense the Light Side calling to him. But he had refused to believe Snoke, Kylo didn't see his family as a weakness; they were far away and he hardly thought of them anymore.

But how that scavenger girl – Rey, knew his father was what bemused him. His father had always steered clear of anywhere near the First Order, smugglers avoided political wars and altercations. How Rey had met Han Solo was still uncertain to him.

Just the thought of Rey considering Han Solo a father made Kylo's blood boil. He had seen some of her memories, it had been years since he'd seen his own father, and he couldn't lie, his missed how lighthearted his father was. Him and his father had been thick as thieves, when his father wasn't looking for the Millennium Falcon or working with his smuggler contacts. It seemed like so long ago, but it had been his father's idea to send him off to Luke's makeshift Jedi Academy. Han Solo had planted the seed in his mother's mind, and she had agreed to allow his uncle to train him. His father insisted that he needed to learn the things that only Luke could teach him. What had hurt most was his parents were so willing to send him away; he'd been difficult sometimes – when they had to move to a different New Republic camp – but he'd tried his best to acclimatize always. Maybe he'd let his frustration and anger bleed through too often.

Kylo tried not to let the past agitate him, so he cleared it from his mind. Again his mind wander to Rey, for there was an undeniable truth about Rey: When he was in the same room as her, he felt at peace. The Light Side had stopped whispering to him and the Dark Side did not scream like a banshee in his brain. For many months he had felt as if he was being torn in pieces, and the battle between light and dark that was currently being waged in his mind – he feared it would never cease.

He wanted nothing more than this fight to end, and many times he had asked his grandfather for guidance, but his prayers had fallen on deaf ears, and the war indubitably waged on. Kylo had committed himself to the Dark Side, to Supreme Leader Snoke, yet the Light still called to him.

He did not understand how this Force sensitive girl brought him such peace. She was like a magnet, and now he was drawn to her relaxing aura and balance with the Force. Even in his Jedi training, Kylo had always struggled with his connection to the Dark Side. His anger was something that not even Luke had known how to quell. But this girl and her connection to the Force – it simply balanced him.

Now that he was away from her again, he felt the war within him stirring. Kylo considered barging back in just to bask in the serenity, but he knew it would be inappropriate after he'd just fled the room. But he wanted nothing more than to stare at her sun-kissed skin and her beautiful refined features. Her eyes were like light, emerald glass, with flecks of brown and gray. Though her hair was pulled back, it was still a wispy, lovely chestnut color.

He had spent a long time sitting there, soaking in the details of her appearance and feeling the Force ebbing and swelling within her. He had known before, in the forest on Takodana, that she carried the Force within her. It was that innocent, that unexplored connection he enjoyed sensing. She was strong, he could feel it, but she didn't know it yet.

Kylo knew he had to speak with his master, Supreme Leader Snoke. His master would be expecting an update on the map and he would be surprised to hear about Kylo's discovery. They had both felt a shift in the Force – an awakening, and the Supreme Leader would be pleased to hear he had found the culprit.

Ren headed to the communications room as fast as he could. The sound of his boots against the metal floor resonated down the hall. Stormtroopers averted their eyes as he passed. They were all so afraid of him, with or without the mask. The fear he inflicted on them was something he reveled in. The First Order had brought him so much power and he was far more respected here than he ever had been a Luke's Jedi academy.

Kylo finally entered the communications room, and Supreme Leader Snoke's hologram was already visible. General Hux must have already called the Supreme Leader. That arrogant fool must be at the bridge still, but he was taking his sweet time to arrive.

"Do you have the map," Snoke questioned, his voice was severely agitated.

"No, I don't," Ren replied with a note of frustration. He tried reining his anger back in, but it was always hard when he failed at a task.

That was when General Hux rudely entered the communications room. "He felt the girl was all we needed. He didn't pursue the droid, and I'm sure it's in the Resistance's hands. I think we should use the Superweapon now. We must strike fear into the Republic without hesitation, without the Republic the Resistance will be vulnerable. We should destroy their most important bases and make an example of their actions. We should destroy more than the Hosnian system. We should move to eliminate their important trade routes in the Bothan space system, and then we can move to the Ileenium system."

Snoke leaned back, he was callously calculating their next move, Kylo knew it. His master's eyes contained a deadly gleam to them that the young Dark Lord knew too all too well.

"Ready the base and plan your attack," Snoke declared. He sounded proud of his decision; he must have been pleased to finally land a significant strike against the Resistance.

General Hux bowed, and gave Kylo a smug smirk before he left. That pompous prick would fail Snoke one day, and Kylo couldn't wait to see that day come to fruition.

"Why have you not retrieved the map?" His master said with repugnance.

"The girl has seen the map, but she resisted my methods. She has the Force, and she is stronger than she knows," he retorted.

There was a very small pause as his master leaned closer to him. "Bring the girl to me," he stated with malice in his voice.

"Master, please. Give me a chance to get the map, I won't fail you. Let me prove to you that I can do this," he pleaded. Often times Kylo felt like Snoke doubted his determination and loyalty. He wanted nothing more than to establish himself as a worthy apprentice to his master.

His declaration was met with silence. Kylo feared that his master would punish him for being so outspoken.

"Just get me the map and I want the girl intact," Snoke agreed, reluctantly.

"I will, I promise I wouldn't fail you," he said, gratefully. There was no way he was going to let this girl stop him from obtaining that map.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for taking the time to read my second installment. All of the support has been very overwhelming and I really appreciate it. For those of you who commented last time, I really enjoyed the feedback.
> 
> If you could leave a comment on how you think the story is progressing, that would mean the world to me. The next chapter should be done soon, and it will entail a reunion between Rey and Kylo. Also on a small note, I will be extending the time frame in which certain events happened in the movie. Again, thank you for taking the time to read this chapter.


	3. A Choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Kylo Ren abducted Rey on Takodana, he had solely been seeking the map to Luke. But once he felt Rey's connection to the Force, and learned of her ability to quell the war between the dark and light sides within him – he knew he would be seeking more than just the map from her. Hopefully, she can see more than a monster in him. Rating may change. Rey/Kylo Ren

Rey felt her heart pounding as she yanked desperately on her restraints. There was no way she could stay here for more than a day. The Resistance needed her, and she needed to protect the map to Luke Skywalker. Plus, she was already afraid of what would happen when Kylo Ren returned. When he had left, Rey could feel rage flowing from him. Never again did she want to be confronted with his anger, if she could help it.

She had never anticipated being captured by the First Order. If she had known she might have left with Finn to avoid this whole ordeal. Rey wondered where Finn was – by now he must be in the outer rim. At least he was probably getting what he wanted, freedom from the First Order and a new life.

They had parted ways at the cantina on Takodana, he had decided to take work to escape to the outer rim and start a new life, a life free of the First Order. Finn had begged her to go with and join him, but Rey would never be content running away. They had had a mission to return BB-8 to the Resistance – Rey wasn't the type to go back on her word, not ever. Rey had been quite shocked and hurt by Finn's abrupt departure, even though they hadn't known each other that long Rey would never have left Finn on his own. Never.

Rey had always felt she was a loyal person, loyal to the slim amount of friends she had on Jakku, but especially loyal to the family that had given her up. In all the years she lived on Jakku, she had considered leaving, but Rey could never bring herself to actually leave the planet. Poverty had played a role, but she also couldn't bring herself to abandon the last place her family would look for her. If she ran away, there was a chance she would miss her family's return. The possibility of seeing her family had kept her there on Jakku, like a moon caught in a planet's gravity.

She had considered returning to Jakku after landing on Takodana; there was that slim chance her family could have returned. But Maz had told Rey the happiness she was looking for was not behind on Jakku, but ahead of her. Maz was a mystical woman and oddly enough Rey trusted her. She hoped that Maz's statement was alluding that her family was out there. Maybe they didn't have the intention of ever returning to Jakku, but maybe they were still out there, alive, safe – waiting for her.

For what that was worth, Rey didn't see hiding away on Jakku as an option anymore. No, she had to be brave and face a new destiny.

In that moment, all her thoughts were distributed when she felt it, a dark presence closing in, making its way toward her. Kylo Ren, he was coming back – she could sense it.

Rey viciously began tugging on her bonds. Her heart was pounding against her rib cage like a hand against a drum. There was no way to know what Kylo would do, she was sure he would use a more traditional form of torture to get his information now.

It was too late to make any escape, Rey looked up as the door opened and Kylo Ren walked in. There was an urgency in his gait that made her nervous. Ren's black robes swished slightly behind him as the door closed – and they were left in solitude.

Kylo had put his mask back on, she knew he was trying to intimidate her. At first his true identity had frightened her, but now Rey wished she could see his face once again, she found it hard to be terrified when she was reminded Kylo was as human as her. Trepidation grasped her tight, as Ren stalked around her, he knew she was his prey, and he wanted to remind her of that.

"I want the map," Kylo hissed, his robotic voice rang in her ears distinctly. "And you will give it to me one way or another. You can make this simple, or you can make this very difficult for yourself."

"What?" Rey exclaimed with surprise. "You're giving me an option?"

This had to be some type of trap, a complete scam. There was no way Kylo Ren would make this easy for her. They both must be deadly options that led to her demise. Rey listened to him, but with harsh skepticism.

"Yes, I am willing to give you an option. You can either give me the map in exchange for some basic Jedi training and then I will send you to the Supreme Leader. Or I can torture you until you give me the information and then I will send you to the Supreme Leader. Your choice."

Kylo was very calm as he relayed the deal to her. She could hardly understand why he would want her around, or why he was even willing to train his enemy. Wasn't she just a liability to him, nothing more than a headache or problem.

"Why would you train me," she questioned doubtfully. "I could just turn on you." Her bold remark seemed to only fuel Kylo Ren's irritation.

"The chance of you beating me in combat is improbable, and even if I trained you for weeks, you wouldn't even be close to the skill I have achieved. I'm not afraid of you," he retorted, hastily. For a second Rey was certain she heard hints of uncertainty gliding through his synthetic voice.

A smirk played across Rey's lips almost against her will. "And if I take the training and refuse to give you the information?"

Kylo clenched his fists, she could feel anger bubbling up inside him. He leaned in so close to her she could see the small snatches in his black mask. "I will torture you in ways you could never imagine. Ways that will scar you forever, ways that will make you wish you were dead."

Rey felt a chill run up her spine and circulate around her whole body. Kylo was dead serious about torturing her. For some reason the torture seemed like a definite end result, that even if she took the training there was going to be torture involved.

"Why would you waste your time training me?" She didn't see what he gained from this, there must be some hidden reward she was unaware of.

"I have my reasons, but I'm not inclined to share them with you," Kylo replied.

"How long will you be training me, you're not going to train me for two days and then expect me to give up the map? Because I will refuse then." She stated, there was no way she was going to have him just plainly take advantage of her, if she could help it.

"I will train you as long as I feel it's necessary and as long as you wish to cooperate. You're in no position to negotiate anyway. Now choose." Kylo said sternly. Rey sighed, obviously Kylo Ren wasn't a patient man, this type of decision couldn't be made in a split second.

Rey thought about it, taking the training would be smart, extremely incisive in her opinion – Kylo Ren would be giving her an edge when it came to the Force. If there was a chance the Resistance was planning on rescuing her, this time extension could work in her favor.

Though she wasn't excited to be spending time with Kylo Ren, he was nothing more than a vile monster, and she had survived unscathed from monsters back at Niima Outpost. Unkar had been a pretty nasty bully to tangle with and she'd outsmarted him often enough by tricking him out of portions a few times. In reality, Rey knew there was a big difference between outmaneuvering a junk lord and besting a dark-hearted Jedi Knight. There were very stark differences between them but Rey would try her best not to cower in the face of the Dark Lord.

Rey mulled over her choices apprehensively – the Jedi training could be invaluable, and an opportunity she might never get again if the First Order got to Luke Skywalker first. Of course, she would do everything in her power to thwart the First Order from so much as touching the famous Jedi Master.

She sighed, before she gave Kylo her answer. He had finally stopped pacing and now her was standing in front of her, impatiently awaiting her reply. "I'll take your training in exchange for the map."

"Good, we will start tomorrow." There was a moment of silence before Kylo whirled around and was about to leave. She heard his boots collide with the metal floor as he approached the exit.

"Wait," she called to him. As soon as she spoke her voice was caught in her throat, as if a brick was pressing against her vocal chords. It took Rey a few seconds for her to banish the lump in her throat. "Can I make a request, or maybe two?"

Kylo whipped around, there was a drastic change in the air between them. He was highly annoyed by her asking anything of him. She knew she wasn't really in the position to make requests, but she hadn't eaten since the cantina and it had been a week since she had bathed last.

"I will consider them based on the requests," he said, coldly. It was being obvious that he wasn't the type of man that was used to negotiating.

"While training, could you not wear the mask? Seeing your face would help with my training – I mean." She felt embarrassed asking now – heat was rising to her cheeks. "I just think it would make me feel more comfortable with learning."

Her voice sounded flustered and less confident than she was feeling. Rey quickly gathered her thoughts, and straightened up her composure.

Kylo remained silent, he didn't even reply to her request.

"And my second request is less irrational. Could I possibly eat and bath?" Ren still hadn't even responded to her requests. Rey hoped she hadn't overstepped her bounds.

She became nervous as Kylo turned to face her fully, there was no way she could be certain of what he was thinking. He took a few amble steps toward her, that was when he extended his hand directly at her head and Rey felt darkness closing in around her once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, thank you so much for reading my next chapter. All your support really means a lot to me, so thank you. If you have time to write a quick review on how you think the chapter went, that would be highly appreciated. Next chapter will be from Kylo's perspective again.


	4. Déjà Vu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Kylo Ren abducted Rey on Takodana, he had solely been seeking the map to Luke Skywalker from her. But once he felt Rey's connection to the Force, and learned of her ability to quell the war between dark and light within him – he knew he would be seeking more than just the map from her. Hopefully, she can see more than a monster in him. Rating may change. Slow burn Rey/Kylo Ren

t was like déjà vu, again Kylo was carrying Rey in his arms. When he had carried her through the woods back on Takodana, he had been focused on getting her back to his ship without being stopped. Now that there was no danger in escorting her to his chambers, Kylo found himself studying her features again.

Her skin was beautifully tan, he couldn't remember the last time he had been so tan, probably when he was a child. She had the lightest freckles spotted across her forehead, and the way her hair clung to her sweat-stained cheeks was so surreal.

Rey was beautiful, more beautiful than he would ever admit aloud. Kylo wished he could stroke her cheeks, as to clear the sand, tears and sweat from her face. Her thin, dull, pink lips were parted as she lay unconscious in his arms. Her lips looked so soft he wished he could touch them, just to see for himself.

Kylo studied her physique, she had perfectly defined curves. Rey was also muscular and well toned, it must be a result from being a scavenger on Jakku. Being a scavenger must have been a very demanding life, he had seen some of her memories of living on Jakku. Her life as a scavenger had been a life of basic serfdom to junkyard lords.

He would never have a life of slavery – well not complete slavery. Never would he feel free of Supreme Leader Snoke, his master would need him, as long as he was useful, he feared.

They finally reached his chambers, where he unlocked the door and carried her into his one bedroom suite. Unlike the Stormtroopers, he was able to have his own room for research.

There was nothing beguiling about his chambers; it was a dull uniform gray with a bed, a desk, a wardrobe, a comlink and a bathroom. It was always unkept and impersonal, he didn't feel the need to decorate or clean. Why he had spent the last few months finding clues to the map leading to Skywalker.

Kylo set Rey down in a chair by his desk, he had her hands still bound. In truth, he didn't trust her to not attack him, so being cautious was his best plan. He had used the Force to make her unaware; Kylo didn't want her to know where he was taking her, the less information she knew about Starkiller Base the better.

Kylo thought about waking her, but before he did he wanted to discover how she made him feel so at peace, and he wanted to cleanse himself of the light if possible. That had been his whole reason for agreeing to train her – he wanted to strengthen his own connection to the Force. Once he discovered how to end the call to the light, he would demand the map.

He sat down, closed his eyes and focused on the Force. He could feel it everywhere, but he reigned his focus in – specifically to Rey. The Force flowed through her like a river, unchecked and strong. It was clean too, her connection to the Force, it was unpolluted of anger or hate.

She wasn't vengefully of her family just leaving her on Jakku. Rey was calm even though her companion – Finn had abandoned her on their mission to protect the droid from Kylo. It bewildered him how she could be so at peace after all this betrayal – it confused him how anger did not grow inside her.

Kylo snapped back to the mission at hand, he tried to use her as a conduit, to channel her clean connection to him. Kylo started to draw on her clean connection, he could feel it flowing through him now. It felt like cold water from a spring thaw, the Force from her was cleansing and the feeling numbed him.

There he clung, to the feeling of nothing, this wasn't what he wanted, but it was better than being torn apart. He desperately tried to tap into the darkness around him; it was there, in the distance but it eluded him. He clawed at it – he tried to reach toward the dark side of the Force, but to no avail.

Exasperatedly he relinquished his connection and broke his focus to the Force around him. How could the dark side be outside his grasp? His intuition with the dark side was sturdy, but he had been unable to reach it when he used her as a conduit.

Kylo was no closer to solving this riddle than before. His anger overtook him and Ren slammed his fist on his desk. He could feel the metal cry and bend under his strength. Rey jolted awake, her eyes were wide and fear stricken.

"Where am I?" She said startled. Rey was looking up at him with trepidation laced in her gaze.

Kylo remember about what she had said about his mask, so he pulled it off and set it on his bed. He watched as her shoulders and eyes visibly relaxed. It was refreshing to look at her from outside the mask anyways, his vision wasn't contained.

"I brought you to my chambers, I will get you some food, and I have fresh clothes and a shower." Rey nodded, as her eyes darted around his room.

Ren walked over to his wardrobe where he pulled out some old training robes, they had been his from Luke's Academy. They were very similar to the ones she already had, but they were a darker shade of beige.

"I'll call for food, you should wash up now." Kylo insisted as he handed her the training robes.

"Thank you," she replied shyly. For the first time, Rey gave him a small smile. The way she flashed her perfect teeth and her eyes lit up, Kylo felt his heart go wild – he hadn't expected that. He nodded his approval and turned around, he had to hide his blushing.

Rey stood up and walked in the bathroom with the clothes he had offered her. It wasn't long until he heard the pattering of water on a metal floor, indicating she was taking a shower.

While she was preoccupied Kylo quickly rushed out of the room momentarily to call a Stormtrooper over. He demanded to have two meals brought over to his chambers as soon as possible. The trooper had reluctantly agreed, and Kylo had returned to his room.

Quickly, Kylo arranged the furniture to make a place for both him and Rey to eat, his desk would have to suffice as a dinner table, and some old plates and forks from his cabinet would have to make up their silverware. He ate here often by himself, he enjoyed the privacy and he could continue his research without distractions.

Once he was done, Ren took a seat on his bed. He had left a particular book on his nightstand, a book that relayed the stories and powers of every Sith Lord. This book was definitely one of his favorite relics. He loved the story of Darth Bane, but Kylo was only through the history of the Old Republic. Currently he was stuck on the relationship of Darth Plagueis the Wise and his apprentice Darth Sidious who had been the Emperor of the previous Empire.

The story was a chilling one, Darth Plagueis was definitely the most powerful Sith of all time. He had learned how to nearly stop death and could create life using the Force. Darth Sidious had learned all he could from his master, and then one night while Darth Plagueis slept, Darth Sidious had murdered him. Kylo shuddered slightly, it was a good reminder that no matter how powerful he was, he would need to be on high alert while he trained Rey. At any moment she could try something drastic or dangerous, and it would be his job to stop her. If she escaped it would be his fault too, but there was no way he would be letting Rey escape, he needed her more than she understood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for taking the time to read my fourth chapter. All of the support has been very overwhelming and I really appreciate it. For those of you who commented last time, I really enjoyed the feedback, it truly made my day. If you could leave a comment on how you think the story is progressing, that would mean the world to me. The next chapter should be done soon, and it will be from Rey's perspective, and it will be packed with Rey and Kylo interacts. Again, thank you for reading.


	5. Vulnerability

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Kylo Ren abducted Rey on Takodana, he had solely been seeking the map to Luke Skywalker from her. But once he felt Rey's connection to the Force, and learned of her ability to quell the war between dark and light within him – he knew he would be seeking more than just the map from her. Hopefully, she can see more than a monster in him. Rating may change. Slow burn Rey/Kylo Ren

Rey relished the feeling of hot water running down her back, this base wherever it was located, was freezing. Maybe it was just her intolerance to cold, she had spent all of her life being hot or overheated. Being cool was a luxury she could never afford.

Thoroughly Rey scrubbed off a week's worth of grime and sweat. Her hands were still restricted by the restraints, but she did her best to wash off. Kylo had some generic looking shampoo and soap, which apparently smelled like Ryoos. Rey had heard of the beautiful blue and yellow flowers that grew only on Naboo. The smell was surprisingly manly for such a gorgeous flower.

She finished her shower, dried off and she started slipping on her new clothes. Rey had gotten her pants on when she hit a very bad altercation. Her hands were still bound in front of her, and Rey wasn't certain how to pull the undershirt over her head.

There was nothing Rey could do but blush, she didn't want to ask for help. She didn't want to be indebted to him, and there was no way Kylo was going to see her shirtless. Rey tried desperately for ten minutes to get her shirt on, but her efforts were in vain. Finally, she broke down, Rey was already feeling slightly embarrassed and she hadn't even asked for help yet. She was internally kicking herself for not foreseeing this dilemma.

Timidly, Rey opened the bathroom door, and peeked around the corner. Kylo had moved his desk to the center of his room to create a makeshift dinner table. He had two chairs placed at the table, with plates and actual silverware. Rey had never used silverware before, most of her life she had been eating packets of dried food and self-cooked rolls.

Kylo himself was sitting on his bed reading a book, he seemed to be very absorbed in whatever he was reading.

"Kylo." Rey whispered softly to him.

He turned around to face her, his expression was one of mild concern and light annoyance. "What?"

"There is a problem, you see, my hands are bound and I can't get my shirt on," Rey said with trepidation, never before had anyone seen her shirtless and she refused to let him – of all people, see her so exposed.

"Oh," he said nervously. "I can take off the cuffs, but I'm going to need to see them... Your cuffs, I mean." He seemed slightly flustered, and Rey found it a little amusing. Slowly, Kylo got up and walked over to the bathroom door. "Just extend your wrists."

She obediently stuck out her wrists, while her body hid behind the safety of the bathroom door. There was a moment of hesitation before he totally unlocked her restrains.

"You're not going to try and kill me, are you?" Kylo Ren asked, his tone was stern but there hid a note of playfulness she hadn't expected. She was glad Kylo was trying to defuse the awkwardness.

"No," Rey replied carefully. "I think I've had enough bad luck trying to kill you." She looked up to see a ghostly smirk appear on Kylo's face, it was very lopsided almost a secretive type of smirk. Rey witnessed it fade almost instantly and for a moment she almost wished it would come back. He unlocked her cuffs and tucked the key back in one of his pockets.

"Thank you." she said gratefully. Truly, Rey was so pleased to not feel like a slave or prisoner. She was also happy that Ren had been so civil, not every man in his position might have been as gentle as he had been.

Kylo nodded, and turned back to sit on in a chair at his desk. He grabbed his book and continued his research while Rey slipped back into the bathroom. Her heart was pounding out of her chest. Things could have gone very different if Kylo Ren had decided to take advantage of her vulnerable state. But he hadn't and for that she was truly thankful for, and for a moment Rey thought he was being a gentleman, but she expelled the ridiculous thought from her mind.

Rey finished slipping on the clothes she had been given. They fit her snugly, Kylo must have been a teenager when he last wore these robes if they fit her. Her new training getup was a darker shade of sandstone than her previous clothing, but color wasn't a concern of hers.

Rey used the towel to dry her hair as fast as humanly possible, and quickly she tied her hair back into her signature three small buns. The noises her stomach were making seemed unnatural, and Rey felt her stomach would collapse on itself if she didn't eat soon.

Nervously, Rey poked her head out of the bathroom, and instantly her eyes met Kylo's as she moved to his desk. His black hair fell in front of his face which cast a dark shadow over his features, but his endless brown eyes were still fixated on her. With leeriness Rey approached the table.

Kylo stood up and pulled out a chair for Rey. "You're my guest, and I do know how ladies should be treated. I grew up with a mother who taught me manners," Rey ignored the hypocrisy in his comment, he had just tortured her before, and she was certain that's not how ladies were to be treated. Timidly, Rey sat in the chair, and Ren pushed it in for her. While Kylo was taking a seat, Rey examined the plates. They were full to the brim of what looked like red meat and some odd vegetable; Rey had never seen food look so fresh and delicious.

Rey dug her hands straight into the red meat and started spooning it into her mouth. Kylo looked up at her with an expression of confusion.

"Does everyone on Jakku eat like a savage?" He inquired.

"I never had silverware so I never learned how to use it," Rey said between mouthfuls of food.

"Watch me," he instructed. Rey stopped what she was doing and wiped her hands off. Patiently, she observed the way Kylo used his silverware before she tried to mimic his motions. She was getting better with the fork as she used it to impale her food.

For the rest of the meal they ate in silence, in a silence so thick Rey could have cut it with a knife. Kylo was focused on his plate, refusing to even look at her. She considered making conversation, but Rey didn't know anything about him, except that he was strong with the Force and he was afraid he would never be as strong as Dark Vader.

She found it odd that he was so fixated on a particular Sith Lord, there had to be a reason behind his idolization of Vader.

"So, why do you like Darth Vader so much," Rey inquired. Kylo looked up at her, his eyes were like daggers digging into her flesh. Maybe that had been the wrong question to ask, but she was curious.

"Darth Vader was my grandfather," he admitted. He sounded too honest and proud to be bluffing.

"You sound very proud of that," Rey replied. What an inane thing to be bragging about. Vader had been considered the most vicious and hated killer to exist in the Empire. The man had been more robot than man from what she had heard.

"Why shouldn't I be proud? He was the most powerful Jedi of his time," Kylo shot back, his eyes were like chips of ice.

"Maybe because he was the embodiment of evil, but that's just my opinion." Rey had enjoyed taking a nice stab at his ego. "If Vader is your grandfather, who are your parents?" There had been rumors that Luke Skywalker was really Darth Vader's son, but she had never heard it confirmed. Maybe that was why Luke and Kylo had the Force.

"Are you Luke's son?" She could hardly keep the excited curiosity out of her own voice.

"No, Luke is my uncle. My mother is General Leia Organa and my father is... Han Solo." The way he said Han Solo made Rey shudder.

That's when everything clicked, it explained why Kylo had been so upset by her memories of Han Solo. It also explained why Luke was in hiding. Han had told Rey one of the apprentices had lost it and turned to the dark side. There had been a massacre of all Luke's students and Luke blamed himself. Kylo must have been that student, she was certain of it now. He was the only one that was connected to the dark side – but how had he ended up here was still a mystery. His mother lead the Resistance, so why would he turned his back on her?

"Han Solo is your father? What happened that you ended up with the First Order?" She couldn't keep her curiosity at bay.

"Do you always ask so many questions?" Ren replied, his tone was inhospitable.

"I'm just trying to make conversation, and learn a little about you. You're forgetting the fact that you know more about me, you forced yourself into my mind," Rey retorted dryly.

"A fair point," Kylo said, he didn't seem to take kindly to her using that against him. "I think you've learned enough about me for one day. I must retire soon, and you will need to be given a prisoner's cell."

Rey listened as Kylo used the comlink to call her an escort to the prisoner's cell. How unfair, she thought. He was allowed unrestricted access to her thoughts and feelings, but he was too scared to answer some basic questions.

"I need to put the cuffs back on you," Ren commanded. Rey understood, she nodded and offered him her wrists. Hastily, he put the cuffs on her – right as her Stormtrooper entourage arrived.

"We will start tomorrow," Kylo said, his voice was soft. Rey narrowed her eyes at him as cold gloves gripped her arms and the troopers dragged her from Ren's quarters.

They forced her down a group of tight hallways, before they brought her to a cell block. Rey shuddered as she heard screams of agony echo down the hall. The soldiers forced her half way down the hall before they shoved her in cell labeled 110. The door shut behind her with a distinct bang as Rey was left in solitary. The room was cramped, and very uniformly colored – the only appliances available to her were a toilet, sink, and a metal bar for a bed. This was truly maddening, there was no way anyone could sit in here for more than a few days without going insane.

Rey decided to do what was best for her, which was get some sleep. It had been at least a few days since she had really slept, the last time she remembered sleeping was back on Jakku. Without hesitation, Rey tried her best to get cozy on her metal bar bed. They at least had left a pillow and blanket to easy her extreme discomfort. Rey closed her eyes and hoped sleep would come to her.

* * *

 

She had barely gotten a wink of sleep all night. She had been consumed of thoughts about Kylo Ren, and everything she had learned about him. He was the son of the famous ex-princess and smuggler – he had the one thing she has always dreamed of, family. Yet, Kylo chose to throw it all away, to what, follow the legacy of a man he never even knew.

Han Solo had been kind to her, he'd even offered her a job. The man didn't seem to be evil, but then again, Rey hadn't known him long. Maybe Han hadn't been a good father to Kylo; she couldn't be certain.

She wondered what had turned him to the dark side. It couldn't be as simple as his relation to Darth Vader. Anger and hate were generally breed from events, no one was born inherently angry or hateful. Something had happened to spawn such strong resentment, and Rey wanted to know the truth.

Before now, Rey had thought of Kylo as just a monster, but after he had removed her restraints, she thought of him a little different. A true monster would have taken advantage of her naked vulnerability, but he hadn't. Maybe he wasn't as monstrous as she had thought, that deep down there was good in him. Good that he chose to hide from the world. If that was the case, Rey would find it, and she would try her best to nurture it.

Rey was jolted from her thoughts as she heard her cell door open, and the man consuming her thoughts appeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for taking the time to read my fifth installment. I just wanted to thank everyone who has reviewed, your feedback is really helping me forge through new chapters. The next chapter will start Rey's training; chapters will become a little longer and much more intense after this, I promise. Again, thank you for all the support.


	6. Radiating Peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Kylo Ren abducted Rey on Takodana, he had solely been seeking the map to Luke Skywalker from her. But once he felt Rey's connection to the Force, and learned of her ability to quell the war between dark and light within him – he knew there would be no letting her go so easily. Hopefully, she can see more than a monster in him. Rating will change. Slow burn Rey/Kylo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I just wanted to thank you for being such wonderful followers. You guys are amazingly supportive. I hope you enjoy the chapter! And the following chapter will be from Rey's perspective per usual. :)

It was early when Kylo approached Rey's new cell. It was the first day of Rey's training, and Kylo was honestly nervous. He had never taught anyone before. At Luke's Jedi Academy he had often watched Luke teach other students – training had always started with meditation and understanding one's own connection to the Force. Kylo decided that would be a good place to start, even if Rey surpassed that in a day or two he could move on to moving objects using the Force.

Kylo reminded himself this wasn't solely about teaching Rey, this was about him defeating the light within himself, about finding balance with the Force, the type of balance Rey seemed to emanate. After yesterday's failed attempt to use Rey as a conduit to try and purge the light from himself – he decided he would try again during their training, while she was awake. Maybe she needed to be drawing from the Force and containing it for him, before he could cleanse himself of the light and find peace.

He had been informed that she was in prisoner cell 110, which was closer to the entrance of the cell block. Kylo reached cell numbered 110 and promptly input the security code.

He was shocked to see Rey sitting on her metal bed waiting for him. Anxiously, she was playing with her tawny colored training uniform.

"You're awake and ready?" Kylo asked.

Now that he was close to Rey again he could feel the harmony she was emitting. It still bewildered him how such a young and unskilled Jedi could be so intertwined and skilled with the Force. The peace she brought was as intoxicating as any sweet scent and Kylo tried to ignore it.

Rey nodded, she stood up and followed him closely. The dark circles under her eyes and the sluggishness in her movements proved she hadn't slept well. Training was going to be very slow if she couldn't focus, and he might have to drag out their lesson on Force meditation.

Kylo listened to Rey's light steps as she followed behind through a maze of hallways. They reached his training room without even being passed by a patrol of Stormtroopers.

General Hux would be watching him closely, that pompous ass was always looking for a way to destroy others in power, and Kylo definitely had influence when it came to the Supreme Leader. The less Stormtroopers they saw, the less anyone could report to General Hux.

Not long ago, Ren had demanded his own area to train his Force and saber skills, and the Supreme Leader had obliged. Kylo had the room outfitted with different sized cylinders to practice his skill with moving objects, as well as obstacles to improve his agility. He decided that would be their place to practice, which meant he had to watch Rey closely.

Ren promoted Rey to enter first, cautiously he checked the hallway before he closed the door behind them. The room was large, about half the size of their smaller hangar bays. Even Rey looked fascinated by its size and all the equipment. Kylo saw Rey's eyes flutter to the walls – they were badly scarred from his outbursts of anger. Often times he would come here just to beat the walls with his saber – to take out his rage when he failed or when he received bad news.

"This is my training room. I come here to meditate and work on my skills," he said humbly. Rey turned to face him, he was surprised to see such excitement on her face. With eyes as bright as a sun and a very small smile – Rey looked at him.

"I see you didn't take my request into consideration." Kylo realized she was talking about him wearing his black helmet. "I've seen your face before, why do you have to cover it?"

"Do I need a reason to wear my mask," he replied. The mask would make her respect him, it would remove emotions or feelings from their training, and that's what he needed.

Rey shrugged as the smile fell from her face – she looked at him attentively. Kylo struggled to get his thoughts together, her very excitement about learning had been exhilarating to him – he could feel his heart flutter. This was the reason he needed the mask, he needed to cover up the heat that was rising in his cheeks. He didn't want to have his body betray him; Rey wouldn't be able to respect him if he was blushing.

"Our first lesson will be meditation, you must become aware of your connection to the Force before we can move forward," Kylo stated, as he sat down. "The Force exists everywhere and in every living being. When meditating you must draw upon emotions to strengthen your skills."

"Emotions? I thought emotions were what weakened Jedi," Rey questioned. It was obvious she knew a little about the old Jedi teachings.

"When I was Luke's student he told us to draw upon feelings of compassion, selflessness and mercy. The Jedi wanted their students to release hate, fear and anger – that was what weakened them. Luke said hate and fear are what the dark side fed on."

Rey looked at him with wide eyes. "That's what you draw on, isn't it?"

Kylo looked down at his hands, back on Takodana and when he had interrogated Rey, he had used her fear to strengthen his powers. It was easy to grasp onto fear, most people that saw him were terrified and he often used that to his advantage.

"Yes," he confirmed. "I use fear to bolster my attacks. Does it make you feel better knowing that?" He said unceremoniously. Within seconds he regretted his hastily remark, for Rey's gaze became very frigid. Kylo sighed, and continued with his lesson.

"Once you have become aware of these emotions you must let them strengthen you and your connection to the Force. The old Jedi Order taught students to have a clear mind, but Luke said positive emotions are used to strengthen your connection."

Rey nodded to show her understanding.

"Supreme Leader Snoke has personally taught me to draw upon feelings of anger, hate and others fear. It is up to you which emotions you choose to draw from. Compassion is so finite, but hatred has proven to be so unlimited." Kylo was curious as to what emotions Rey would pick.

The dark side would be easy for her, she already had bitterness about her family leaving her on Jakku. Bitterness was a close step toward hatred, if she focused her pain it would fester into hate.

"You should draw upon your pain, I sense you have some toward your family and that friend of yours FN-2187. They both left you alone to suffer," he ventured.

"His name's Finn, and he is a good man. Choosing anger would be easy, but taking the easy path has never been my way," Rey said vehemently. He tried to hide his vexation, how dare she insinuate he took the easy route.

Kyle gritted his teeth, he liked her defiant attitude, hardly ever was he denied what he wanted anymore. Everyone here was afraid of him and that meant he could do what he pleased, and have his way. If he could turn her to the dark side, then he would have a powerful ally as well as someone to end his battle between the dark and light side. He had underestimated her usefulness, but now that understood her full potential – he felt very satisfied with his plan.

Rey sat down across from him and elected to sit in a comfortable position – slowly she closed her eyes. He watched her body relax and he felt her focusing on the Force around them. Almost instantly the air shifted; she he was drawing from the Force already – he could feel the power she was conjuring. Rey was talented, he would give her that, not often were students able to tap into the Force with such ease.

Kylo felt as if a tidal wave of peace washed over him. Rey was literally transmitting this relaxing aura that Kylo had felt before. She was so at peace with herself that he could feel it more than ever.

He closed his eyes and tried to gather upon his own anger and hate. It was harder than Kylo remembered to conjure his anger – he really had to focus on memories, which was something that hadn't been necessary in many years. He suspected it was Rey's undue influence over him, she radiated positive energy from her own meditation.

He focused on memories of his father abandoning their family and the emotions that plagued him as a child – resentment and discontent. His father had left frequently for months at a time to continue his reputation as a smuggler. Kylo had been very sensitive to his mother's sadness every time he left. That was probably where his animosity had started. It wasn't long until he was attuned to the dark side that swelled around him. He wallowed in the feeling of the darkness, and it flowed through him like water.

The room had an odd charge to it, as if dark and light were waging a war. Kylo could feel the light pressing toward him, the calling from before was louder. Ren saw flashes of Rey's thoughts, she was concentrated on her friend Finn. She was forgiving him for leaving her on their mission to protect BB-8. Rey understood that Finn did what was necessary to get the life he wanted.

Kylo couldn't understand how she was so forgiving of abandonment, how did she not hold a grudge for Finn's selfishness? If it was not for Finn's cowardly desire to run way, Rey might not be here in his clutches.

Kylo pushed her visions from his head – he had a mission at hand. Without hesitation Ren pulled at her connection to the Force. This time he was rebounded, and he felt the burn of the light. He hadn't expected her to be so powerful already – she shouldn't have the mental focus to lock him out yet.

Kylo opened his eyes to see Rey staring at him with a reproachful look. "You were trying to get in my mind, I felt it." Rey said coldly. "I thought you said this was about training, not extracting information from me."

"This is about training you," he countered quickly. "I was testing your mental focus." He covered his tracks with lies.

"How can I trust that was your true intention?" Rey looked at him suspiciously.

"You can't, you'll have to decide for yourself," he said honestly. Kylo kicked himself for being as idiotic to think he could try and draw from her while she awake. It had been worth a shot, but now Rey would be leery of him.

There was only one way to remedy the situation – Kylo removed his black helmet. The hissing from the pressure change rung in his ears, but Ren looked straight into her unfathomable brown eyes, they were so rich and fierce.

"I wasn't trying to extract the map from you, I promise." he said honestly. That truly hadn't been his intention, so he could at least be sincere about that.

She must have believed him, for she nodded slowly. "Let me meditate in peace," Rey said strictly. She went back to her meditation, but Kylo did not follow suit.

Instead he sat on the ground and reflected in terror – what if he couldn't attain peace without her? It might be impossible for him to have peace on his own. Snoke had said killing his father would fulfill his connection to the dark side, giving him peace. Ren was upset at his father, yet Han Solo was his blessing as well as his bane. He hated his father for leaving their family alone often, yet his father had taught him how to be a pilot and how to fix ships. Things he enjoyed as a child and even as an adult – he still piloted his own ship. But the pain of not having a father around often had outweighed the good Han Solo had done. Still he clung to the happy memories – he would not let them go even if the Supreme Leader ordered it.

Kylo thought the task of killing his father was so daunting. How could he kill his father in cold blood? Han Solo was outside his reach now, and if the day came where he saw Han again, he wasn't sure he was strong enough to kill him. What if killing his father didn't bring him closer to the dark side, then it would have all been for naught.

But Rey's peaceful aura offered him a solution, if he could harness her peace, then there might not be a need to kill his father. He needed to contain her peace, and so far that was proving impossible. If he couldn't absorb her peace, then his next step would be to turn her to the dark side. If she continued her path toward the light side, Supreme Leader would brand her an enemy, and he would have to kill her. He would have to turn her to the dark side, that was his only option if he failed.

After two hours of Rey just sitting there, radiating her peaceful aura, Kylo called their first lesson to an end.

"That's it," Rey said with disappointment. "You didn't teach me anything."

"Now you understand how the Force works, that's important. You've learned that emotions strengthen your connection." Kylo picked up his helmet and put it back on.

They both left with a feeling of dissatisfaction, yet over completely different matters. Disheartened by the day's events, Kylo took Rey back to her cell. He input the security code and Rey stepped in on her own.

"We will pick up where we left off tomorrow," he stated. "You should be getting your meal soon and get fully rested, our training will become more rigorous."

Kylo was about to close the door to her cell when he heard Rey demanding his attention.

"Am I to call you master now?" She asked indifferently.

He paused for a second – never before had he considered the idea that he was Rey's master. There was evidence for him to be considered her master, after all he was training her in the ways of the Force. To him, a master was someone who was a permanent teacher, and Ren knew his instruction would only be temporary.

"There is no need for you to call me your master. Kylo Ren will suffice," he concluded.

There was a curious gleam in Rey's eyes and Kylo did not like it one bit. "Has your name always been Kylo Ren," she inquired. "Is it Kylo Solo or maybe Kylo Ren Solo?"

"No, my name used to be Ben Solo, but Ben died years ago, he had to." His reply was very solemn and that's when he closed the door. Ren did not want to be asked another question – he chose to evade her personal inquisition. He couldn't stand to talk about his former self, the past was the past, and Kylo Ren had buried the past long ago. But she was a scavenger, and scavengers always found what was buried and valuable.


	7. Meditations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Kylo Ren abducted Rey on Takodana, he had solely been seeking the map to Luke Skywalker from her. But once he felt Rey's connection to the Force, and learned of her ability to quell the war between dark and light within him – he knew there would be no letting her go so easily. Hopefully, she can see more than a monster in him. Rating will change. Slow burn Rey/Kylo

Rey had felt it today, in their first training session, Kylo Ren still had the Light Side within him. It was smothered under a blanket of darkness, like a flickering light miles away – it was there but faint. Rey had been right about good living within him.

The truth of his anger had become more clear to her during their meditation. Rey had been focusing on her connection to the Force just like he had instructed, but it was hard to ignore the emotions Kylo had been emitting. He was a tense ball of festering hate. He clung to that hatred as if he would die without it – it was the very hatred of his own father, Han Solo. Kylo had felt abandoned by his father when they had sent him away to Luke's Academy. Flashes of Ren's father and mother fading into the distance as he left for the academy had resonated in Rey's mind. Both his parent's faces had been filled with sorrow when Ben had left, but for Ben Solo all he ever felt was betrayal and anger.

Rey had no idea how similar their pain was, she'd been too young to really remember being left on Jakku. Back on Takodana Rey had seen flashes of her abandonment, seeing that opened a wound she thought had closed long ago. She could feel her family loved her – she always could, but she feared they had left her on Jakku to protect her. They had never returned for her, and it worried her everyday that she truly was alone, and that her family existed no more. If she had been older and experienced constant desertion of his parents – she might have become as troubled as Kylo was. But Rey's loneliness had become a fact of her childhood.

Constant loneliness was what kept her on a set track, she had been defined by her environment and own beliefs. Maybe her own pain could be used to heal Kylo's; it was worth a try. If Rey could forgive her parents for leaving her, then at least there was a chance Kylo could do the same.

The comment Kylo had made still rung freshly in her head.

"You should draw upon your anger, I sense you have some toward your family and that friend of yours, FN-2187. They left you alone to suffer."

The very thought had disgusted her, Finn was still her friend, even if he had left to escape the First Order. As for her family, she liked to believe they had an important reason for leaving her. She knew Kylo was trying to sway her from the path of good, and no matter what, she refused to be influenced by his evil.

Rey couldn't be converted to the Dark Side, Maz had told Rey her destiny was to bring Luke back. She would not be diverted from her mission, the moment she was out of here, she was going to find the other pieces of the map. The Galaxy needed Luke.

Then there was the matter of Kylo trying to reach into her thoughts, she was uncertain of his intentions. He claimed it was to test her, but his intentions were still a mystery to her. In the beginning when he tried to extract the map from her, there had been so much pain. But when he had tried this time there hadn't been any discomfort. What was he playing at if he hadn't been after the map, she wondered. Why did he need to get inside her mind?

Ren claimed he was a servant of the Dark Side, but Rey could feel the conflict in him. If he was truly beyond hope Kylo would just be torturing her for the map to Skywalker, but instead he was offering a peaceful exchange. This was not the nature of a true monster, there was good in him, and Rey had felt it.

Rey curled up on her metal bed, and closed her eyes. To warm herself, she pulled the blanket over her head. This damn base was so cold all the time, it seemed like they never even heated the place. Rey rubbed her hands together to try and use the friction as heat.

Tomorrow she decided, tomorrow she would bring up his good side during their training section – maybe try to appeal to him. She didn't want to give up on him yet, not when she felt the light within.

Rey scratched three marks into the wall using her finger nails. It was her third day here, and her second day of training with Kylo Ren. She didn't want to forget and counting always reminded her of the time she had invested. Time was valuable and she didn't want to forget that.

Last night had been miserable, this metal bed was impossible to sleep upon. Her back was sore and no amount of stretching was relieving her pain. She considered asking for another blanket, but there was no way she would be indebted to Kylo any further.

Ren came at the same time as yesterday, the door opened with a buzz and just like yesterday Kylo still wore his black mask. Rey wished she could see his face again. She liked the way his black hair waved and curled – and the way his eyebrows scrunched together when he focused. Honestly, Rey liked studying his face and slowly she was learning all his expressions.

Obediently, Rey got up and followed Kylo through Starkiller Base, until they reached his training room. He was always so skittish when they walked through the halls, like someone was going to jump them. Visibly Rey saw Kylo's shoulders relax as the door closed behind them.

"We will start every lesson with a quick mediation," Kylo stated while he took a seat on the floor.

Rey sat down and began to concentrate on the Force – she pulled on the feels of compassion, just like Ren had told her. This time Kylo was the focus of her compassionate meditation. To her, Kylo was pure just tangled up by his hate for Han Solo. For that she hoped he would find his way again, that he wasn't beyond help. There was a chance Kylo would find forgiveness for his father. It was Han who had allowed his selfishness define Kylo.

"What are you doing," Rey heard Kylo hiss. Her eyes snapped open to see Kylo was standing in front of her. He was tall and towered over her – his stony demeanor and stature refused to be ignored. "Keep me out of your meditation," he warned.

"No." Rey snapped defiantly. "I can meditate about whatever I choose. I sense there is light within you and I hope you embrace it. Your hate is misguided, it's not too late for you to forgive those you believe have wronged you." She had felt it yesterday, he was upset at his father for suggesting that h should be sent away.

Kylo sat down again, anger was boiling underneath those black robes of his – Rey could feel it. Yet his rage never came to a full fruition, he couldn't seem to expel it and yell at her. He was holding back, and Rey took that as a good sign.

"You think you're the only one who had parents that left you. Our pain is similar, except I haven't let it control me – let your hate go. If I can forgive my parents for leaving, you're more than capable of doing it too," Rey told him peacefully.

"My hate is my own, and I will not give it up. But two can play at this childish game," he spat. She could see through his facade, Ren sounded harrowed by her discovery, like the truth was hurting his reputation as an evil, soulless dark lord.

Rey didn't want to give up, she wouldn't give up. "I won't give up on you, I promise." That's was when Rey felt as if she was on quicksand, and the ground was shifting beneath her, Kylo was sucking her into this war.

"You should give up, I don't want or need to be saved," Ren sounded more annoyed.

"Your mind contradicts what you say, which leads me to think you're wrong." Rey shot back.

Ren was focusing on his hatred for her, and it was surprisingly weaker than she would have initially suspected. She wished she knew what drove his dislike of her, he was closely protecting his thoughts, much more than he had in their last meditation session.

They sat there for what seemed like hours, as the emotions of compassion and hate clashed in a violent war. The room was charged with such static, as the situation became volatile.

Rey was the first one to back down, and call her meditation to an end. Tomorrow she would continue her vendetta to save Kylo's soul.

Ren stood up and looked at Rey, she could feel his smoldering gaze from under his helmet. There was no way he was pleased about her meditation, but to her it was necessary. There was goodness in Kylo and she was going to draw it out.

"Today I will be teaching you how to use the Force to move objects. This is much more complicated than just simply feeling the Force. You must project the Force. Watch," he instructed.

Rey watched as he lifted the largest metal cylinder. It was twice the height of her, and its radius was twice her arm span, the cylinder must have weighed at least half a ton. He moved it through the air with such ease – Kylo's body remained fairly relaxed as if lifting the cylinder wasn't even a burden. He didn't move it far, but enough to make his point.

Kylo turned back to her, his helmet made it hard to gauge what he was thinking. "That will be the pinnacle of your training, when you can move that cylinder. Until you are more skilled you can move the smaller ones, but first we still start with this stick." Kylo pulled a very small wooden stick from his robes and tossed it across the room – it landed on the floor with a loud thud.

Rey gave him a disapproving glare. "You're making me play fetch, like a dog?"

"Exactly." She wasn't sure, but it sounded as if Kylo was holding back a chuckle. The helmet muffled a lot of emotion from his voice, but that was its purpose she assumed.

"I'll give it a try." She muttered with discontent.

Rey could feel the Force surrounding her so closely it was literally grazing her skin. Focusing on the Force around her, Rey extended her hand – and the Force jumped from her fingers on its own. The stick twitched on the ground like a fish out of water, but it didn't come closer to her.

"Your posture is all wrong," Kylo said critically. "Let me show you."

Ren took a few steps so he was standing directly behind her. "Straighten your back, and throw your shoulders out a little bit, it helps when you're learning."

Without hesitation she did exactly as she was told, her spine became straight as a pencil. She made sure her shoulders weren't slouched. That was when Rey felt his body against her own, he was leaning against her back a little. There was no way she wasn't blushing now, as Kylo grabbed her hand took it in his own. Rey didn't like it, back on Jakku when Finn had taken her hand to aid her in escaping, she'd been very annoyed. Currently Rey could feel disgust bubbling up within her, but she couldn't deny that Ren was very gentle with her hand as he positioned it toward their target.

"Before you were just outstretching your fingers, like you were casting a spell. The Force isn't magic, it is mental focus and power, now try anticipating the stick to land in your hand." He said patiently while his hand was still guiding hers.

Rey tried to focus her thoughts, but it was harder with Kylo's body pressed against her. Somehow she was able to push out the thought of him, and center her attention to the Force around her once again. She drew on the emotions Kylo had told her about, specifically compassion.

The stick twitched on the ground for only a few seconds before it jumped right into her palm. Rey clenched it in her fist like a trophy.

"It worked. It worked," she shouted with joy. Rey couldn't even suppress the happiness she was feeling. Physically her cheeks were hurting from the amount of smiling she was doing.

"I can't believe I actually did that." Rey turned around to face Kylo. "Thank you for your guidance, truly."

Ren was still grasping onto her hand, she swore for a second he tightened his grip a little, but it felt oddly affectionate before he let go. "You're welcome," he said smoothly. "You're a quick study for someone who didn't know they were Force-sensitive more than a few days ago."

Rey was absolutely shocked, she felt her jaw go ajar. Had Kylo just awarded her a compliment? Maybe she had just imagined such kind words leaving his mouth. Quickly, Rey closed her mouth so she didn't look like a gawking imbecile.

"Was that a compliment," Rey questioned with hesitation.

"It was, but don't let the power go to your head." He was half teasing her and half scolding her. Rey just smirked and nodded. Power was never something that went to her head, but she took his words as a good sign.

Religiously, Rey practiced throwing the stick and pulling it toward her. After a while she was able to stop it in mid air and bring it back to her. Already she seemed adept at this type of Force usage. By the end of their session it felt like second nature, almost as easy as breathing.

Kylo had remained silent after he instructed her on her posture – he must have simply been watching. It wasn't long until he ended their training for the day. Rey followed him as they left, locked up the training room and headed back to her cell.

As usual, Ren was very clandestine as they went through the halls. They avoided a patrol of Stormtroopers and one officer who almost spotted them.

"What's the need for such secrecy?" She asked as they finally approached the cell block. The shrieks of agony and pain filled the silence between them, as Kylo opened her cell door and turned to face her. "I thought you had some power in the First Order."

"I do have power in the First Order," he replied with his synthetic voice. "And I choose to keep you from General Hux's radar. That man wants you dead – he doesn't believe people who have the Force deserve to live. If things were his way, we would be eradicated for being different."

"You're protecting me from Hux then," she inquired.

Kylo remained silent. In that moment Rey desperately wished she could see his face – she wanted to read his expression – to know what he was thinking. Nothing in that moment mattered more than finding out the truth: was Kylo really protecting her or was this somehow for his selfish benefit. She was tempted to ask him to remove his mask, but she held her tongue.

"You can think what you wish, but I want the map." He said sharply.

Rey wasn't convinced Kylo actually meant it – from the sound of it Kylo was protecting her from General Hux. If he really wanted the map, Ren could have allowed General Hux to torture for the map, and ended their training. It wouldn't disadvantage him in any way. Obviously there was something more to this. For a second, Rey thought that maybe she meant more to Kylo than just a prisoner. But Rey shook the silly notion from her head.

"Tomorrow our training will be later, I have a meeting to attend," Kylo finally broke the silence with his announcement.

Rey nodded, and walked inside her cell. "I understand. Thank you, and have a goodnight, Ben." There was a sudden shift when she called him by his real name. She could feel how much he disliked being called Ben, it was a reminder that he belonged to something more than just the Dark Side. She was sure it reminded him of his family.

That was when the door closed and Rey was left by herself, with her own thoughts about Ben Solo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, thank you so much for reading this chapter. It means the world to me to have such wonderful followers like yourselves! If you have time, please leave a comment on how you think the chapter went or how the story is unfolding. Next chapter will be about Kylo's meeting with General Hux, so stay tuned.


	8. The Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Kylo Ren abducted Rey on Takodana, he had solely been seeking the map to Luke Skywalker from her. But once he felt Rey's connection to the Force, and learned of her ability to quell the war between dark and light within him – he knew there would be no letting her go so easily. Hopefully, she can see more than a monster in him. Rating will change. Slow burn Rey/Kylo

_He was running through tight hallways, the walls seemed to constrict the farther he ran. Blaster shots and screams of agony rang in his ears, reminding him that this was his doing. Snoke had convinced him to bring the Knights of Ren to Luke's Academy, with an offer to bring him peace and make him powerful. But this – this hadn't been Kylo's intended. The death and carnage was more than he had anticipated._

_The dead bodies of his fellow students littered the floor as he ran. Most of his fellow students had been too young to understand what was going on, they had been terrified. It had turned into a slaughter of children and Kylo had assisted in killing them._

_This was his fault, and there was no going back at this point. He couldn't bring the other students back to life – there was no repentance or redemption for his crime. He had to commit himself to the darkness now, there was no turning back._

_The hallway widened again to show an open field – and rain began to pour down. Kylo could feel the water caressing his skin as the drops slide down his face. The area around him was as black as ink, until a bright green saber ignited the darkness._

_Kylo felt a Force pull that flung him forward and caused his face to hit the ground. Mud splatter in his face and he tried to wipe it out. Quickly, Ren scrambled to his feet to see Luke standing in front of him. The green from his saber illuminated Luke's features. His old master's eyes were colder than ice; his face had aged considerably as wrinkles had appeared under his eyes, and gray was peppered more around his beard and through his hair. The robes he wore were tattered and burned, probably from killing the other Knights of Ren._

_"This is your doing, Ben. You will pay greatly for this," Luke hissed._

_That was when Kylo felt Luke's lightsaber pierce through his chest. Heat burned in his body, and he felt the agony of his organs being vaporized, and turned to ashes. He could hardly think as he watched the blade leave him._

* * *

 

Kylo's heart was thundering in his chest like a drum when he awoke. Sweat dripped down his face as he tried to catch his breath. Frantically, he pushed sweat-soaked hair from his eyes and away from his face.

It had been months since a dream like that had surfaced. He thought he left the guilt behind. But since he had started training with Rey, something was stirring in him. Rey's comments about giving up his hatred and seek forgiveness had left him shaken.

Their pain was similar, she had said to him – she had forgiven her parents for leaving her. If she could forgive them, he should be more than capable of forgiving his father, she had told him. But without his hate he was nothing, there would be no place for him on the Dark Side, and the Light Side was beyond his grasp now. He had committed too many foul deeds to go back.

Yet, Rey seemed to have an odd, unshakable faith in him – she was under some illusion he was good – that he was capable of forgiveness. But that wasn't true, there was no forgiveness in him or for him. There was only anger and hate, that's all that was left.

Yesterday she meditated about how his soul was not too far gone, but his soul was. He had cut too many life's short, and caused others too much pain for him to be spared. But his old life, his old self was gone.

When Rey had called him Ben, it had been so nostalgic, no one had called him Ben in years. He didn't particularly like being called by his previous name – it reminded him of his time as a child and at Luke's Academy. Kylo had erased Ben Solo from his life – he'd been too weak back then. Foolish in believing that Luke could help him control his rage. Foolish when he thought his parents sent him away for his own good and not theirs. Ben Solo was buried under the rubble of the destroyed Jedi Academy, and Kylo wasn't certain if Ben could be revived.

Kylo had only told Rey his previous name because she had been right before when they had ate together – he had seen in her mind and learned about her – and now he felt obligated to reciprocate. If anything his mother had always taught him to stick to his obligations otherwise he was no better than a scoundrel – no better than his father. If only that girl never asked questions, he could be saving himself a lot of hardship. If he hadn't agreed to train her either, his life would be a little easier. But he couldn't go back on their deal now, it was too late for that.

If only he could figure out the secret to the peace she brought him, or turn her to the Dark Side. Then all his problems would be solved, but neither seemed likely. Rey seemed too pure for the Dark Side, she had so much sorrow under her beautifully tan skin, yet she refused to turn it into hate. There was no denying she would make a very powerful Jedi, no matter what side she chose. Her connection to the Force was unparalleled, sometimes he feared her connection was more powerful than his. When Kylo had been a student, he had worked so hard to learn new abilities and to master his skills. Often times he became frustrated with his lacking skill. For Rey though, everything seemed natural to her, the Force flowed from her with such grace.

Kylo refused to admit it, but secretly, he enjoyed training Rey. She was a good student, and excited about learning. Yesterday when she had learned how to pull objects to herself, she had been jumping for joy. Her excitement had been so intoxicating – it had been impossible for him to shut it out.

But no matter how much he enjoyed training her, one day he would have to ask for the map. And that would be the end of their training – and the end of their partnership. Deep down, Kylo wasn't sure how he felt about that, at least not yet.

Kylo had informed Rey he would be training her later in the day. There was a strategy meeting hosted by General Hux, and he was required to attend. After General Hux had destroyed the Bothan system – the system where the Resistance traded and got supplies – the Council was plotting their next strike. It would probably be the destruction of the Resistance bases in the Ileenium system.

Kylo finished putting on his helmet and his robes – for extra intimidation Ren put his hood on. He attached his saber to his belt, just in case he needed to inflict more fear in the officers.

Without hesitation, Kylo headed to the war room. The sound of his boots against the floor resonated down the hallway, as he passed patrols of Stormtroopers. The war room was in part of the control unit on the base, it was such a far distance from his quarters.

As usual, he was late to the meeting, but it didn't matter, very little of the material actually needed his approval or input. It was just a formality that he was invited to the meetings. If the Council decided to attack the Ileenium system he wasn't going to stop it. They might call him a Resistance sympathizer if he spoke out, his mother was the General of the Resistance after all.

Ren took his seat at the circular table, his chair was traditionally directly across from General Hux. The other officers always gave Kylo terrified looks when he entered the room, they were always so anxious around him. He suspected it had something to do with him choking many of them nearly to death.

General Hux was in front of the Council spewing the same bullshit as usual – the Resistance were usurpers, the First Order were the true rulers of the universe. Personally, his favorite part was where Hux got so upset he started yelling and almost spitting all over the table. Kylo sat and watched the pompous ass blab away.

It wasn't long until his thought drifted away from the meeting and to Rey. He wasn't sure what to do anymore, he didn't believe he could get peace from her without being in her presence. And when it came to turning her to the Dark Side, that seemed improbable. Her refusal to focus her anger was proving permanent.

Instead of listening, Ren planned on what he would teach Rey today. Yesterday Rey had practiced more with Force manipulation, moving objects and pulling them toward her. He considered teaching her how to push objects, or maybe he would instruct her on mind tricks.

"Kylo Ren, don't you agree?" Kylo was called from his own thoughts by General Hux. The red-head was smirking at him – he had known Ren hadn't been paying attention. Kylo looked around at the rest of the officers, he searched for clues in their expressions, but their faces were as straight as a poker player. He couldn't even guess what they had been talking about.

"Of course." He replied without hesitation. There was no way to know what he agreed to, but he doubted it mattered. But there was no way he would allow Hux to make a fool out of him in front of the Council.

"Since Kylo Ren has agreed to the future destruction of the Ileenium system, we can adjourn this meeting." General Hux called to order. "The next meeting will be at the same time in four days from now."

Kylo stood up, and was about to leave with the other officers, before General Hux stepped in front of him. Regally, Hux put his hands behind his back and straightened his composure. That was never a good sign, Ren had known the General long enough to draw that conclusion. There was a deviant look in his gaze, and Kylo felt his stomach churn.

"Do you have the map yet?" Hux questioned, he seemed to already know the answer. The condescension dripped from his words, and it bothered Ren to no end.

"No," Kylo said smoothly. "Not yet, I'm close though." He wasn't lying, everyday he trained Rey he was closer to asking for the map.

"Really? My patrols have reported the interrogation rooms have been empty the last few days, and they haven't heard any torturous screams in that corridor lately."

Ren refused to be intimidated by this lousy excuse for a General. "I'm doing the torturing my way, she's harder to break than the others."

"She's harder to break? What, because she's one of your kind," General Hux hissed. "Do you pity her, or are you afraid to harm her because she reminds you so much of yourself? Wait, or is it because she's a girl?" The way he phrased that seemed suggestive to Kylo, and it disgusted him. "Don't let this girl get to you, otherwise I'll be forced to tell the Supreme Leader."

The General was all about protocol, but he wasn't shy about blackmailing his rivals. Kylo was not going to allow Hux to puppeteer him – never would he lose his free will to a man as weak as the General. The only valid option Kylo could see was to intimidate Hux.

"Are you insinuating I'm going soft on her because she is Force-sensitive or a girl?" He kept his voice level, but very cold.

"I'm not insinuating anything, other than you're allowing this mission for the map to get personal. We know you want to destroy Skywalker," Hux was trying to cover his tracks. Kylo straightened himself a little more – so he towered over the General like a giant.

"It sounded like you were calling me weak." Kylo said with a steady tone, yet he remained brusque. "Do you remember what happened to the last officer that even hinted I was weak?"

One of the officers a few months ago had called Ren a Resistance sympathizer, for suggesting they should use a barricade to cut off the Resistance supplies and starve them out, instead of attacking them head on. Kylo had ripped his intestines out using a Force pull. It had left a bloody mess all over the Council chambers, but it had left a strong message – he was not to be trifled with.

That's when General Hux became a little fearful – Kylo could feel the terror rolling off him now. "I'm not saying you're weak. Let me get the map from her. I've learned some very interesting techniques to get people to talk." His offer was a pathetic way to try and redeem himself.

"I can do this on my own." Kylo said impudently. "I don't need your help."

Hux would flay Rey, Kylo knew this. The General was a sadistic, twisted man who enjoyed watching his enemies suffer. He would drag out torturing her, Kylo had seen his work first hand, and it was sickening. It always started with making an incision and then he would cut deeper and deeper until he hit bone. Then he would very neatly peel back their skin until they couldn't take the pain anymore. Just the thought nearly made Kylo shudder.

"You sound very protective of her, considering she's our prisoner," Hux stated observantly.

Kylo restrained himself from choking Hux. "The Supreme Leader said he wants the girl intact. I know your methods would leave her incapacitated for a very long time. This has nothing to do with protecting her – it has everything to do with following the Supreme Leader to the letter," he countered.

"The Supreme Leader wouldn't care if this girl was dead, I'm sure of it," General Hux retorted.

"I'm not going to take the chance of upsetting the Supreme Leader. If you want to take that chance, be my guest." Kylo said harshly. "I found her on Takodana and I will do my own investigation, my way."

General Hux remained silent – instead he was staring at Kylo with an incisive gaze. He was searching for weakness, maybe signs of fondness, but it was all for naught. The mask hid Kylo's emotions perfectly. Hux's eyes raked over him many times before the General turned his back and regally started to walk out of the room. Kylo felt himself relax as Hux began to leave.

The General stopped in the door momentarily, he turned around to shoot Kylo one last suspicious glare. "Don't fail us Kylo Ren," he said before he left.

"I don't plan on it," Kylo muttered under his breath, but his response was too late to be heard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, thank you so much for taking the time to read this chapter. If you could leave a review with your thoughts about the chapter or the story, that would be so wonderful. Next chapter will be from Rey's perspective, so stay tune! Again, thank you for taking the time to read this chapter! :)


	9. Closer to the Dark Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Kylo Ren abducted Rey on Takodana, he had solely been seeking the map to Luke Skywalker from her. But once he felt Rey's connection to the Force, and learned of her ability to quell the war between dark and light within him – he knew there would be no letting her go so easily. Hopefully, she can see more than a monster in him. Rated E as of chapter 18. Slow burn Reylo

Rey carved her fourth scratch into the wall with her nails, counting always made her feel as if time wasn't escaping. It was about to be her third day of training with Kylo on this hell-hole of a base. She had to admit, this wasn't the worse situation she could be in. At least she had clothes, a regular meal, and she didn't have to work her ass off for scraps. Then there was the fact that she wasn't being tortured and she was actually getting trained by a person skilled in the Force. It wasn't fun being a prisoner and having her free will being removed, but then again, this made her realize her life on Jakku had been nothing short of slavery.

She missed the sun, warm winds and sand back on Jakku. But nothing even compared to the small time she spent on Takodana – the water and greenery had taken her breath away. Never before had she ever smelled such sweet breezes and felt so comfortable in the sun.

It had revolutionized her idea of where she would travel once she was done training and the First Order was destroyed. There was no doubt in her mind that Naboo would be the first place she would go. She had read about the crystal lakes, sandy beaches, gorgeous fields and meadows of Naboo – and now she wanted to see them. But it was only a dream so far, first she needed to get off this base and bring Luke back into the fold. Then there was the First Order that needed to be destroyed before she felt the Galaxy was safe enough to travel in. There was no way to know how long that would take.

Everyday she thought about Jakku and her family, but everyday the idea of returning to her home planet became bleaker and bleaker. Maz had been right, he family was never returning to Jakku, Rey had known for a while – she would need to seek them out herself. Waiting for them wasn't the answer.

Rey spent all her morning meditating, and it helped to calm her. Thinking about her family always worked her up and made light amounts of pain surface – and Kylo had told her pain could turn into hate. There was no way she could allow hate to linger, that would bring her closer to the Dark Side. She focused on meditating to forget her pain.

It was late afternoon when Kylo Ren appeared for their training. The door opened with a hiss and it disrupted her meditation. Rey looked up to see Kylo looming over her. He had his hood up, which cast a dark shadow over his already ebony helmet. This time he roughly grabbed her arm and pulled her up.

"Get your hands off me," Rey roared. Angrily, she tried to shake his grip from her, but it was futile. Kylo was not going to let her go.

"We are leaving, now." Kylo said harshly. This time Kylo had a Stormtrooper entourage with him, as he dragged Rey down the hallway. Viciously, Rey tried to fight him, she tried throwing herself on the floor like a temperamental child. Her acting as a dead weight did nothing, Kylo kept dragging her as he went – he was much stronger than she initially believed.

Rey watched in horror as they passed the training room and were instead going straight to the interrogation block. He was going to ask for the map now, that heartless bastard had trained her two days and was already going to demand her only valuable secret. Rey fought him again with a new vigor – this time she tried biting his gloved hand, but that was to no avail either.

Finally they reached the interrogation cell she had previously been in. "Stay by the door." Kylo commanded to the Stormtroopers. Halfheartedly, Kylo shoved Rey into the interrogation room, and the door closed behind him.

Rey was about to spring on him, but Kylo stuck out his hand and froze her body in place. There was a hostile expression planted on Rey's face as he kept her stuck.

"Calm yourself." Kylo's synthetic voice hissed. "General Hux has noted I've not been bringing you to the interrogation rooms. He thinks I'm going soft on you because you're Force-sensitive or – a girl." There was a distinct way he said girl, as if he was choking on the word. "I can't have anyone thinking that I'm giving special treatment, otherwise Captain Phasma and all the female officers might get ideas."

Rey felt herself fighting his Force paralysis. Angrily, she started to move her fingers and her wrist twisted slightly. "You are still going to take the map from me now, aren't you?"

Kylo strutted around her – she could feel how focused he was on containing her in her current position. "I will be asking for the map but not yet."

Waves of relief washed over Rey like warm, soothing water. She knew the map was valuable, and that asset was the only reason she still lived. But it also remained the one reason she was here, and not dead. If she hadn't seen the map, Kylo would have killed her back on Takodana. The map was proving to be her blessing and her bane.

"You still didn't have to be so rough." She retorted. It would be a lie if she didn't say her arm was still sore from his unceremonious treatment of her.

"You're my prisoner, I can't be too kind to you, and definitely not in front of the Stormtroopers."

"You can be kind to whomever you choose," Rey countered quickly.

What sounded like a dark, sadistic chuckle resonated from under his mask. "Do you think I got where I am by being nice? I don't have that luxury, kindness is a weakness. In time you'll discover that too."

Rey narrowed her eyes at him. Kindness was often the answer in her case. Being rude and cruel never got her anywhere in life, except a few punches swung at her. The people on Jakku had been callous and often times savage. The more humble and independent she had become, the more Rey had gotten accomplished.

"Today I was going to teach you how to push objects using the Force. But I don't think you'll need instruction. I sense you have great talent, you just need to become skilled at focusing your emotions." There was a momentary pause as Kylo stopped in front of her.

"I sense anger in you," Kylo muttered, softly. "You are upset with me."

"I'm not angry with you," she said between gritted teeth. It was more annoyance than anything. She was a prisoner in his custody, but he needn't treat her like a possession to be dragged around and manhandled.

Ren started to pace around her. "You're vexed with me, you feel you've been mistreated. As my student, you should draw from that aggression."

"Never," Rey hissed. "I will never use anger to my advantage."

There was a slight pause before Kylo spoke again. "Was it easy for you – when your family left you behind? I'm sure it was easy for them, they left you on Jakku and didn't even look back."

Rey felt her skin crawl as he used her memories as ammunition against her.

"Stop," she asked with venom in her voice.

"And your friend, FN– I mean Finn. It seemed like a simple decision for him to leave you behind as well. Not a drop of loyalty in that blood of his, and he didn't even look back when he left you either."

"Stop it." Rey tried to cease her blood from boiling. Again, she focused on her thoughts of compassion and forgiveness, but she could not shut out what Ren was saying.

"What about Han Solo, he didn't even come looking for you back on Takodana. He didn't care about some scavenger girl he picked up on his ship, he allowed you to be taken by me. You were just a liability to him anyways." Kylo leaned in closer to her, as if to emphasize what he was about to say. "Maybe you're just so used to being disappointed, you're immune to it now."

The way Kylo phrased it was despicable, and something in Rey snapped.

"Stop it," Rey screamed. Instantly she broke free from his paralytic Force technique. Her rage took over, and involuntarily she outstretched her hand. She could feel the Force pulsing from her palm as a shock wave was sent flying toward Kylo Ren.

In horror, Rey watched as Kylo was launched off his feet, almost like a rag doll; he was sent backward. Ren's back slammed against the interrogation room door. The anger that had once surged through her body was drained at the sight of Kylo clashing to the ground.

"I'm so sorry," Rey rushed over to help him. There was no excuse, she'd lost her temper and allowed his words to get under her skin. That had been his intention – Rey knew that, but she had fell right into his trap.

Without hesitation, Kylo got to his feet and stood up straight. Rey nearly bumped into him, she hadn't expected him to recover so quickly and she'd planned to help him up. Instead, he was looming over her and Rey felt fear creep into her body. There was a large amount of tension in his shoulders – she could even see it beneath his black robes. Rey saw his hand jut out and grasp her throat. Kylo's grip was like a snake constricting its prey.

"I'm sorry, please." Rey begged between tiny gasps of air. "I should have had better control of my emotions."

Terror set in as her vision started to blacken around the edges. There was a harsh realization that Kylo Ren might actually choke her to death – and with that came the harsh realization that she had caused her own demise. She had harmed the only man that was strong enough to destroy her.

"Please, Kylo." Rey gave one last conscious effort to appeal to Ren.

Her head started to spin, and the darkness around the edge of her vision began to close in. It wasn't until then did Kylo let her go of her throat.

There was nothing to stop her from falling to the floor as her feet gave way. Rey laid there for a second coughing and catching her breath. Then she looked up at Kylo's monstrous form, he hadn't moved. Kylo was hovering over her still, she couldn't imagine what he was thinking now. Maybe he was planning on all the exciting ways to finish her off. Rey looked back at the ground – his dusky helmet was making her stomach churn.

"I think our training today is complete," Kylo's robotic voice replied.

Rey couldn't agree more, even though very little had been accomplished. There was no other way to describe it – Rey was sickened by her own behavior. All morning she'd been meditating and it had all been for naught. In seconds she had allowed her anger to take over. Yes, Kylo had been trying to insult her and get under her skin, but she had known that. Yet still she'd fallen into his trap – he was trying to bring her closer to the Dark Side, and today he had succeeded.

Kylo pulled Rey to her feet, and again he escorted her out of the interrogation chamber. Her legs were like lead bricks as they walked down the halls. She felt tired and bested by Kylo – after all he'd coaxed her into allowing her anger to take over. The patrol of Stormtroopers followed them all they way to the prisoners block before Kylo Ren dismissed them. As usually, he brought her to cell 110, input the security code and shoved her in.

"I've missed my meal," Rey announced to him with a disheartened sigh. She only got one meal a day and since their training had been later Rey knew she had missed it.

"I guess you'll just have to go hungry, such a pity." Kylo said, his tone sounded sadistic.

Rey looked up at him with disgust in her eyes – now he was just being unnecessarily cruel to her. She may have attacked him, but that was the response Kylo had been trying to elicit from her. Ren had wanted her to retaliate. This was a much her fault as his, but she would be the one paying the price.

"Fine," she said coldly. To be honest, she wasn't hungry, if anything she was tired. Rey instantly went to her bed and laid down – purposely she left her back turned to him, staring at the wall was more pleasing than looking at his grotesque mask anyways. She heard the door close behind her, and Rey couldn't have been more pleased to be alone. All she could think of was what had happened, how she had allowed herself to lose control.

Was this how Kylo had turned to the Dark Side, Rey wondered. Did those feelings of abandonment, betrayal and neglect always plague him? Rey had become very adept at shutting those bad moments out. She always tried to look at things in a positive light – but if Kylo wasn't capable of that, she had experienced first hand how those emotions had turned him sour. If this was the pain Ren dealt with on a daily basis, Rey wasn't sure how he got by day to day.

She promised herself from now on she would control her emotions, she would bottle up her anger and put it on a shelf out of her reach. How could she be of any help if she allowed her anger to get out of hand? Kylo had used the past against her, but now she would never let it happen again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, thank you so much for reading the chapter, and for all the wonderful support. I feel very blessed to have such wonderful followers such as yourselves. If you have time, feel free to leave a review with your thoughts as to how you think the chapter went or how the story is progressing. Next chapter will be from Kylo's perspective and it will be very interesting, I promise you, you won't want to miss it. Again, thank you so much and have a wonderful weekend! :)


	10. Old Friendships and Rivalries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Kylo Ren abducted Rey on Takodana, he had solely been seeking the map to Luke Skywalker from her. But once he felt Rey's connection to the Force, and learned of her ability to quell the war between dark and light within him – he knew there would be no letting her go so easily. Hopefully, she can see more than a monster in him. Rated M as of chapter 18. Slow burn Rey/Kylo

Unceasingly, Kylo beat his saber against the walls outside the prisoners' block. Sparks and shards of molten metal were sent flying all over the place. With all the might in his body he struck the walls repeatedly, until his arms were shaking from overuse. Things weren't going as Kylo had foreseen. He hadn't even left the cell block before his buried rage had taken over once again. He had almost lost control and killed Rey – and that would've ended his journey to find Skywalker.

Ren stood there for a few seconds catching his breath and listening to the rhythmic crackling of his unstable lightsaber. Finally he put his blade away and leaned against the wall. His saber had scarred the wall and he could feel the leftover heat soaking through his glove and straight into his hand, but he ignored it. His thoughts were so tied up in what had transpired between him and Rey.

Earlier that day he had been protecting her from Hux's scheme to torture her. Ironically now it seemed that Rey needed protection from him. Things had turned ugly, and it was his doing. His intention had been to coax the anger out of Rey – he'd been trying to bring her closer to the Dark Side. There was no doubt about it, Rey had tasted the power of the darkness – and Ren thought he would've been satisfied with his accomplishment of making Rey attuned to her internal anger. Instead he felt compunctious about the whole affair; it had been like watching a spring flower wither in an ice storm. Rey's connection to the Force had been so pure and he'd witnessed it become tainted.

When Kylo even thought of his own reactions in the situation, he was sickened. He knew he'd acted rashly and allowed his own rage to take over. It had been a very long time since someone had physically hurt him and he'd lost control. He'd always been good at defending himself and physical pain was something that he had nearly forgotten. On the contrary, everyday he struggled with internal pain and suffering rather than anything truly physical.

Kylo realized that Rey's actions had been his doing; she'd snapped because of his cruel words. If anyone on this ship had said insults of that magnitude to him, he would have killed them without question. Deep down, Kylo knew he'd stopped choking her because in some sense he'd pardoned Rey. Her reaction had been from his catalytic provocations; she'd snapped because of his verbal assault. When Rey had begged him to stop choking her, he'd finally ceased. Ren had been able to reign in his anger, which was surprisingly rare. It has been the panic in Rey's eyes that had brought him from his hateful trance.

When Kylo had seen Rey suffering – and he couldn't forget as the light started slipping from her hazel eyes – Kylo realized he needed to stop. Witnessing Rey nearly die by his hand had stirred a certain gratuitous anxiety in him. Ren had killed hundreds of people, mostly people who were his enemies, he'd even killed a few fellow apprentices at Luke's Academy. Most of those deaths he felt no remorse for. But now Kylo wasn't sure if he felt upset because he'd nearly cheated himself out of the map, or if watching Rey suffer had truly stricken fear in him.

Now that Rey still lived, Kylo feared he was walking closer to the Light Side. He had forsaken his anger to keep Rey alive because she didn't deserve to befall such a fate. Kylo knew forgiveness and mercy were in the realm of the Light Side and he was treading dangerously close.

Kylo was dragged from his thoughts when a patrol of Stormtroopers came strolling in with Captain Phasma. Unlike most troopers, Captain Phasma was a tall, broad shouldered woman who wore a metallic suit of armor to differentiate herself from the other officers.

"Is everything all right, Lord Ren?" Captain Phasma asked in her usually formal and stony voice as her patrol approached. She had her blaster at the ready, as if some enemy was lurking about.

"Everything is fine, now call maintenance and have them fix this mess." Kylo said contemptuously.

He had to escape – to escape the madness he was falling into. Ren stormed off toward his chambers so he was not subjected to a questioning from Captain Phasma. There was nothing more Kylo wanted than some space, he needed to meditate – to clear his mind of clutter.

This evening Supreme Leader Snoke would be demanding his presence. His master would want the map, or at the least a good reason why he didn't have the map yet.

Meditating became that much more crucial. If Ren left his mind an emotional, confused clutter his master would see his emotions as if he was wearing them on his sleeve. It was essential that he composed himself before this meeting. Kylo could not afford for Snoke to know about his connections with Rey. It would be considered treasonous for Kylo to take an apprentice. And Ren could not stop training Rey – he had an oath to fulfill.

* * *

The room was as cold as the stone that surrounded Kylo. He was in the Supreme Leader's throne room awaiting his master's report. The traditional beam of light streamed down from the ceiling like water from a waterfall; it ambitiously lit most of the room. But the light did not provide the room with any form of comfort or warmth.

He had been patiently waiting for his master to grace Kylo with his presence. But Kylo was growing weary of waiting – Ren was not known for his ability to be patient. Not after he'd skipped eating to meditate and clear his mind – it had been critical he be prepared emotionally for this meeting.

Finally the hologram appeared and as usually Supreme Leader Snoke was seated regally in his chair. Kylo always wondered where his master was hiding, but he never dared to ask.

"Do you have the map, Lord Ren?" His master asked impatiently.

Heat rose in Kylo's cheeks, the very scathing look on his master's face was hard to tolerate. Ren was pleased his mask was still on because his helmet hid the shame his cheeks were betraying.

"I do not. Instead I'm attempting to draw her to the Dark Side – I have felt the anger in her first hand."

Kylo watched as his master rubbed his chin – he was contemplating Ren's statement with impeccable care. Finally Snoke looked down at him with an approving expression on his face, "That is good, if you succeed we will have the map as well as a new ally. Find her weaknesses and exploit them, twist her feelings toward anger and hate."

"I have done as you just instructed. I'm using her pain to my advantage – to push her closer to the Dark Side, but she is harder to break than I anticipated. I fear I've used all my ammunition already. I seek your guidance, Master."

"Keep looking for pain and turn it into hate. If you cannot turn her, send her to me, and I will take care of her," Snoke said cynically.

Kylo shuddered, the way his master phrased it perturbed him. The Supreme Leader would kill Rey for sure if she didn't turn to the Dark Side. Rey was very powerful, and he would hate if her power went to waste. But if Rey did turn to the Dark Side, she would become Ren's competition and his master might replace him with her.

He couldn't lie, often times Ren feared Snoke was looking to dispose of him. That his apprenticeship with the Supreme Leader was his master settling for what he could find. Rey's connection to the Force was unparalleled to any one Ren had ever seen. When he'd attended Luke's Academy, Kylo certainly had been the most skilled Jedi there. His skills surpassed all the apprentices – Luke's skills were the only that bested his own. Luke had confessed to Kylo that his connection to the Force had been inherited. His power stemmed from the Skywalker blood that ran through his veins. Darth Vader had wiped out the majority of the Jedi, so most of his fellow students didn't have strong connections to the Force.

Ren had assumed it before, but after today's events things had become more clear – Rey must have parents that were strong with the Force. Him and Rey were one in the same, they had both been handed the Force – yet Rey's connection was fiercer than his.

"I feel fear in you, Lord Ren," the Supreme Leader broke him from his thoughts.

"Yes, Master. She is powerful – and I fear her connection to the Force is stronger than mine," Kylo admitted almost in shame.

There was a very prudent look on the Supreme Leader's face before he spoke, as if his master was debating how much to tell him. "If that is true, then she is who I believed."

Ren could hardly hold back his curiosity. From the beginning Kylo had been intrigued by this scavenger girl who possessed a bond with the Force. But if the Supreme Leader knew of her true origins, he could not resist to ask.

"Who is she, Master?" Ren scolded himself for sounding too enticed by the Supreme Leader's knowledge.

"She is Obi-Wan Kenobi's granddaughter – that is my current belief." His master concluded with certainty.

Kylo felt speechless for a second. His mother had told him all about Ben Kenobi and how the old Jedi had saved her life. Kenobi had sent Luke and Han Solo to rescue her from the Death Star, and that was where she had gotten the inspiration to name him Ben. Ren also knew that Obi-Wan had been his grandfather's master, before his grandfather had accepted the mantle of Darth Vader. It was almost ironic that Obi-Wan's granddaughter was now Ren's student. Fate had a twisted way of bringing together old friendships and rivalries.

" _The_ Obi-Wan Kenobi, as in my grandfather's archenemy?" He asked shocked.

"Yes, Obi-Wan had a son during his time in hiding, after Order 66 was executed. Kenobi then trained the boy in the ways of the Force. I spent years hunting Anakin Kenobi across the galaxy. My search only increased when I heard rumors that he'd had a daughter." He master leaned back as he continued his story.

"Eventually I found Anakin Kenobi and killed him myself, but he'd hid his daughter from my clutches. I never found the girl, but it seems you have succeeded where I failed, my apprentice."

For once Kylo felt like his master was actually praising him. "Only by the grace of your teaching have I found her, Master."

"I hope unveiling the girls history has given you more to work from. Report to me soon with your progress, my apprentice."

Kylo gave a small nod of acceptance, but deep down he felt no consolation in knowing the truth. He wasn't sure he could use his master's knowledge to bring Rey closer to the Dark Side. Snoke had killed Rey's father and that could never be of any usefulness to him. If anything, telling Rey the truth would set her against the First Order forever – against him forever. The truth sat heavy upon his heart, but Ren brought himself out of his own thought.

"Of course, Supreme Leader." Kylo turned around as he prepared for the hologram to disappear. But to Ren's surprise Snoke let out an eerie warning before he ended his call.

"And Kylo, don't allow the girl to distract you from your true purpose." The transmission came to a close and Kylo Ren was left with the truth – a truth he wasn't certain he could keep hidden away forever.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I just want to apologize for the late update. I was crazy busy this week after getting back, but I really hope this chapter was still up to standard. Please let me know what you guess thought! I really enjoyed the feedback from the last few chapters, and I could really use some more. I've noticed a lot of people are unfollowing the story so I could really use people's honest opinions. A special thanks to all you wonderful reviewers! Thank you all you lovely readers, have an amazing weekend! :)


	11. Growth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Kylo Ren abducted Rey on Takodana, he had solely been seeking the map to Luke Skywalker from her. But once he felt Rey's connection to the Force, and learned of her ability to quell the war between dark and light within him – he knew there would be no letting her go so easily. Hopefully, she can see more than a monster in him. Rated M as of chapter 18. Slow burn Rey/Kylo

Tucked under her thin blanket was where Rey remained. It had been a long night filled with dreams that'd revisited her vision back on Takodana. When she had touched that old saber, she had been anointed visions of the future, or maybe the past. There was no way for her to be certain, but they had revisited her in her dream.

The part that haunted her the most was seeing Kylo Ren amidst a downpour, surrounded by those six other warriors. They had all looked so dangerous and destructive – as if they were ready to annihilate the whole Resistance. And that vision had shook Rey to her core. Just seeing that again had sucked the life out of her – almost like the events of yesterday.

After yesterday all she could think about was how wicked Kylo Ren was. She had thought him a redeemable person before, and she had felt the light in him and thought there was a chance to save him. But now, she wasn't certain how she felt about saving him, or if he could be saved. Maybe it had been her own optimistic personality hoping he was a good person.

But he had nearly killed her, and she wanted nothing to do with him. She's decided that she wasn't going to be overly cooperative or kind to Kylo Ren anymore. He There was no need for it, instead she would just learn what she could and bide her time until he asked for that map. In all honesty, she didn't want to train her skills anymore with him. She didn't want to be in his dark presence anymore. And most of all she didn't want to look at his ebony mask ever again. All she wanted was to listlessly lay in her prison cell and wish reality away.

Rey knew she needed to get up soon, Ren would be here to escort her to training – and she wanted to have a clear mind for when he arrived. She couldn't allow her anger take over again like yesterday, otherwise there was no guarantee she would still be standing after today.

Finally, Rey pulled herself out of bed and sat on the metal floor. It was uncomfortable no matter where she was in this cell, but then again the confines of her prison were restricting her from any state other than insanity. Rey looked at her somewhat distorted reflection on the metallic wall. For a few days she'd been too afraid to look at herself and now she understood why. Her cheeks and skin were a paler tint than usual – they had lost their lively, rosy quality. Rey also noticed her face was a bit thinner and dark circles had formed under her eyes. In her dull reflection she could even see the light red marks that had surfaced on her neck. Ultimately, Rey looked like more of a wreck than she previously thought.

She ran her hand over her hair and unfortunately she could feel the oiliness that had built. The last time she'd enjoyed a shower was when she'd arrived here, but Rey doubted she would get that divine treatment again.

Disappointedly, Rey looked away from her reflection. There was nothing she could do to improve her looks in this condition. The only thing she could do here was improve her Force skills, or her physical endurance. If there was any hope of escaping she needed to be in pristine shape.

Rey decided to try her luck at meditating, if she focused hard enough maybe her stomach would stop screaming for food. After missing yesterday's meal, Rey could feel hunger pains setting in, but she was determined to conquer them.

All morning Rey tried to forgive Kylo Ren for almost killing her. Yet no matter how much she meditated on the idea, she just couldn't bring herself to pardon him. She wasn't sure if she really even wanted to pardon him. Instead, she spent the time trying to clear her mind – like how the old Jedi teachings instructed. Rey was pleased she was able to accomplish that with relative ease, as she blocked out everything but the Force that surrounded her.

Things had been peaceful and remained quiet most of the morning, until Rey felt a sudden shift in the Force. To her dismay, Rey could feel a dark presence closing in, she was certain it was Kylo Ren. Rey heard the door open with a loud hiss, and unceremoniously her concentration was broken as Ren invited himself into her cell. The sound of his boots made a familiar and distinctive clicking with the ground as he entered. There was a cold aura between them as Rey shot him a scathing look. If stares could kill, she was certain hers would have scorched Kylo where he stood. She was surprised he made no acknowledgement of her piercing glares.

Ren was adorned in his usual black robes, boots and mask. His statue was rigid and confident as he stood in the doorway. His arrogant stance annoyed her, but she didn't let it show.

When she looked at him and all she could think was how much of a monster he was – a monster who hid behind his mask. Rey tried to bring herself back to her meditation and ignore the fact that he'd arrived.

_You think I'm a monster, interesting. Well you really should protect your thoughts, I was under the impression you had a strong mental focus._

That's when Rey jumped to her feet in surprise – his voice was resonating in her skull. He was in her mind, pillaging through her thoughts. Instantly, her eyes dug into him like knives and she nonchalantly paced over to stand in front of him. As usual, Kylo loomed over her and she was forced to look upward and into his ebony mask. There was a lack of emotion in his mask that always annoyed and unnerved her – it was a way to disconnect himself from everyone else.

_Stay out of my head_ , she hissed back at him in the confines of her mind. Within that moment Rey took charge of her thoughts, and she could feel her mental focus coming back to her. There was no way she could allow her anger from yesterday to weaken her. Like before when they had meditated in their first session – she could feel Ren clawing at the outside of her mind. He was trying to work his way into her thoughts and read her, but now she was closed off to him. There was a heavy silence between them as they were trapped in a glaring battle. Rey couldn't see his eyes, but she knew he was frustrated.

"So are you here to finish the job?" Rey said with venom in her voice. Without hesitation, she flashed forth the red marks on her neck that Kylo himself had inflicted. There was a moment where Rey could have sworn Ren flinched. His shoulders and frame had sunk slightly at the sight of the ghostly afflictions, but he straightened himself once again in a flash.

"If I wanted to kill you, I would have done it by now." His voice remained steady and his posture was upright once more. "Are you ready to continue our training?"

Rey paused momentarily and mulled it over. What she wanted in an ideal world was to be away from Kylo Ren, but in reality she wasn't going to be that fortunate. Either she could continue the training or she could be subjected to physical torture – for her it was becoming a very blurry choice.

"I'll continue the training," she mumbled reluctantly.

"Good," he responded promptly. "Follow me."

Against her desires, Rey trailed Kylo as they left her cell. They went down familiar hallways and Rey followed him closely as they passed the training room. Kylo stopped her a few times as Stormtrooper patrols passed; the patrols looked very alert, as if they had been order to look for something. Slowly but surely they made it to the interrogation cell block where Rey thought they would be stopping, but to her surprise they continued passed the room she'd been questioned in.

Nervously, Rey continued trailing Kylo – she wondered where this dark lord was taking her. It wasn't long until they reached more familiar territory. Rey recognized this hallway faintly, if memory served her right they were approaching Ren's personal quarters. But why would Kylo take her here? The question was itching in the back of her mind, but the more she thought about it the more anxious she became.

They abruptly came to a halt directly in front of the entrance to his chambers. Instead of opening his chambers up, the dark lord turned around to face her. Rey felt a small prickling in her stomach as his mask focused on her. Kylo pushed his way passed her, for there was a large metal door across from his room. Intently, Rey watched Ren open the door and what was unveiled to her was shocking.

Rey blinked a few times as she was exposed to a large dining area. The area wasn't very different from the rest of the ship, as the interior walls were a steely metal. But what distinguished the area was the large picture frames containing the most exotic photos. As well, the lighting wasn't a blindingly fluorescent type but rather it carried a cozy warmth. The gargantuan table that looked as if it could seat at least twenty people remained the center piece. It was a metal table with carvings of intricate leaves and vines that flowed from the center toward the edges.

Her eyes fluttered to the two set plates and silverware at opposing ends of the table. Rey was surprised to see the plates piled with mounds of food – it was definitely the most food she had ever seen in her life. In all her attention to detail, Rey had completely missed the two servants standing at attention on either ends of the room.

"You must eat," Kylo's statement brought Rey from her observations. She watched as Ren waved his hand and dismissed the servants.

"Well, you're the one who thought it would be a good idea for me to skip a meal," she retorted.

"I responded rashly. I've reevaluated my decision from yesterday, and it is unfair to starve someone who is rigorously training." Rey could tell she was getting under his skin and irritating him. "But if you don't want the food, I can always get rid of it."

That's when it hit Rey like a starship – this was some form of an apology. The food, this whole breakfast escapade – it was all a ruse, it was part of a bigger plan. Was this part of an attempt at winning back her favor – she wondered. If he felt guilty about what happened yesterday he would never outright say it. She could never imagine Kylo verbally apologizing to her in the first place. Ren was too conceited – he knew himself as a high ranking commander and anything he did warranted no apology. But was this him seeking some form of redemption?

Unexpectedly, Rey was broken from her thoughts – she watched in peril as Ren using the Force to pick up her plate. She knew he was going to throw it or somehow dispose of it. He held it in the air as if he was waiting for an answer.

"I'll eat," Rey replied hastily. She would be lying if she said she wasn't hungry. For the last few hours her stomach had ached unbelievably. The meals of prison food here were disgusting and fairly unappetizing, but Rey always ate it anyways. It was hard to describe the type of hunger she'd always been subjected to. Every moment of her days back on Jakku were consisted of her being hungry or thirsty. It was a gnawing pain that never ceased and her concerns about her next meal were always in the back of her mind.

Ren pulled out the chair closest to him and motioned for her to sit. Timidly, Rey took the chair and quickly the dark lord pushed her toward the table. Kylo set her plate down and trudged to the other side of the table where he took a seat. Her eyes glazed over the odd red meat and the resplendent colored vegetation that was on her plate. Rey was about to starting eating with her hands when she remembered her lesson on using silverware from their last meal together.

A distinct hiss called to Rey's attention and her eyes shot up. Kylo was taking off his helmet to reveal his actual face. She watched a curtain of jet black hair fall perfectly into place on his head. Just for reassurance he ran his gloved hand through his hair, as if to make sure it fall the way he wanted it. Ren's dark, rich eyes settled upon her with an aura of seriousness. It was involuntarily, but Rey could feel her pulse quicken under his intense, leonine gaze. He was such an extreme person it was surprisingly hard to comprehend.

"It doesn't bother you – me removing my mask," he asked. His real voice was very deep and completely organic – she was reminded of how much she liked his real voice, it was soothing to her.

"Not at all," she lied. In all honesty, she was very anxious about seeing his actual features. It reminded her of how physically attractive she secretly found him. It was easy to see him as the enemy when he was masked and didn't have a face to relate too.

"Good," his responsed. "It would be impossible to eat a meal with my helmet on." He tried to make light conversation, and Rey had been on the verge of smirking, but she buried it to keep her expression very steely. She could tell Ren didn't take kindly to her lack of enthusiasm.

There was a heavy silence between them as they ate. In all actuality, Rey didn't particularly want to speak with him right now. She was enjoying the sweet tasting, colorful vegetables – they must be fruit. Fruit was only something the elite could afford on Jakku, and Rey had never seen or tasted fruit before, so she couldn't be certain.

"I heard from one of the officers that you piloted the Millennium Falcon," Kylo said quietly.

Rey looked up at him – Kylo was actually making conversation. Had the end times come, she wondered. She figured he was too self-absorbed in thoughts of slaughtering Jedi to actually make conversation.

"Yes, I did." Rey's statement was clipped – she kept everything short and to the point. She remembered the exact instance he was speaking of, when Finn and her had escaped Jakku.

"Does it fly well?" He asked – his voice remained as phlegmatic as possible.

"It flies wonderfully. I envy Han for owning that ship." Her statement was true. Rey's lifelong dream had been to become a pilot once her family returned, and flying the Falcon had been more than a dream come true. She'd never been taught to fly, but she had learned everything there was to know about ships as a scavenger. Taking apart Star Destroyers was no easy feat, but from that she had learned the basic and complex mechanics of ships and piloting. It had taken Rey a minute to get her bearings when flying the Falcon. Turning unpracticed knowledge into a physical skill takes a few minutes; but she didn't think she could have escaped those Tie Fighters on any other ship. After piloting the Falcon she had very much regretted calling it a piece of garbage.

"My father talked very highly of the Millennium Falcon, as if the ship was an extension of himself. I never got the chance to fly on it." Kylo paused momentarily before he spoke again. "He spent most of my life looking for that ship." There was bitterness in the way he said it – as if he blamed the Falcon for his father's absence.

"Well, he wasn't wrong. The ship handles like a dream," she reiterated in between bites.

"You like flying then?" He asked attentively.

Rey nodded. "I love flying, I spent my whole life studying ships as a scavenger. Mostly to find what parts were the most valuable, but also because the idea of ships and flying fascinated me. I never actually flew one until I got on the Millennium Falcon."

"So you're an excellent pilot who never flew before. Well, most Force users are known to be some of the best pilots," Kylo looked her in the eyes and there was a slight softness in his gaze.

"Do you like flying?" Rey asked curiously.

"I love flying as well. My father taught me, and I've always been highly skilled at it. I even pilot my own personal ship often, even if it's against protocol." He said pejoratively.

"It's against the rules for you to fly your own ship?" Rey inquired. It sounded very silly to her, not being able to fly your own ship.

"We have trained pilots in the First Order that are required to escort superior officers. But I don't often trust my life in someone else's hands."

"That's fair," she replied. "So your father taught you how to pilot ships. That seems like the actions of a good father to me."

Rey couldn't help but look at Kylo, and she saw his gaze was challenging her. "That was one of the the few things he taught me. Other than that he spent a lot of his time searching for the Millennium Falcon." He countered.

"At least you had a father to teach you things." That's when she witnessed Ren stiffened and he backed down – the dark lord's eyes settled on his plate with such uncertainty. She saw him bite on his lip ever so slightly as if he was holding back words. Kylo was also clenching his silverware very tightly, and she was worried he would snap his fork and knife in half. The sight perplexed and unnerved Rey – what was going on with him?

For the first time Rey decided to try an access his mind. She focused on her connection to the Force and slowly she tried to reach in his thoughts. Her heart quickened because she could feel the light in him had grown. How had she missed it before? Had it even been there before, or had she been so wound up in her dislike toward him she'd overlooked it. She relinquished her connection to the Force as she sat there pondering what had caused this growth. Maybe if she talked about his family more he would be reminded of the people who still cared about him, she could maybe draw more light out. Maybe being reminded of the people who still saw him as the light in their life, would bring him closer to seeing the errors of the Dark Side.

There was a steady silence between them, she considered breaking it, momentarily she held her tongue for her own safety – Rey would wait until he talked. Finally after a lengthy silence he spoke. "I'm sorry, about your family." He said it as if the saying the words were physically hurting him as he spoke.

Rey stared at him – she was very surprised that he'd even said an apology. It had been a very pathetic apology, but none the less it had been one. She had believed it impossible before, that he would apologize, but Ren seemed full of surprises today.

"There is nothing I can do about it now. But you still have a family, and you should value that." The fact of the matter remained that Rey was a little jealous that Kylo Ren had a family, and he tossed them aside for the legacy of a dead Sith Lord. "Power won't be able to replace your family."

Kylo looked at her and his eyes were stony. "Power has made me a stronger person. I used to be weak, but the Supreme Leader has guided me to strength. He told me I could become as powerful as Anakin Skywalker if I followed in his footsteps."

"You don't need power to be a strong person." Rey said defiantly. "You need people who will be there for you."

It was hard to ignore, Rey could feel waves of irritation rolling off Kylo Ren. He didn't want to talk about his family any further and she new that. "We don't have time for a philosophical debate. I think this marks the end of our meal. We have training to do." He rose from his seat and picked up his mask.

"No, training can wait. You've spent all this time running away from the truth and you refuse to forgive your father. It's unacceptable. He misses you, and I think we both know that to be true." Her declaration was bold, and Rey even felt like she might have overstepped her bounds.

The Dark Lord looked at her and his eyes were like chips of pure ice. "Who do you think you are? Claiming to understand my relationship with my father. And do you really believe you can boss me around?"

"I'm not bossing you around. This is advice coming from someone who never knew their family. If I could give up my connection to the Force for my family – I would do it in a heartbeat. Power means nothing if you're alone in the world. You felt my loneliness when you interrogated me, and soon you will suffer the same fate. The thing is, you have the power to change your fate." Rey felt as if she had laid her cards on the table for him to see, but he seemed to straight out ignore her. Kylo put his mask back on and headed for the door, but Rey got up from her seat and stepped in front of him.

Rey could feel his annoyance as she blocked his path. "I'm done talking about this, it's time to start your training." He stated.

"You are Ben Solo, that's who you are. You're not this fictitious villain Kylo Ren, that you claim to be. I sense you are a good person, and you have a family that still loves you. You shouldn't throw that away to prove you can be evil. " Rey said desperately, she needed to get through to him. She could feel the conflict rising in him again, and for the second time today she felt the light in him.

"I destroyed Ben the moment I chose to kill my fellow apprentices. He's been dead for years. There's no resurrecting him. If you think you'll be able to turn me back to the Light Side – you're wrong."

Rey felt a surge of hope for Kylo Ren – something she thought would never happen again. This morning she had believed him a lost cause, but something had changed in him since yesterday. And now the light in him was brighter, almost like a weak SOS beacon. She didn't want to give up now, she wouldn't give up, not again. It didn't matter if he'd hurt her – if she could bring him to the light, she could end this war with the First Order.

"I won't give up on you, I promise." That's when Rey grabbed his arm. For a split second she thought he would shake her off, but he didn't. Ren allowed her to hold onto him.

"Ben, I won't give up on you. You are on the wrong side of the Force. We both know it," she was near pleading now.

"Don't call me Ben," he hissed. "And that's the end of this inane conversation. And if you continue this treasonous talk our lesson will be over before it's even begun." Kylo's synthetic voice sounded as if it was seething.

Rey backed down and slowly let go of his arm – she would not allow herself be intimidated again. He would not best her every time, at some point she would get through to him. She knew it.

There was no way to deny it, she had felt the conflict in him, and for the first time in a few days, Rey felt hope growing in her heart. She may have thought him unchangeable earlier – but now she believed Kylo Ren might be savable still.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I hope seeing Rey's feelings made the wait worth it. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this chapter. I really am so blessed to have such wonderful followers like yourself, thank you for all the wonderful feedback from last chapter. :) Please, let me know what you thought of this chapter; it was a bit longer and had a little more content, so let me know if you liked the chapters a bit longer. Next chapter will be from Kylo's perspective and it will be interesting because there will be some unexpected trouble afoot. Again, thank you for taking the time to read and support the story! :)


	12. A New Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Kylo Ren abducted Rey on Takodana, he had solely been seeking the map to Luke Skywalker from her. But once he felt Rey's connection to the Force, and learned of her ability to quell the war between dark and light within him – he knew there would be no letting her go so easily. Hopefully, she can see more than a monster in him. Rated M as of chapter 18. Slow burn Rey/Kylo

Serenity reigned in the interrogation room as Rey did her meditation. Kylo could feel the peace just oozing from her like a spring. He had opted to skip meditating with Rey this time. Her compassionate crusade in an attempt to save his soul was starting to worry him. He liked to think it was a pathetic waste of time, that his soul was beyond redemption at this point – but he feared now that there was a chance he could be redeemed – that maybe deep down he wanted to be redeemed by her.

Thinking back on their breakfast meal together, he had enjoyed their surprisingly average conversation about piloting ships. It had truly marked something remarkable – that they were capable of conversing like normal people. That not everything they talked about had to be excruciatingly personal or overly emotional. Even now, he replayed the conversation back in his head over and over again, like a hologram he would never tire of.

Ren almost liked the memory as much as the first time he'd seen the mysterious girl who had a knack for sending his meticulous plans into disarray – like back on Takodana. He had thought of her as defiant, righteous and beautiful then, and his opinion had only intensified in the time since he had gotten to know her.

He was shocked that Rey had opened up a bit since their last encounter. She had allowed him glimpses of her past and what drove her passion for technology and flying. There had been a frigidness between them when he'd first entered her cell – which he had anticipated. And he couldn't argue, Kylo had wronged her in more than one way when he'd pushed her closer to the Dark Side and then nearly killed her. Rey had been consumed with thoughts of him being a monster, and it had stung at first – the potency of her dislike toward him. But by the end of their meal, she had remained as determined to bring him to the Light Side as before.

Kylo's whole reasoning for their meal had been for him to remedy the situation and end the distress he'd caused. But by the end of their meal turmoil had rose again, and it had been in the form of a name – _Ben Solo_. Rey had been so adamant about calling him Ben that she'd even denounced his name Kylo Ren as fictional. That had caused him to snap more than her talking about his family. He hated being called Ben and no matter how many times he reiterated that point, Rey seemed to ignore that. She was hell-bent on making him accept his former identity and he was still too stubborn to allow her to say the name Ben.

There had certainly been fervor in her declaration for him to forgive Han Solo and return home. Rey had told him how she foresaw his inevitable loneliness if he continued down his current path. It had annoyed him, for she was right, anyone who had ever embraced the Dark Side had done so alone. And since he'd met Rey, he found himself slowly enjoying being around her and basking in the peace she emitted. It lead him to worry that he craved her companionship – and that he longed for his family too.

Often times he could feel his mother and Luke calling to him, begging him to return home. It was always tempting, just the thought, but he always chose to block it out. In truth, there was an intense fear that was buried inside himself – anytime he thought of returning home that fear was unwrapped and exposed. There would be a reckoning if he ever went back to the Resistance; they would make him pay for the things he did. For the people he killed, for the treasonous crimes he'd committed in the name of the First Order.

The idea of submitting to the light always seemed like a step backward, there was so much unlocked power he could still attain from the Dark Side. But he needed his master to show him, and he had to wait patiently; he had to prove his devotion and continue to foster his own anger and pain.

But when he thought of Rey's pain – like when she had mentioned her own family, that had sent him spiraling back toward sympathy. He had nearly broke down and told her the truth, that her father was dead, and she was the last of her known line. But she would blame the Supreme Leader for her father's demise, and she would despise the First Order forever. Was it selfish of him to withhold the truth? He also didn't want to cause Rey any grief, he wasn't sure he could stand to see her suffer again, not after he'd nearly killed her himself. Was it wrong for him to want her to not be bothered by such burdens?

Kylo's thoughts drifted back to their normal conversation. He had found himself, during their talk, wishing he could take her out flying in his ship. He probably would if it wasn't so counter intuitive. If they were in different circumstances, he would have loved to take her out flying for an afternoon, maybe stop at a planet his mother had taken him to during their tour of the New Republic camps when he was a child. Instantly he shook the silly notion from his head. Rey would possibly try to kill him, and take his ship wherever she liked, back to the Resistance no doubt.

Ren looked back at Rey who was sitting on the floor connecting with the Force around her. Kylo didn't think it was necessary to meditate, just to vex Rey he'd been focusing on hating her, but he was starting to find it harder and harder to maintain his distaste of her. So he didn't partake in meditating altogether to avoid looking weak.

Rey looked so calm in her meditative state – he liked how stray chocolate colored hairs rested against her cheeks. He watched as her chest rose and fell with each breath, and how her petite nose twitched every once and a while as she took a breath. Kylo didn't want to disturb her, but he knew it was time to continue their training. If they didn't start soon she would be missing another meal, and Kylo Ren wasn't certain he could handle two meals with Rey in one day – at least not yet.

"Are you ready to continue your training?" He asked gently.

Her rich, hazel eyes slowly opened. She looked very attentively at him. "Of course," she said.

"Today I will teach you Jedi mind tricks. Mind tricks push suggestive thoughts into a weak-minded being's subconscious and they will execute them to perfection," Ren explained.

Rey's eyes widened. "I've heard of this before, but it always sounded very dark."

"It's not dark at all, only the Jedi used it, the Dark Side does not use such a skill. I won't teach you anything dark, unless you want me to?" He was curious – but Rey shook her head.

Kylo held back a sigh. "I want you to try a mind trick on me, it won't work, but I will feel you attacking my mental focus if you're doing it successfully." He instructed her without hesitation.

Rey nodded. "I want you to return to your family, and stop calling yourself Kylo Ren." Her voice was commanding and the dark lord could feel the power emanating from her voice as it passed through him.

Kylo felt her pushing aggressively against his intense focus. There was no doubt in Ren's mind that if he was a Stormtrooper he would be following Rey's orders to the letter.

Her statement had been very risky, since he had just threatened her to stop. But Ren very much liked Rey's boldness, it had bothered him when she'd first arrived. But now he'd adapted to it, and become slightly attracted to her resolute attitude. She was forthright and pursued what she believed was right. It was admirable, even if it was sometimes foolish.

"Impressive. You're nearly a master at mind tricks without training. But you could have chose another phrase though." He said with slight discontent.

He wondered how it was possible she could be so talented at Jedi mind tricks. From what Luke had told him, Obi-Wan Kenobi had been an absolute master at Jedi mind tricks. It could be possible that his abilities had somehow passed on to Rey.

"I thought it was appropriate," Rey interrupted his thoughts. "Is there anything else you can teach me today?"

"That's all I had planned – I thought it would take longer for you to master such a skill," Kylo admitted. "This room doesn't offer much for training purposes. Tomorrow I'll take you back to the training room for more intense training."

"Okay," she agreed. "Will you ever be teaching me how to wield a lightsaber?" There was a note of dangerous curiosity in her voice that worried him. She wanted to learn how to use a saber, and it sounded like she had intentions of using that skill.

"Maybe the basics, but I wish to stay away from lightsaber combat. I can't afford for you to get too powerful," Ren concluded.

Rey almost giggled at him. "You think I'm going to try and kill you? You've taught me a lot, I don't think that would be a good repayment of your services, even if we aren't on the same side."

There again was the barrier – the mention that they were on different sides. Yet they were both in the same boat, part of a dying culture – the Force sensitive culture. He knew which one weighed more heavily to him, and it was certainly his power as a Force user and his connection to the Dark Side. His allegiance to the First Order only existed because he had devoted himself to the Dark Side.

"We are on the same side in some degree," he argued.

"I didn't realize you were part of the Resistance," she stated.

"We are both Force sensitive beings, and that makes us on the same side. There are nearly none of us left, so we must look out for one another a little." Kylo opened the door and motioned for her to leave, he didn't want to give her the opportunity to argue. There was no way he could handle getting in yet another philosophical debate with Rey today.

They left the interrogation room in silence, but Kylo could feel the conflict stirring in Rey – as if she was mulling over what he'd said. To his surprise, Rey actually took the lead back to the cell block. She seemed to be learning Starkiller Base better than he was comfortable with.

They reached an intersection of hallways one lead to the cell block – but the other headed toward the bridge. Usually Kylo was very leery of crossing this hall with Rey in his presence, he opened up his connection to the Force hoping to sense any troopers near.

That's when Kylo felt a familiar, dark presence about. Quickly, he searched deeper in his feelings and almost instantly he knew it was General Hux. Usually the General remained stationed at the bridge, and it was rare that he diverted from that section of the base. It was very surprising to Ren that the General had ventured over here – Hux must have had good reason.

That's when he heard voices – specifically Hux's commanding tone. Rey was walking ahead almost unaware of what was going on, and she was about to walk straight into the intersection where the voices were coming from. If she took another step forward she would be walking right into a trap, and Kylo wasn't sure if he would be able to shield her from this storm.

Instantly Kylo sprang into action. He used his Force pull to yank Rey back toward him. He caught her directly in his arms and protectively wrapped his arms around her. For a few seconds she struggled in protest and hastily Kylo covered her mouth so she couldn't make any noise. He could feel her teeth digging into his gloved hand as she fought for her freedom. But Ren accepted the pain as a payment for her safety – he couldn't allow her to escape.

Kylo pinned himself against the wall with Rey in his arms – so passing patrols wouldn't spot them. He could feel Rey against his chest struggling, and she was trying to elbow him in the ribs, But once she heard General Hux's voice resonated down the hall, Rey stopped fighting him.

It seemed that pompous ass was talking to someone. The dark lord strained his ears the best he could, to hear what the General was saying.

"Have you seen Kylo Ren or our prisoner?" General Hux inquired.

"I saw him yesterday, he had sliced the walls in the prisoners' block. I had to call maintenance to fix them, General." It was definitely Captain Phasma talking to Hux.

"He's like a temperamental child." He heard the General sneer. "Ren has always been out of control. But lately he's been surprisingly secretive, and I want him back on my radar. From my understanding his one task was to get the map to Skywalker, but he still doesn't have the map. I blame the girl – she's a distraction to him, and she needs to be removed from the situation as soon as possible."

"I agree, sir. Her presence here is a disturbance to the flow of things," Captain Phasma agreed.

"Yes, she is causing a disruption. I fear he's using her as an object of entertainment rather than doing his job and getting the map for the Supreme Leader." He paused for a second before continuing. "If you see the girl without Kylo, bring her to me."

"May I inquire as to your need for this girl?" Phasma was treading on very dangerous water with her questions. Hux didn't like giving his motives away.

"It seems Kylo Ren is fond of our new hostage, and I would like to use the girl to reign Kylo Ren in. That's all you need to know – just bring the girl to me." The General sounded highly irritated by Phasma's questions.

The dark lord saw glimpses of Hux's intentions for Rey. They were extremely dark, filled with long hours of inflicting torturous marks that would scare her permanently. Flashes of Hux torturing Rey for the map played in his mind like a hologram, as her screams filled his ear drums. Ren could feel the pleasure Hux was deriving from his sadistic thoughts and Ren found himself unintentionally squeezing Rey tighter. Rey was shivering in his arms – she must have been exposed to the General's thoughts too.

"I'll bring the girl to you, General." The sound of footsteps echoed down the hall.

Kylo and Rey remained where they were, tightly pinned against the wall. Ren could feel the heat Rey's body was emitting through his robes, and it was unexpectedly comforting in their situation. They both saw the back of Hux as he walked down the hall perpendicular to them. He was headed back toward the command bridge, probably to continue tormenting his men.

It sounded as if Captain Phasma was heading in the opposite direction, back toward her quarters. Ren relaxed his grip on Rey, and she struggled free right away.

"What was that about? Have you made me a target? What's going on?" Rey started spurting out questions uncontrollably. Her voice was filled with high levels of fear.

"I think the General is trying to use you as leverage, so that he can control me. He's always thought I'm outside his range of control, but he's never had anything to use against me. And Hux is a man who demands order." He stated frankly. "You need to get back to your cell before anyone sees you."

Kylo checked the hallway – which was surprisingly empty. He lead her straight to her cell and input her security code. He took a step in and waited as Rey followed and sat on the metallic floor. Her eyes were wide from shock and her breathing was more sporadic than usual.

She was looking at him with a fearful gleam in her eyes. Ren was a little uncomfortable as her light brown eyes raked up and down his figure – almost scanning him. "Hux said you were fond of me, to what extent did he mean?"

Ren knew some type of question like this would arise, and he had been anxiously awaiting it. "He's upset I'm not torturing you for the map. He thinks I'm being too kind to you; Hux doesn't know of our agreement and I'd like to keep it that way."

Rey's eyes widened. "They don't know I'm your student? To them I'm just a prisoner who receives special treatment. So you've unintentionally branded me a target."

"Unfortunately." It was hard to keep the disappointment out of his voice. Rey was right, he had made enemies for her, specifically General Hux. "But I plan to fix that, you won't be a target much longer."

The dark lord was about to leave, but Rey got up and stepped in front of him. Rey looked directly toward his eyes; she was always a little off, since his face was concealed. His mask separated them and for once he wished he wasn't wearing it.

"Wait, you are going to leave me in my cell? Isn't that dangerous now, they could just snatch me from here."

"Don't worry, I'll make sure that doesn't happen, I have devised a countermeasure already," he assured her.

For only the second time since Kylo had met her, Rey gave him a small but a genuinely warm smile. "Thank you – for protecting me. I saw flashes of his dark intentions and it was terrifying."

"Hux is a man who is desperately grasping at anyway to control me, but I won't let him harm you – you have my word, as your teacher," he said as sincerely as possible.

"I believe you," she murmured softly. "I really do believe you." Rey looked at him like no one had in a long time – he saw trust and hope in her eyes. That was something he hadn't seen in a few years, no one looked at his with hope in their eyes anymore – it was always fear or resentment. And in that moment Kylo knew he won't let Rey down – he would protect her from Hux if it was the last thing he did.

* * *

Kylo approached Captain Phasma's personal quarters alone. Ren had decided his first course of action was to skip Hux and go straight to the middle man – who happened to be Phasma. If he could convince the Captain to leave Rey be, she would be fairly safe from Hux's prying grip. The General was too lazy to actually do his own dirty work, and he usually pushed it upon the peons.

The hallway over in the female's quarters was dark and eerie. Kylo had to suppress a small shiver as the cold steeliness of the base soaked straight through his robes. Finally Ren reached the door he believed was Phasma's. Gingerly, he knocked on the door, he couldn't be certain it was Phasma's room or if she was present. Fortunately for him, Phasma was.

"Come in," she prompted.

Confidently, Kylo walked in and stood there in her wake, as a show of assertion he used the Force to close the door behind him. Ren's eyes traveled to the cramped, bland metal walls, which were a dull gray. There was no decorations on her walls and the place was surprisingly tidy. Her bed was just propped up in the corner of the room and the only distinct furniture was a small desk. At the tiny desk sat Captain Phasma, she was wearing her traditional metallic armor, except her helmet was removed.

For many months Kylo had worked closely with the Captain, but never before had he seen her actual face. She had a hardy, stern face with very severe, almost masculine facial features. Her cheeks, forehead and chin were very broad, and surprisingly rosy. She had short, perfectly combed blond hair that only just covered the tips of her ears and fell halfway down her cheeks.

The Captain's argent, blue eyes were fixated on him with sinister curiosity. "Lord Ren – I had a feeling I would be receiving a visit from you this evening. You're here about the girl, I presume."

The mask he wore disguised the contempt he felt toward her arrogant attitude. "Yes, I'm here about Rey – the prisoner in cell 110."

There was a very dark smile on her face, as if she had been waiting for this day for a very long time. "We're both impatient people, so let us get down to business, and skip beating around the bush. You want me to not hand the prisoner over to Hux, am I correct?"

"Yes," he confirmed. He didn't like that she was very abrasive about her knowledge. She was flaunting her power over him with such pride that it was sickening. He just wanted to choke the life out of her, but he knew he wouldn't get anywhere harming her.

Captain Phasma gave Kylo the wickedest smile. "Well, I can temporarily keep the scavenger out of the General's hands, but it will come with a price."

"What do you mean by temporarily," he cut in. He watched as the Captain's smile disappeared with his anger. "Because I don't deal in temporary agreements."

"Hux will discover in time that I'm not fulfilling my duty, and he might pursue the girl himself. That's the only instance in which I can't guarantee her safety. But we both know Hux doesn't usually do his own dirty work." A ghostly smirk skimmed around her face. "So are you willing to hear the price?"

Kylo stood there for a moments trying to repress his anger. For a few seconds he considered just choking her nearly to death and asking if letting her live was a sufficient payment. But if he threatened her, Phasma would send Rey straight to Hux, and exact her own revenge on him. If he killed her, Kylo would still have to worry about some officer coming after Rey. And if he got caught killing multiple officers, he was certain he would be reprimanded by the Supreme Leader – and then Hux would take Rey from his custody. Ultimately, trying to intimidate or threaten her was counterproductive and a waste of time.

He despised the idea of being blackmailed, but there was no other way to keep Hux away from Rey. The First Order was a viper pit – he had known that upon his arrival. But he'd never given the officers anything to use against him in his time here. Now that he could lose Rey to General Hux, he was finally seeing how vicious this arena was. "What's your price?" He tried to keep his voice civil, but Kylo could hear his own bitterness escaping in his tone.

"I want a seat on the Executive War Council, and you will help me get it."

"Deal," he said without delay. "We have a full twelve members, but we could arrange an accidental death."

There was a stern look on the Captain's face now, as they got down to the gross details. "I'm already ahead of you. I've uncovered some dirt of my own – Major Brandson has been having one of my men, KL-2377, smuggle in Lesai. It's a very illegal drug and it seems he's an addict."

"You want me to kill him and make it look like he overdosed?" He asked curiously.

"Precisely. Then you can nominate me as a candidate. And I can proudly be the first woman on the Executive Council," she declared with such pride.

"What about the necessary majority for your appointment?" He'd just remembered that she needed a majority of votes to be placed on the Council. Unfortunately, if she looked over qualified she wouldn't get voted in. The current officers were afraid of being shown up by a newer member. And if she seemed under qualified she wouldn't get enough votes to begin with.

Phasma's expression became less stern the more she spoke – it was as if she was relaxing. "I'm sure your vote is guaranteed, and I have three more officers I'm affiliated with and I know I'll get their votes. Hux I'm not certain about – I don't know the details of the General's business affairs or who he's connected too. But since there are twelve officers total, I will need a minimum of three more votes."

"Do you want me to guarantee those votes as well or is my work done once I've nominated you?"

"Once I have the position your work is done," Phasma scoffed. "I'll send you information about three other officers that will need persuading. You just need to intimidate them into voting for me."

"That's easy enough." Ren had a hard time removing the arrogance in his voice. It wasn't everyday he had a reason to bully officers.

There was a moment of awkward silence between them, before Phasma leaned forward and spoke. "I thought Hux was over exaggerating when he said you were fond of this girl, but you're going to such lengths to keep her safe."

"The Supreme Leader has commanded me to turn her to the Dark Side, and then we will have the map to Skywalker. If Hux gets his hands on her, all my work will be for nothing. She will only see wickedness in the First Order." He stated as gracefully as possible; there was no hint of any emotions. He wanted to create the illusion that he was being as studious as possible to his master.

"True, but we are wicked people and you know this – there is no sugar coating it. I sense this is more personal. Between the two of us, why are you really protecting the girl?"

Not in a million years would Kylo ever want to divulge the truth to anyone, least of all someone closely related to Hux. Deep down, he knew Rey was dependent on his protection here at Starkiller Base.

There was no denying it now, Kylo Ren was fond of Rey, and everyday now Rey grew on him a little bit more. He needed her – she brought him peace – Rey balanced him. It had been a long time since Kylo had felt at home in his own mind, but every time he was near the scavenger – he felt relaxed. Sometimes he got a little irritated with her, but it was nothing compared to the rage he felt without her around. Ren was almost certain it was Rey that brought him peace, and he didn't care if it was her connection to the Force or not.

Even though he had nearly killed her, she believed that he wasn't lost to the dark forever. Ren had forgotten what it was like to have someone wholeheartedly believe in him, and for once he enjoyed the feeling.

Kylo finally answered Phasma's question. "I'm doing this for my own personal gain, nothing more," he stated to the Captain. But in reality, Kylo knew why he was doing this – he was doing it for the hope that Rey would be safe and continue to believe in him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I finished this chapter a little earlier than intended. I just wanted to thank you guys so much for all the wonderful comments from last chapter. You guys have literally been the best followers an author could ask for and have supported this story so wonderfully. I hope you enjoyed the chapter it was a little longer than last time. Next chapter will be from Rey's perspective and it will be interesting, just you wait and see. Again, thank you so much for taking the time to read, please leave some feedback if you have the time. :)


	13. To Dream a Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Kylo Ren abducted Rey on Takodana, he had solely been seeking the map to Luke Skywalker from her. But once he felt Rey's connection to the Force, and learned of her ability to quell the war between dark and light within him – he knew there would be no letting her go so easily. Hopefully, she can see more than a monster in him. Rated M as of chapter 18. Slow burn Rey/Kylo

Sleep would not come to Rey at all, for hours she laid awake trying not to think about where she was. For once she wished she was back on Jakku, living out her normal life and not here, in the grasp of the First Order. In truth, she was too afraid to even close her eyes for more than a second. The visions that she'd seen in General Hux's mind haunted her like a phantom. Hearing her own screams resonating in her brain was not something she could erase from her memory.

This base was a place bred from pure evil – the people here were as vicious as rathtars. And ironically, the only person making her imprisonment on this base bearable was none other than Kylo Ren. The man – who she had been so certain upon her capture would make her life a living hell – was in fact making her much happier here than she ever thought remotely possible.

Ren was protecting her, shielding her from the harsh elements of the First Order. He had remained adamant when he said he would defend her. She believed Kylo when he'd said he would protect her, but the idea of men breaking into her room kept her from sleep. The idea of being dragged away was terrifying. At least Kylo had taught her some abilities when it came to the Force so she could defend herself. Rey knew she could push them away or maybe use a Jedi mind trick.

She couldn't stop thinking about what Hux had said, that Kylo Ren was _fond_ of her. Kylo claimed that Hux saw fondness as not torturing her for the map – like Ren had done to Poe Dameron. But she wondered if there was more to it. Kylo didn't seem like the type of person who wore his heart on his sleeve, so there had to be sometime that the General was reading into.

But then again, his intentions of kindness were becoming a little more apparent. After he'd prepared a breakfast for her specifically, she couldn't help but think he was trying to make up for nearly strangling her. And during their meal he'd been kind to her. He was the one who'd made the conversation and he was better at conversing than he lead on to be. She always had thought of him as very taciturn and forlorn. The idea they could hold a conversation that was normal seemed foreign to her. But he'd picked a subject she loved talking about, flying was one of her favorite things in the galaxy.

Their talk had been very enjoyable, until she'd called him Ben Solo. Ren seemed to hate his own name with a fierce passion. Anytime she ever brought it up he became irate and completely shut her down. That was always the moment in which he became formal again and treated her like his student rather than – she dared to think – a companion.

Rey hated it so much, but she had become dependent on him. Her survival was based on his power in the First Order, and he was keeping the real monsters at bay. It was almost funny that not long ago Rey has seen Kylo Ren as the purest essence of a monster, but he was proving her wrong. The real monsters were the ones who affiliated themselves with Ren.

Could it be possible that the dark man that had once abducted and tortured her was now her savior? It was odd how things could change so quickly. She liked to believe that she was the one who was his savior, that she would turn him back to the light – but maybe protecting her was his way of coming closer to the Light Side.

Rey turned over on her side and pulled the blanket over her head. Her head was starting to hurt from thinking too much, and she hoped that sleep would come to her. Unfortunately, this place was so damn cold it was a wonder she could even fall asleep here. Intentionally, Rey shut her eyes and hoped sleep would come to her otherwise it would be a long, dreadful night before training.

* * *

_The sun beat down on her harder than usual as she dragged her findings to Unkar Plutt, the junk lord thug. She had spent at least an hour grinding sand and ugly residue off these parts. As she approached his shack, she was shocked there was no line. Rey eagerly took advantage of that and quickly placed her parts on his overhang._

_She anxiously watched as he reviewed the pieces, he turning them over and even shook them before his small, beady eyes met hers._

_"That's one and a half portions for these parts," he said in his low, grumbly voice. She could smell the gross stench that Unkar was giving off and she had to keep herself from vomiting. Just the thought of Unkar was enough to make her sick normally, but his foul moody and smell was really getting to her._

_"That carbon calibrator was worth two portions alone two weeks ago," she tried to keep her irritation to a minimum while dealing with Plutt. He was always trying to rip people off and she despised being a victim._

_"It's one and a half portions, or you can take your parts and leave," Unkar spat._

_Reluctantly, Rey took her portions while she shot him an angry glare. He was such a demeaning man. Always raising and dropping the price of parts on a whim, it plainly disgusted her. Impatiently Rey walked over to her speed bike. Carefully, Rey attached her staff to her speed bike – which she jumped on and headed home in._

_Her small home was the inside of an AT-AT walker slightly south of the Niima Outpost. The vehicle had been old and decrepit, but she'd cleaned it out about four years ago and converted into a living space. The place was surprisingly more cozy than she'd anticipated._

_Rey parked her speeder, and pushed it into one of the AT-AT walker's feet like usual, and closed the foot back up. Impatiently, Rey crawled through a small, hidden compartment in the hollow belly to get inside her home. The hidden hatch kept most other thieves and scavengers away. To them her home looked like a picked-apart, desolate walker half buried in sand._

_Finally, she made it inside the body of the walker, inside her home. It was darker in here than she remembered, usually the sun pierced through some of the bullet holes in the metal ceiling. Rey was about to start to make her instant bread roll when she heard a noise close behind her._

_Hastily, she whipped around to face her intruder. Her fists were at the ready, but she was taken aback by who was awaiting her._

_"Rey," Ren said softly. He was wearing his typical black robes, but to her surprise he wasn't wearing his ebony mask. She could openly see his clean facial features and his black hair that cascaded down his head like a small waterfall. Kylo's dark brown eyes glanced over her softly._

_Rey lowered her fists and looked directly at him in confusion. What was he doing here, she wondered. Rey had never seen Kylo's face look so calm, as if he was just absorbing her._

_He took a few languid steps closer to her so they were only a few short inches apart. His nose was nearly brushing against hers, he was that close. As usual, Kylo was looking down upon her, he was so tall, she wondered where he got it from. His father Han wasn't very tall – and Kylo was at least a head taller than her. Rey could feel heat rising in her cheeks, with him being so close. It was almost nerve wracking, the fact that she could feel his breath tickling her skin._

_Her heart started to race when Ren raised his hand and gently caressed her cheek. His eyes were very fixated on her now – they were focused yet relaxed all at the same time. Rey was transfixed as his slightly callous thumb grazed over her skin with tenderness. Never in a million years had she expected Kylo Ren to be so tender._

_"Kylo," she whispered. Her voice was failing her and she was unable to say another word. She could see he was leaning in toward her, and for a second she thought he would kiss her. It was almost involuntary, but Rey felt her eyes closing slowly in anticipation, and she even felt herself lean in slightly. Did she want him to kiss her, she couldn't help but wonder. Something in her subconscious was forcing her to move, something was compelling her to want to kiss him._

_Her eyes remained closed, but instead his lips brushed her cheek. Rey could feel his lips settling by her ear. Kylo's breath tickled the shell of her ear and it caused her to shiver. "It's time to wake up," he murmured loud enough for her to hear._

* * *

Rey's eyes groggily opened, still she was in a dreamy daze as she looked upon the person who was stirring her. In front of her was Kylo Ren, adored in his black robes and hefty black helmet. The dark lord's arm was on her shoulder and he was shaking her toward consciousness. He was being surprisingly gentle.

"It's time to wake up, Rey." His voice was synthetic and instructive. "You've slept an hour past our normal time for training."

Rey tried to shake the dream from her memory but it refused to fully leave her. "I'm sorry. I didn't get much sleep. I was too cold most of the night," she pieced an apology together. Intentionally she left out the part where she had worried about Hux. Rey didn't want him to think she didn't believe that he could protect her.

"How come you allowed me to sleep later?" Rey asked as she shook herself from her stupor and slowly sat up. Her eyes were sore from the lack of sleep and her limbs felt like metal bricks.

"I had some unofficial business to attend too." Ren said firmly. "It involved some members of the Executive Council."

"What do you mean by _unofficial business_?" She tried to coax out of him. She couldn't see his face, but Rey could feel discontent buried under his facade.

"The type of unofficial business that is none of your business." Kylo countered. He outstretched his gloved hand to her, and Rey grabbed it so he could pull her up from her bed. When Rey let go there was a bloody residue all over her palms and fingers. It shined a dark crimson in the harsh lighting.

"What did you do?" Rey looked up at him, she tried to keep the horror out of her voice.

She watched Kylo stiffen, even under those inky robes Rey could see his body become rigid. He was not enjoying her personal interrogation one bit. "I did what was necessary to protect you," Ren replied.

"Did you kill someone?" She asked reproachfully.

Kylo Ren remained silent – his body was like a statue, unmoving and stony.

His silence was a confirmation of what she thought. He was just too modest to own up to his crime. "You did, didn't you?"

"I've killed plenty of people. This case was no different." His confession was riddled with uncertainty and flickers of shame. Before when Ren had threatened to torture her back in their second interrogation – he'd been very intimidating. She believed every word he said when he'd insinuated she would suffer greatly if she didn't give him the map. There was an air to him, the type of air that had told her Kylo Ren had no problem torturing people. That he'd do anything what was necessary if it meant helping the First Order and getting what he wanted. She had concluded a while ago that Ren really enjoyed asserting his power through chaos and death.

But now she could see there wasn't the same level of enthusiasm about bettering the First Order or killing people. Why Rey even heard a hint of guilt in his tone – it was subtle, but it was there. Rey could feel that chaotic and deadly man peeling away. The inner turmoil in Kylo was strong, Rey could sense it.

"You say that so confidently, but I know how you truly feel – and deep down, you aren't proud of the lives you've cut short." Rey noted carefully.

"Stop pretending to know me." Kylo said with annoyance laced in his synthetic voice.

"Stop pretending to be more evil than you really are," Rey countered quickly. "I've seen enough of you to know that you don't enjoy killing people as much as you want people to believe."

Rey could feel that had struck a nerve with him, so she remained silent. Kylo's gloved hands bunch into fists. His anger was starting to set in, and she prepared herself to feel Ren's wrath. But instead she watched as he slowly released his clenched fists. His shoulders had been tight, but they relaxed once again.

She found it odd, before when she was first captured he'd been a tense ball of anger. She had felt the aggression and fear in him when she'd pushed into his mind by accident. But now he wasn't even beating the wall with his fist while angrily yelling at her.

He must have noticed her observing him, for he responded promptly. "You're right. Contrary to popular belief, I'm not always happy about killing people. But if I didn't do what was assigned, you wouldn't be here now." Kylo adjusted his cloak as he spoke again. "I won't let Hux best me. Training you has brought me more peace than I've had in many years. I'm not going to allow Hux to take that away from me," he admitted. Kylo looked up at her again, once he had adjusted his cloak.

Rey's eyes widened. Did Kylo Ren just openly admit that she made him more peaceful and that he wanted her around? For a second Rey imagined she had heard it. If it wasn't for the fact that Kylo had sounded dead serious she would have thought he was teasing her. She had made minor notes of how restrained his anger seemed, but never before had she expected him to admit it. She was beginning to have a positive effect on him it seemed, and she wasn't certain how to feel about it.

She was happy, definitely happy to be getting through to him. That she brought him peace and offered him stability. The First Order seemed like a very menacing environment to exist in, people trying to destroy one another for just a glimpse of fame in their mysterious leader's eyes. Maybe, just maybe her faith in him had not been misplaced.

"I'm glad that I, uh, bring you peace," She muttered; her statement had been choppy because of her nervousness, but she got it out. Forcing down a grin, Rey looked at her hands, she couldn't handle looking up at Kylo himself anymore. Not after the dream she had just had, the memory still lingered and Rey was sure she wouldn't be forgetting it anytime soon.

There was an awkward silence that rested between them as Rey was unsure how to respond further.

To her shock, Kylo was the first one to break their silence. "Let us head to the training room, there is much to be done."

"Yes, let's get going." Rey confirmed to him and quickly they departed, both eager to start training.

* * *

A blaster shot whizzed passed Rey's face, and she felt its heat as it nearly singed a stray hair of hers. Rey tensed as she heard the loud bang as the bullet hit the wall behind her. "I swear you're trying to kill me."

"You need to stop the blast, not watch it fly by. Stop flinching, there is no reason for being afraid, I'm not going to hit you." Kylo was getting frustrated, it was his seventh time shooting at her, and she still hadn't progressed passed flinching.

Rey's brow scrunched together as she awarded him an unsavory look. "There are plenty of reasons to be afraid when someone is shooting at you. I don't think I'll ever adjust to it."

"You'll need to learn. People will be shooting at you a lot if you plan to continue on your path." He said truthfully. Rey knew he was right, but it still didn't make the task any easier.

"How have you overcome it," she asked.

"By being focused, and confident in my ability to protect myself – those are my tools. I can say for a fact I've never been shot before, and many people have shot at me." Kylo sounded arrogant by the end of his statement. He was so proud of his self defense skills apparently.

"I can imagine almost all of the Resistance has shot at you." She muttered.

What sounded like a gravely snort came out from under his mask. "I know for a fact the whole Resistance wants me destroyed."

"Minus one person, General Organa." Rey added, and she witnessed Kylo stiffen a little.

"Yes, I suppose she doesn't want me dead. But focus and ready yourself," Ren commanded.

Rey tried to focus on her connection to the Force, but her mind was still in shambles from being shot at before. This time she outstretched her hand and stood there stiff as a board while Kylo shot at her again. The blast zoomed right past her face again and nothing seemed to happen.

"You need to focus on your connection and correct your posture," he said with annoyance.

Kylo strutted over toward her and stood behind her. Once again Rey could feel the dark lord's body pressed against her. Ren's robes blocked her from feeling too much – but she could feel the lean strength in his body. Once again her thoughts were scattered and Rey tried to take control over them.

"For this type of ability, you will want to have your knees a little bent, you need to be able to remain versatile. And keep your arms at the ready," Kylo guided her knees and arms into position. He seemed to linger a second longer than need be, and Rey was surprised.

Kylo finally stepped back – his black cape swayed as he walked away. The dark lord took his place in front of Rey and he lined up the blaster at her once again – Rey's heart started to thunder again in her chest. She closed her eyes to focus on her connection to the Force. Harshly, she pushed out any thoughts, as her mind cleared, Rey became aware that the Force was all around her, and she needed to channel it.

Once she opened her eyes again she felt ready for the first time today. The sound of fire jolted her arm forward and she could feel the Force radiating from her hand. Momentarily the blast stopped in the air, it only paused itself for a few seconds before it continued on its trajectory.

She watched as Kylo Ren lowered his blaster. It was uncertain if he was shocked or surprised.

"Impressive. I didn't expect you to get that immediately," he muttered.

"You'll find I'm full of surprises," Rey smirked.

"Yes, it seems you are," Rey was taken aback that he sounded honest and for a moment Rey thought he sounded flirtatious. She shook the thought from her mind, it must have been the mask's voice adjuster that was messing with her head. "Shall we try again?" Kylo said, he was almost eager to continue. Rey nodded in agreement, for the first time in a while, she was excited about learning how to refine her abilities again.

* * *

Rey rolled on to her bed and tried to focus on resting. Impatiently, she waited upon her meal so that she could official go to sleep. Her mind was more exhausted than anything. All day she had been straining to hold her connection to the Force with such clarity. On top of that Kylo had made her practice stopping blaster fire for two hours before he deemed her skill good enough.

And all day the memories of her dream had been running rampant around in her mind. The moment when Kylo Ren had appeared in her dream, things had been more intimate than she had ever anticipated. All day she had been trying to solve one question: Had she really wanted Kylo Ren to kiss her?

She had even leaned in – she'd almost been eager to receive what she thought would've been a kiss. She had to admit, she found Kylo Ren attractive. But just because someone looked attractive didn't mean they were good for her. By the gods, he was a dark lord, sworn to destroy the good in the galaxy. He had devoted himself to the Dark Side, and she would never stray away from the light, not again. Was she really losing her sanity – how could she be wanting to kiss Kylo Ren? It was pure nonsense.

It was only a dream, she reminded herself. Kylo Ren would never really be as bold as to kiss her, let alone show any physical attraction to her – he was too reserved, too shy to ever try and kiss anyone she wagered.

Plus Ren had been there in her cell. Maybe somehow that was how he'd accidentally wound up in her dream, his presence had ushered him into her mind. That was a complete possibility.

As usual, Rey heard the sound of the typical prison guard making noise at her door. He was actually opening up her cell for the first time since she'd been here. Usually he just opened the bottom compartment and slid the food in. Rey looked up at the man halfheartedly, she wondered why he was here.

The man was a normal trooper wearing the traditional suit of a Stormtrooper. This time he was carrying her tray as well as a stack of blankets.

"A special delivery," the man stated as he dropped her tray on the floor. Her food splattered all over the floor and Rey couldn't help but be peeved – over half of her meal was on the on the floor and she was unsure whether to eat it or not.

The trooper handed Rey the stack of blankets and on top was a very small sheet of paper. Patiently, Rey waited for the trooper to leave before she decided to open the small letter. It was a scrawled note that was short and the penmanship was atrocious. Somehow Rey could still make out the words, which she was glad for.

_I hope staying warm will improve your sleep and the quality of our training. Tomorrow will be another rigorous day._

_Sincerely,_

_Lord Kylo Ren, Commander of the First Order, Master of the Knights of Ren_

After reading the letter three times, Rey wondered what or who the Knights of Ren were. Were those the people she had seen in her vision at Maz's castle, the ones standing with Kylo in the pouring rain? She wanted to know, but worrying about it now was not going to do her any good. There was a good chance she would have to ask Kylo himself, and the idea made her a little nervous.

Still, Rey could hardly believe her eyes, this was all the blankets she would need. Ren had given her four more and they were softer than they looked. Rey smiled a little as she unfolded the blankets and tossed them on her bed.

Kylo Ren was a curious man, a dark lord on the outside, but inside he seemed to still wield nuances of compassion and kindness – even under all those layers of anger. At least Kylo had finally awarded her one night of decent sleep and for that she was thankful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this new chapter, If you have time please leave some feedback, it is really appreciated. I was really curious what you guys think, I should loosely follow the movie, I would probably change the dialog and emotional feel but kinda follow the canon. Or if I should go against the movie and mix it up. What do you think? Next chapter will be from Kylo Ren's perspective, and I won't lie, it's going to be a tad darker, but it will be really good. Again, thank you for taking the time to read! :)


	14. The Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Kylo Ren abducted Rey on Takodana, he had solely been seeking the map to Luke Skywalker from her. But once he felt Rey's connection to the Force, and learned of her ability to quell the war between dark and light within him – he knew there would be no letting her go so easily. Hopefully, she can see more than a monster in him. Rated M as of chapter 18. Slow burn Rey/Kylo

Kylo angrily used the Force to pick Major Harding up. Viciously, Ren slammed him against the wall. The sound of his skull banging against the metal made a distinct yet familiar noise. Harding was the last officer in the Executive War Council he had to convince to vote for Captain Phasma. The other two officers has been very easily persuaded, just Kylo's presence was enough to terrify them into submitting to his wish. But he had a feeling Major Harding would not so easily swayed.

The Major was an older gentleman for someone in the First Order. He was in his mid fifties, with graying hair, harsh broad facial features and bright blue eyes. The man was a stickler for order and rules, which had made him a good candidate for the First Order.

"Let me go," Harding hissed. He was trying to move his arms and legs, but Kylo's telekinetic paralysis was one of the abilities he'd perfected. He didn't want the Major escaping his grasp too soon.

"Do you know why I'm here?" Kylo asked, his voice remained even under his mask.

"Colonel Dawson told me the whole story, you're rallying support for Captain Phasma's promotion. All the officers know you killed Major Brandson." There was venom in Harding's voice, and Kylo found it exhilarating.

Ren was smugly smiling under his mask. "You have no proof. Major Brandson was just a normal Lesai addict. He'd been dancing with the devil for a long time, and it seemed the devil finally got the best of him."

Harding remained silent, but his eyes were digging daggers into the dark lord. Ren was used to pejorative and fearful looks here in the First Order.

"I've done some of my own digging. You were once an officer in the Galactic Empire. You may have known my grandfather, and I can promise you I'm more malicious than him," Kylo uttered firmly.

"Lord Vader was a force to be feared, but actions speak louder than words. Vader definitely committed more atrocities than you."

He threw Harding against the wall opposite him and languidly Kylo moved to face him. "I have committed crimes that would make your blood curdle. I've annihilated whole villages without batting an eye."

"I doubt you have, you're just a poser. You're no true dark lord," Harding said defiantly.

Kylo felt his rage washing over him and he couldn't even control it. Intentionally using the Force, Ren snapped one of Harding's legs. It was easy, like breaking a twig against his knee. The harsh sound of bone breaking resonated with the sound of Harding's scream.

"I would gladly kill you, but I still need that vote – it's unfortunate for you," Ren said angrily.

Kylo extended his gloved hand toward Harding and with such ease he pushed himself into the Major's mind. Harding's face contorted into an expression of unadulterated pain. Ren searched for anything he could, anything to use against the Major.

It wasn't long until flashes of the Major's life started to flicked through Kylo's mind. He saw images of a young women and a little girl – a wife and daughter. It looked a lot like they were on the planet Bespin, in Cloud City. Kylo removed himself from Harding's mind.

Ren frowned under his mask. "So, you have a family hiding in Cloud City. You think keeping them hidden among the Resistance will keep them safe? If you did, you are sorrily mistaken."

Harding's expression was twisted between agony and terror. Kylo used the Force to pull Harding closer to him, now they were only a few inches apart.

Kylo paused for a moment, and thought of the small visions he'd seen on Major Harding. His family had been just his wife and daughter. He'd left the Galactic Empire after the destruction of the second Death Star, and he'd started a family. It wasn't until the First Order had fully formed did he pledge his allegiance to them.

"How would you like if I paid them a visit? Your wife, well, I would kill her –right in front of your daughter. It would be quite a tragedy, don't you think?"

"Please, don't," The Major's defiant attitude seemed to have fallen flat. From what Ren had seen, he loved his family. Harding sent over half the credits he earned with the First Order to support his family. Kylo knew a daughter was every father's weakness.

"But your daughter she is quite beautiful. After my visit I'll be sure to send her dismembered head to you. Unless, of course, you're willing to support Captain Phasma's claim on the Executive Council," Kylo said maliciously.

"I'll do it, just leave my family alone. I beg of you," Harding said softly.

"I'm glad we could come to an understanding." The dark lord dropped Harding right on the ground. The Major landed right on his broken leg. Kylo's saw as the bone jutted slightly through the skin – a shriek of pain escaped the lips of the old man.

Ren left the room without looking back. He made it back to the sanctuary of his quarters before he had to pull off his helmet and wipe the sweat that was beading on his forehead. He had been excited to bully some officers, but it had been more taxing than he remembered. Usually torturing people was effortless, it had been natural when he joined the First Order.

When he'd tortured Poe Dameron only a few weeks before it had seemed easy. He'd enjoyed meticulously pillaging his mind for the information he needed. And once he had completed his interrogation, it had given him a euphoria, knowing he was one step closer to completing his mission.

But something about torturing people had changed, it was stressful retaining such a cruel visage. He wasn't sure what made it more difficult – he knew he couldn't let himself go soft, not here, not now. The First Order needed him to be as heartless as ever, the Resistance had to be afraid of him.

* * *

It was later than usual when Ren finally reached the prison's block. He had contacted Captain Phasma to inform her everything was in place for tomorrow at the Executive War Council. He hoped there would be no hiccups in their plan, otherwise Rey would be handed over to Hux.

Impatiently, Kylo entered in the security code for Rey's cell. The door opened quickly to reveal her sitting on the floor meditating while wrapped in a blanket. She was so focused she hadn't even noticed Kylo arrive.

He noted that her cheeks looked more lively from the last time he saw her. She seemed more comfortable in her environment. There was no way to deny it, Rey's mediation was calming him greatly, it was like being submersed in bath water. It was relaxing and soaked right through to the bone.

"I'm glad the blankets are being put to good use," he stated easily. "I need you focused today."

Rey's eyes fluttered open and she nearly jump from where she was sitting. He felt no remorse for breaking Rey from her meditation, but he did feel a little guilty for startling her. As she settled down, Rey gave him a coy little smile.

"Yeah, these blankets are highly appreciated." There was a pause before she spoke again. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet," he said cooly. "Today will be a tough day of instruction."

Rey give him a sly stare. "Why?" She muttered.

"I'm going to teach you the basics of wielding a lightsaber," he announced.

"Really?" Her voice was filled with surprise. "I thought you said that was something you wouldn't teach me."

"Instructing you on the basics won't make you exceptionally powerful." Last night he had decided it was harmless enough to teach her how to defend herself with a lightsaber. There was no way he was going to teach her how to be too adept with a saber, he didn't want her besting him.

Rey stood up eagerly, there was a newfound excitement in her steps as she folded up her blanket and tossed it on her bed. "What are we waiting for, let's go." Her enthusiasm was intoxicating, and Kylo had to mentally block her mania.

They were about to leave when Kylo heard what sounded like Rey's stomach rumble as they were leaving her cell. Instantly, he stuck his arm out to motion for her to stop. Ren slowly turned around and looked at Rey. Her face was innocent and a little bewildered.

"What's wrong?" Her voice was quiet and there was a trace of anxiety in her tone.

"Was that your stomach," he questioned.

Rey plainly nodded. Her bright hazel eyes were looking back at him in wonder.

"Have the prison guards been feeding you?" He asked, harshly. If those asshole weren't feeding her – he would personally kill them.

Rey seemed to pick up on his train of thought because she avidly defended the guards. "They are feeding me. One of the troopers was just clumsy yesterday when he brought my food. He dropped the tray and the food was all over the floor. He did nothing wrong."

Kylo sighed, he couldn't have Rey being hungry on the day he intended to instruct her on basic lightsaber usage. It would be an annoyance listening to her stomach rumble every few moments. And he definitely couldn't have Rey slacking today of all days; she needed to be sharp.

"You'll need energy for today, so you'll have to eat breakfast," he insisted.

Rey shrugged. "I could skip a meal, I'm used to eating once a day. But if you feel it's necessary, then I guess there is no arguing with you."

"No, there is no arguing with me on this matter. I'm calling in breakfast now." Kylo pulled his comlink right off his belt, and quickly contacted the cooks to bring one small breakfast to his personal dining area.

Bashfully, Rey was looking at her feet smirking. That little crooked smile was distracting him beyond belief, so much so that he nearly dropped his comlink while he was trying to attach it back on his belt. He loved seeing her smile – it made his heart flutter in his chest, like a bird trapped in a cage.

Ren directed for her to leave before him, and she quickly took the lead.

* * *

Kylo directed Rey straight to the dining area across the hall from his quarters. She seemed to know her way there without his assistance. He typed in the security code quickly and Rey entered first. The last time they had been here together things had been a little heavy, but there was different air between them. Things were lighter, Kylo felt like they could maybe have another normal conversation like last time.

Just as he'd ordered, her food was here without any complications. It was nothing special, simply a muffin and some fruit. Quickly, Ren pulled out a seat for Rey to sit down. Nimbly, she sat down and examined her food.

Kylo took a seat next to her, and without a second to spare he took his helmet off. The hissing of the pressure change left him dazed for a second before everything came back into focus. Rey was staring at him with very wide eyes. As if she was drinking in every detail of his appearance. It was odd to be a spectacle to her, but it was a rare occasion that he wasn't wearing his mask, so he reluctantly accepted her gaze.

For a few second they were both staring at each other with equally inquisitive gazes. He liked how her beautiful, coffee colored hair complimented her chestnutty brown eyes with their magical flexes of green. Her face was as flawless as ever, her cheeks were smooth and refined. Kylo purposely diverted his eyes from her lips – he knew if he looked at them now he wouldn't have the willpower to stop.

It wasn't long until Rey broke their stare and started digging into her food ravenously. There was something quaint in her uncivilized eating habits – like how she just devoured food with her bare hands as if she was starving. Jakku was a backwater planet that very few even knew existed. The people there were often trapped in a desolate life of servitude – so it was a remote place with little civility or manners.

He noted her pause as she gazed up at him. Kylo felt himself shift in discomfort as he was again subjected to her powerful stare.

"Are you ever going to tell me why and how you joined the First Order?" He could hear the curiosity wandering in her voice. Her unfathomable hazel eyes were looking at him intensely between bites of her muffin.

"Can't I have some secrets to myself?" He tried to bury a small smirk, but his efforts were futile. Instead he looked back down at his plate to hide it – but he knew Rey had seen his smirk.

"I only want to know a little more about my teacher, that's all." Rey's voice was innocent and teasing all at the same time. He felt like denying her request, just to annoy her for teasing him. But he knew he'd avoided talking about his past for some time, his reason for joining was painful to think about – least alone talk about. But her curiosity was harmless enough and Ren suspected she was only asking because she wanted to help him. There was no malice in her intentions; he knew Rey would keep his past to herself.

He had seen in her mind, against her will when he'd interrogated her. And now he felt obligated to reciprocate – to let her in.

Finally, Ren looked back up at her. "Okay, but it's a long story," he warned.

Rey's face lit up like a child presented with a gift; he noted how her already bright hazel eyes almost glowed with joy. "I'm not going anywhere, so take your time," she said eagerly.

Kylo leaned back in his chair and cleared his throat."When I was young, my family traveled to different bases around the galaxy. As you know, my mother was a General of the Resistance. But my father and I were thick as thieves while my mother was at work. He was always teaching me things my mother would never approve of, like flying, hand-to-hand combat, and how to fix ships. He even tried tirelessly to train me in the ways of being a smooth talker, but I never seemed to get that one down. I was too shy, as he put it." He saw Rey was smiling as he told his story, it was odd to see her happy about something so trivial.

"My father wasn't around as much as I would have liked. Looking for the Millennium Falcon was a large part of his life and keeping his smuggling contacts was important to him," Kylo's eyes shifted to the intricate carvings on the table.

"But when I reached the age of about nine, my father thought I should go live with my uncle at his newly formed Jedi Academy. He told me that Luke could teach me the things that he never could. My mother agreed with him, and so they sent me there, against my wishes. I was very resentful and bitter of the whole situation, especially since my father was the one who suggested sending me away. I felt betrayed that they would send me away so abruptly, and I felt alone for a long time after that."

He was about to continue when Rey intervened. "Didn't you make friends at Luke's Academy?" She obviously couldn't keep her curiosity at bay.

Ren's gaze shot to Rey, and she looked apologetically at him. "Sorry, continue," she muttered.

"My time at the Academy was dull. I was shy and didn't talk to many people. And on top of that, I surpassed a lot of my fellow students when it came to my skills with the Force. Being too proficient awarded me few friends. For a long time I was frustrated that no one approved of me there, some were even afraid of me. I could sense Luke feared my anger and frustration, so he started training me separately. He thought my anger might rub off on the other students. Shortly after I started training alone, I learned of my grandfather, Anakin Skywalker, also known as the powerful Sith Lord, Darth Vader."

Again Rey interrupted, with her endless questions. "Your parents never told you who your grandfather was?" Rey asked; she sounded slightly shocked.

"No. I think that's why I was so enthralled by my grandfather. It baffled me why my parents would keep such a secret from me, so I read about Darth Vader nonstop. From what I gathered he was the most powerful Jedi of his time and I started looking up to him," Kylo sighed; it was an understatement. Ren nearly worshiped his grandfather for the strength, fear and power he represented.

"It wasn't long until Snoke contacted me in my dreams. He said he could teach me how to be as powerful as my grandfather. He also said he could feel I was suffering, and that he could teach me how to harness that pain to make me stronger. All I had to do was kill my fellow students with the Knights of Ren and pledge myself to be his student."

He was about to continue but Rey interrupted him. "Who are these Knights of Ren? I saw it written on your note that you are their master."

"They are Snoke's trained Jedi slayers. Some of the most powerful men in the galaxy."

"I see, you can continue." Rey said with eagerness.

"I already felt alone and I loathed a lot of my fellow students, they frequently teased and mocked me. The idea of becoming the most powerful dark lord actually made me excited – I felt I could get back at them. So I joined Snoke without another thought. In secret I built my own lightsaber, and started crafting my own armor."

Kylo reflect on how much time he'd spent creating his lightsaber. He'd seen ancient designs for that style of saber, but creating it from scratch had taken hours of craftsmanship and careful engineering. His armor had been of a crude design, but he had based it off some of the ancient Sith Lord's styles.

"I agreed to bring the Knights of Ren to the academy, and they assisted me in slaughtering my fellow students. It was easy, my classmates were so novice when it came to their Force and saber skills. But Luke, he killed three of the Knights of Ren defending his students. When I finally got to my uncle he was escaping, and I never saw him again." Kylo grew silent, for that was the end of his tale. The rest of his story was a reality that Rey was witnessing.

"I'm sorry, that things turned out the way they did," she whispered.

Kylo felt his brow knit together. "Why are you sorry," he asked with confusion mixed in his words.

"That you were suffering alone. That a dark lord took advantage of your loneliness," she replied softly.

Kylo remained quiet. He knew the Supreme Leader had seen him as vulnerable and his master had also seen an opportunity. But what Kylo was always uncertain of was whether his master had solely been helping himself, or if he'd been trying to help them both. He always hoped it was for mutual benefits, but he would never know with his master being outside his reach.

He watched as Rey finished the final bites of her meal. "I hope you know you don't suffer alone," she called to his attention. He stood up when Rey did, and they were both facing each other. She was very close to him, only a few inches away from him.

"Why do you say that," he asked.

"I'm here. I know how you feel, I spent my whole life alone. And I can say I won't let you suffer alone." She said quietly. "Loneliness is a burden no one should have to bear alone, not even you."

Never before had anyone understood his loneliness, not even his parents. Anytime they would call him via hologram he put on a happy front – he would tell them he was having a good time at Luke's Academy, and he would relay to them how he was learning so much. They never really knew how much sorrow he was in. Sometimes his mother could sense something was wrong, but it wasn't often. But no one ever seemed to notice it, but Rey had picked up on the hints a week ago, because she knew what seclusion felt like.

Even in her own lonely state she wanted to help him – she was a caring person through and through. Ren wanted her to help him feel alive again, but he knew he needed his pain to remain connected to the Dark Side.

Her murky brown eyes shifted around his face, and he knew she was waiting for him to say something – for him to do something.

Kylo felt his eyes sliding down around her face as well, soaking in every detail of her in this moment. He wanted to remember her this way – gentle, strong and beautiful. He desperately tried to keep his eyes off her lips, but he couldn't. Rey's lips were tantalizing as she gave him a timid smile.

Before he could even control himself, Ren found he was closing the gap between them. He grasped her cheek roughly and quickly kissed her. The moment his lips met hers, was the moment he tossed aside all common sense and rationality. It didn't matter what side they were on, or what was going on around them. He wanted her and didn't want to repress it for one more second.

Her lips were as soft as he'd imagined them, and she tasted sweet like fruit. Kylo kissed her gently at first – he was unsure if Rey was going to kiss him back or slap him. There was a moment of initial shock or uncertainty before Rey surprisingly kissed him back with equal fervor. He felt her lean into the kiss, and instinctively Ren wrapped his arms around her to pull her even closer.

Kylo felt his kiss became more demanding, as if he had a certain thirst for Rey that needed to be filled. Rey's head tilted which caused him to invade her mouth with fervor; he felt like his head was spinning out of control as his tongue was doing furious exploration in her mouth. His thumbs started caressing her cheeks in a very slow circular motion, and he felt Rey let out a soft moan that reverberate in his mouth.

That only drove Ren to hungrily pull at her bottom lip with a lusty passion. Never in his life had he ever had such lascivious feelings for someone, but he couldn't deny that Rey broke every exception. Accidentally, Kylo leaned her against the metal dining table. Rey's hand bumped against his helmet as she desperately tried to find a holding. In seconds, his helmet clattered to the floor with a heavy bang. Instantly, they both jolted pulled apart, Kylo's eyes opened slowly to see Rey starting at his with wide and bright eyes. Her lips were a rosy pink that graciously matched the color of her cheeks. Kylo felt heat rising in his own cheeks as the reality of what had transpired hit him like a brick. He had felt very confident about kissing her before, but now with her looking back at him his boldness faltered. Quickly, he grasped for his helmet and slide it on; he needed to mask his flushed cheeks. _By the gods, what line had he crossed_ , Kylo wondered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! I would really LOVE feedback on this chapter, what did you guys think of the end? Writing that ending really had me anxious that I might have included it to early. Anyways, things are going to romantically pick up after this chapter, so I hope that excites everyone! :) Per usual, the next chapter will be from Rey's perspective. I hope to have the next chapter up in six days, but with midterms coming we'll see.
> 
> I just want to send a thank you to all you anonymous kudos! You guys have been so wonderful, I just want to give you guys all hugs! You need to make accounts so that I can thank you all personally! :)
> 
> On a small note, I've resurrected my old tumblr account moonflower04, so feel free to follow me on there for updates, and Reylo stuff. Again, thank you for all the support! I hope you all have a wondrous weekend! :)


	15. Dueling With Desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Kylo Ren abducted Rey on Takodana, he had solely been seeking the map to Luke Skywalker from her. But once he felt Rey's connection to the Force, and learned of her ability to quell the war between dark and light within him – he knew there would be no letting her go so easily. Hopefully, she can see more than a monster in him. Rated M as of chapter 18. Slow burn Rey/Kylo

Rey had never been a person controlled by the whims of the moment. She was smart and had always kept a tight lid on her emotions. She wasn't cold and calculated, simply incisive when it came to showing emotion. On Jakku, showing too much compassion or trust had been a weakness and people like smugglers and fellow scavengers took advantage of that. Desire, lust and love – those were emotions Rey had reserved for no one.

Love had only been something she could fantasize about – about how it would feel to be desired, how she would react when someone kissed her. Rey had always imagined kissing someone that she had definable feelings for, someone she knew without a doubt she was in love with. But the one person who seemed to be shattering her ideals at the moment was none other than: Kylo Ren.

He was a man she was supposed to see as a monster. A man who had devoted his life to destroying the Light Side. A man who had sworn to kill every last Jedi in the galaxy. He was a man she was not supposed to even remotely like, let alone kiss. Yet there she was, kissing Kylo and melting in his arms like ice in a hot summer sun.

When he'd initially kissed her, she had felt this very electric feeling pass through her body, as if she was being paralyzed for a few moments. Her heart had been thundering so loud in her chest she couldn't even hear herself think. As the shock had worn off, Rey realized that she wanted to kiss him back. Kylo Ren was attractive, strong willed and under that harsh facade was a man who wanted affection as much as anyone else. He felt he was mighty enough to preserver through desolation alone, but Rey knew how painful isolation was, and she didn't want him to suffer alone.

Once she had started to mimic his kisses she felt the pace of their kiss increase in eroticism. Ravenously, she kissed him back, but his desire was even more vehement than her own. Eagerly, Rey tilted her head back slightly and audaciously his tongue had went about exploring her mouth. Their tongues danced in an unfamiliar rhythm before there was a method to their madness.

Rey felt his thumb brush her cheek gently, and before she could control herself: Rey let out a soft moan of pleasure. Waves of heat were swelling within her, and in every way her body was craving Kylo Ren. Something very primal, and unknown was awakening in Rey as she passionately kissed Kylo back.

She felt him lean her up against the dining table. Blindly, her hand search for a stable place to plant itself, but before she could safely place her hand down, she knocked something heavy over.

The sound of metal slamming against the floor startled Rey. She jumped out of her skin almost, and her eyes fluttered open immediately. On the floor was Kylo Ren's mask, she realized that now. Quickly, her eyes shot back up to Kylo who was picking up his helmet and putting it on.

Ren's cheeks were flushed a bright shade of scarlet as he slipped his obsidian colored mask on. She knew he was trying to hide what he had felt, but there was no way she was going to allow him to hide. Honestly, she didn't want him to hide.

Rey grabbed his hands and attempted to stop him from putting his helmet on, but alas she was too slow. Kylo grasped her hands and blocked her.

"What do you think you're doing?" He demanded.

"I'm trying to take off your mask, you don't need it. You don't need to hide anymore," she insisted. He was always wearing that helmet to disguise who he really was – which was none other than Ben Solo.

"I'm not hiding. I need–." That's when Rey cut him off.

"You're hiding behind that mask. We both know it. I like seeing your face, that's why I asked you not wear it while we're training." Rey stated, honestly.

Even under his thick black robes, Rey saw Kylo stiffen at her words. He towered over he as usual, but she stood her ground. For the first time ever, Kylo backed down.

Slowly, Ren lifted his arms and with a loud hiss Rey watched as he removed his mask again. Black locks of hair toppled out from under his helmet and fell perfectly into place. Rey felt her breath get caught in her throat as his dark irises settled on her with a lustful gleam in them.

That's when Rey leaned in and kissed him, gently. She kept it soft, sensual and the way his lips tickled hers were arousing. She wrapped her arms around his neck – languidly Rey ran her fingers through his soft ebony hair. She had never felt silk before, but she was certain his hair felt like the most heavenly silk.

Kylo's one empty hand rest on her hip and he pulled her closer to himself as their tongues clashed in a fight of equal grace and passion. His tongue ran along her lower lip, every once and a while, which caused Rey to shiver in delight.

She could feel the Force mingling in their kiss as waves of energy charging around them – intensifying the power of their embrace. Never did she believe she could derive such ecstasy from kissing someone, especially Kylo Ren.

The moment was fleeting as Kylo's lip pulled away. They were both breathless, and his nose brushed against her cheek as he furthered the distance between their lips. Slowly, Rey opened her eyes, her stomach was uneasy, as if rathtars were wreaking havoc in there. She wasn't sure what his expression would be, and it unnerved her. When she opened her eyes she saw his irises were bright, with what she perceived as satisfaction.

There they stood, just stared at each other with heated gazes, and neither of them knew what to say. What could she say? What did people who were supposed to hate each other say after they kissed?

Rey wasn't even certain how she felt about Kylo Ren anymore. After that – after she had kissed him – she knew it was undeniable. Kylo Ren was titillating to her.

Kylo retracted his palm from her hip and instead he grabbed her hand and took it in his own. "I think I've distracted you long enough," he said with a sly smirk.

While carrying his helmet he guided her out of the dining area and back into the hallway. Rey felt her stomach clench. The whole dynastic of their partnership had changed drastically, and she wasn't certain what that would mean, or where it would lead. Their arrangement was still about Kylo Ren getting the map to Luke Skywalker, but now the playing field had shifted and she didn't know how so yet.

Clandestinely, Kylo guided her through the hallways, and toward what she assumed was the training room. She wasn't paying as close attention as she should have been to her surroundings. Everything around her seemed to be moving in a blur, and time itself didn't seemed to be defined. Rey felt her brain was still reeling had happened in that dining room.

She couldn't even wrap her head around it. It hadn't been a fit of passion that caused her to kiss him but, but rather a slow release of withheld desire. Since her dream, Rey had wondered what it would be like to kiss Kylo Ren, but she hadn't imagined it would actually happen or be as enjoyable as it had been. He has always been so reserved and confident – but she had seen his confidence drain after the initial kiss. She had kissed him the second time to make him understand, she wanted him too.

They had reached the training room without any problems. No patrols had stopped them, and no one had seen Kylo without his mask on.

To her surprise, Ren set his mask on a small pedestal by the door. She hadn't anticipated that, he always was strict about wearing his mask while training.

Rey was about to sit down and meditate, but Kylo motioned for her to stand.

"Meditation will not be necessary. We are going to start right away."

Rey was about to protest, her mind was too muddled to even function, less alone learn. Clearing her mind was a necessity at the moment. But she discontentedly stopped herself from speaking – she didn't want Kylo to snap at her.

From off his belt, Kylo removed what looked like two crudely constructed sabers.

"They are low power sabers, used for training younglings. At worse they will burn you a little. Now give me your offensive stance." He tossed one to Rey and confidently she caught it.

Without hesitation, she turned it on to see the light blue blade extend itself out. Quickly, Rey positioned her feet equally apart and she kept her knees slightly bent so she was ready to move. Her arms were placed slight to her right side and her shoulders were squared.

Ren paced around her – his eyes were gazing over her form. "Good, a typical, strong stance. Now transition to a defensive position."

Rey shifted her feet slightly, and her arms moved directly in front of herself.

"Good, you have the right idea," he surprisingly praised her.

That's when Kylo turned on his saber to reveal a dull, red blade. He stalked around her one more time before her settled directly in front of her. Without a moment's notice Ren lunged and tried to strike her, but adeptly she blocked it by drawing the blade sideways, away from her body.

"Good always be ready for your opponent to strike," he stated. His face was only a few inches from her own.

Arduously, he shoved her back and she lost her footing. Rey stumbled, and quickly she jumped back to block another one of Kylo's swings. She pulled her blade up in time to shield herself from another stab to the side. Hastily, she pushed him and dove in to impale Ren in the arm, but he side-stepped it and slashed his blade right into her leg.

Rey gritted her teeth, the burn from his saber wasn't excruciating, but rather annoying. She was used to diving in with her staff – she usually had range on her targets. Using a lightsaber was going to require a shift in her fighting style.

What bothered her even more was Kylo Ren's smug smirk. "You should never dive in. You leave yourself too vulnerable."

That prideful smile drove Rey up the wall – she was going to show him what she was capable of now. Hastily, she picked herself back up and took to the defensive.

Ren attacked again, but this time Rey started to pay attention to his fighting style. The dark lord's strikes were quick and aggressive, he mostly focused his fire on her body. His plan was to constantly keep her on the defensive, which meant he probably didn't know how to deal with counter aggression.

Rey repeatedly dodged his strikes – she remained agile on her feet. He was a little slower because his attacks required more momentum. There was waves of frustration as he continued to assault her with a relentless string of strikes. Kylo was expecting to have bested her by now – she knew it.

She blocked his skillful barrage of slashes at her abdomen. Rey took a few steps back and tried an overhead smash. Viciously, her saber clashed with his – sparks of light flew and she saw Kylo's feet slide a little on the floor. Rey knew he was a little off balanced so she kicked him in the stomach. Kylo was sent crashing to the ground with a thud. She held the tip of the saber to his face and gave him a wryly smirk.

"Always such a quick study," he said with a clenched jaw. His dark eyes were fiery when he pulled himself off the floor. "We will see how well you fare against more skilled attacks."

"We will see," Rey said, but she couldn't stop smiling.

* * *

They had practiced for many more hours before Kylo Ren had called their lesson to an end. The dark lord seemed a little peeved that he hadn't beaten her more frequently. Rey had really improved with the saber rapidly – her skill was nowhere near Ren's yet, but she was hopeful.

The remainder of her follies were the red burns that were scattered around her body. But she had received worse during her time on Jakku. Kylo was escorting back to her cell. He was still carrying his mask in one hand, and holding her hand in the other. She was always surprised how gentle he was with her, especially when she had seen how vicious he was when it came to dueling.

He put in the security code and the door for her cell opened. Ren pulled her in and for a second she thought he might kiss her again, but he didn't. Instead he let her hand free, and stopped next to her.

"I know you probably want to avoid the subject, but why did you kiss me?" She asked tactlessly.

"I wanted to." He stated simply. "And I always do what I want."

Rey wasn't sure what she had expected him to say, but she hadn't expected that. Unfortunately, she couldn't wipe the frown off her face.

"That's too simple," she muttered as she folded her hands in front of her chest.

His eyes were expressing mild irritation toward her. "What do you want me to say? Why did you kiss me back in the first place? And why did you kiss me the second time?"

She wanted to be honest, to tell him that she found him attractive and had wanted him to know she desired him too. But she couldn't bring herself to be that open, not until she truly knew how he felt. That this wasn't just him toying with her, or trying to tempt her closer to the Dark Side.

"I– I... wanted to get even," she replied, unconvincingly. She saw Kylo's brow cock up in a curious fashion.

"That's too simple," Ren mocked her, with a beguiling little smirk on his pale, pink lips.

"That's not fair," she snapped. "I just really want to know the truth. Is this part of some plan to twist me to the Dark Side? I guess, I want to know if your feelings are genuine."

Kylo remained silent, he didn't speak but that charming little smirk was still planted upon his lips. Instead of replying in a traditional sense, Ren took her hand in his and left one hot, sensuous kiss on the back of her hand. The whole time his dark, coquettish eyes never left her face, and she felt shivers of pleasure barrel down her spine. Rey felt as if the air in her lungs was trapped and she could hardly breathe. It was as if the power in his gaze was holding it captive.

"I hope that's a good enough answer," he whispered. "I'll be back tomorrow, later than usual." That's when Kylo Ren put on his mask on again, and left her alone – alone with her own unexpressed desires.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, well I finally got this chapter done, and I hope you all enjoyed the kiss from Rey's perspective. I wanted to thank all of you who left reviews! You guys were so sweet and I'm glad that everyone was excited. Things after next chapter are going to start picking up quickly, so I hope everyone is pumped for that! Please leave a review if you have time, that would be amazingly appreciated, let me know what you think of Rey and Kylo's relationship thus far. Again, thank you for reading and have a good day! :)


	16. Open Threats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Kylo Ren abducted Rey on Takodana, he had solely been seeking the map to Luke Skywalker from her. But once he felt Rey's connection to the Force, and learned of her ability to quell the war between dark and light within him – he knew there would be no letting her go so easily. Hopefully, she can see more than a monster in him. Rated E as of chapter 18. Slow burn Rey/Kylo

It was early when Kylo Ren left his room to attend the Executive Board meeting. He knew his entrance would not be too early, which was what he intended. Dark Lords always arrived fashionably late, and Ren liked to stick to that standard. Maybe it was something he had picked up from his father, he was never certain.

His movements were sluggish and he was tired from the lack of sleep he had gotten. Last night his mind had been full of thoughts about Rey, and he had picked apart every detail that had happened that day. Their passionate kisses had been locked in his mind, and it had played over and over like a hologram stuck on repeat. The feeling of her lips was something he couldn't forget – and it haunted him wherever he went. He wanted to kiss her again and his desires couldn't deny it.

He couldn't wait for this meeting to end, for then he would get to see Rey again and that made the Dark Lord a tad nervous. It was not fear of her that was holding him, but rather this excited anxiety of delving into a changing companionship. He was nervous about what would transpire between them today. He was nervous of how exhilarating and calming it was to be in her presences – it was a paradox he couldn't understand. He was nervous of this new effect Rey was starting to have on him, everything about her was intoxicating – her, face, her eyes, her skin, her lips, her smell, her voice and her power.

When he finally arrived at the Executive Council meeting, things were in disarray. General Hux was trying to call the meeting to order, but there was too much arguing and talking. The officers were debating among themselves who would make most viable candidates for Major Brandson's replacement. A few times Kylo Ren heard Captain Phasma's name resonate through the noise. He couldn't be happier that things were falling into place as they should.

The Dark Lord's eyes brushed over the officers, and to his surprise Major Harding was even present. The Major's leg was in a brace, but otherwise he looked fine. He must have gotten to the medical bay in time to fix his leg up. If Harding had been compliant from the beginning, he could have avoided a lot of grief.

The loud obnoxious banter was starting to get to Ren. These officers were wasting his time chatting, and he was an impatient man. Angrily, Kylo pulled out his lightsaber and turned it on and scraped the blade against the floor. As he did so, sparks of molten metal showered across the table, and the room went dead silent. The sound of his lightsaber's rhythmic hum filled the emptiness where conversation had once been.

"I'm glad we could calm things down." Kylo Ren said as his eyes swept over the other officers. He turned his saber off and attached it back on his belt. The others were looking at him with fearful glances – just as they should be.

Hux cleared his throat. "I would like to call this meeting to order. We have old business to discuss, but before we get to that, I would like to address some new business. Major Brandson died from a drug overdose, so we must vote in a new member to replace him."

"I will open the table up for suggestions." The General said authoritatively, as his eyes skimmed over the Council.

There was a thick silence, and Kylo refused to nominate Captain Phasma. She had even suggested he just simply vote for her so he didn't draw too much suspicion to himself. But with no one speaking up, he wasn't certain if he should just nominate her himself.

Finally Major Justicin spoke up, he was a mousy man, who had a brilliant mind for tactics. "I would like to nominate Captain Phasma as a candidate."

The room remained still, until General Hux spoke. "I will allow the nomination of Captain Phasma to be discussed. Any opinions?"

"I think she would make an excellent addition to the Council. She's worked hard for three years without any addition to her rank." It was Colonel Dawson that ironically spoke. He was one of the men Kylo had threatened to vote for her.

General Hux's eyebrow rose just a little in curiosity. "We have two in favor. Should we take a vote?"

"I think we should proceed with a vote." Major Harding prompted. The man's eyes never left Kylo Ren. There was layers of suppressed fear in those blue irises of his, Ren could see it.

"All in favor of making Captain Phasma a member of the Executive War Council say _Aye_."

There was at least ten in agreement including General Hux himself. The redhead give a faint smile as he called things back to order. "Do we have any objections?"

His request was again met with nothing, and it seemed everyone was too afraid to speak against her.

Kylo felt a little smirk surface from under his mask. He had done his job well, it seemed anyone who objected was holding their tongue in trepidation.

"Shall we call Captain Phasma to the meeting? After all she is our newest member and her opinions should be valued." Kylo asked, he liked the idea of Captain Phasma's being involved and she deserved to be here with the rest of them.

Hux narrowed his eyes at the Dark Lord before he spoke again. "Of course, how could I forget. Colonel Dawson, please call Captain Phasma here and excuse her from her duties."

The Colonel nodded and left the room to call Captain Phasma. It wasn't long until he returned with Captain Phasma in his presence. She was adorned in her usual silver armor that reflected the whole room in her wake. There was an eagerness in her gait as she took a seat next to General Hux.

"Now that the Captain is here, we can discuss our old business. We need to finalize a time to destroy D'Qar and the Illeniemm System. Our intelligence was reported that the Resistance is gathering their troops on D'Qar as we speak. They are mounting a counter strike against us." General Hux reported.

"Let them," Kylo said calmly. "If we allow them to rally themselves we will kill more of those rats, which means we spend less time cleaning them up."

"That's a fair point." Captain Phasma agreed. "I know what it's like to have to clean up. I suggest we let them rally just a few days longer before we strike. We know once we kill them they'll be wiped off the map."

The look on the General's face was pure shock. Obviously he hadn't expected both Kylo and Phasma to team up against him. "But we can't handle an assault too large," Hux countered. "We shouldn't wait," the General said adamantly.

"If you're worried, we can have Captain Phasma increase the shields around the thermal oscillator. That should bolster our defenses." This time it was Major Harding that spoke, and he supported their plan to Ren's surprise. The Major was just trying to make amends for his lack of cooperation with Kylo himself.

"If we wait with the attack, we will probably spend six months cleaning up what's left of the Resistance. If we strike now we will spend a year destroying them," Captain Phasma said matter-of-factly.

The officers seemed to mutter their agreement amongst each other. Captain Phasma seemed to be appealing to the Council more than Kylo expected for a new member.

The look of discontent on Hux's face was undeniable. Even as they had a majority vote to delay the attack, the irritation was still visible on Hux's face. Captain Phasma was proving to be a steadfast ally in which Kylo Ren had not predicted.

General Hux adjourned the meeting in frustration. He was a man who liked to be in control, and having things going his way was always what happened at these meetings. Captain Phasma's ideas that went against his wishes had obviously pissed him off.

Kylo Ren left the Council chambers and was about to head to the cell block where Rey was, but Captain Phasma stepped in front of him. She was tall and it was odd looking another trooper in the eyes. It was rare that anyone was as tall as him or taller; Kylo Ren quite enjoyed towering over everyone else here.

"Lord Ren, I wanted to thank you for helping me. I know I was a bit harsh the last time we spoke, but I would never have gotten where I was without you. Even though women are allowed in the ranks, it doesn't mean everything is fair. I just wanted to thank you for allowing me to be the first woman on the Executive Council." She sounded quite humble which was different from their previous encounter.

"Just don't blackmail ever again." He stated, sharply. "And – you're welcome."

Captain Phasma straightened herself just a little more. "I had never blackmailed anyone before, and I was more nervous than I would admit. You have my word, I won't do it again. And I promise, I'll try my best to keep the girl in cell 110 safe."

Kylo nodded his approval. "You better protect her." He warned, even with his synthetic voice he was surprised how aggressive his voice sounded. "If she's so much as missing a few hairs on her head, you'll be answering for it."

"Of course, my Lord." With that Phasma left in a hurry. It seemed she was heading straight to the cell block, probably to check on Rey. Kylo couldn't stop a smirk that appeared under his mask. Soon he would be visiting Rey to continue her training, and in all honesty he was a little nervous.

After yesterday, everything had changed between them. Their kiss had drastically re-sculpted their relationship. He had expected his bold kiss to be met with resistance, most likely a slap to the face. But instead Rey had kissed him back with equal desire. Now every time Ren thought of the scavenger girl – excitement and slight anxiety would flare up inside him. It was inane to be anxious, but he couldn't ignore or deny the existence of his growing fondness for her.

"It seems you and Captain Phasma have some type of agreement going on between you," Kylo's attention was called from a particular redhead that was standing behind him.

"Nothing is going on between us," Ren insisted to the General.

"You two seemed to take sides against me very quickly," Hux said bitterly.

"Maybe because we both have worked together frequently and have a similar understanding of what it's like to have to fight out there," Ren liked to perturb General Hux as much as possible, it was his duty to keep Hux sharp.

"I know you two think you're superior to me, but I'll have you know I've been studying tactics for longer than you can imagine. I know what's best for this order and waiting to attack isn't," Hux said with vigor.

Kylo couldn't help but smile under his mask. It was entertaining how upset Hux was, and Ren knew the General was frustrated at how little control he'd had at the meeting. Kylo wanted to apply pressure to Hux's wounded pride.

"We voted, and it seems the Council thinks waiting is best," he concluded, smugly.

The General turned a brilliant shade of magenta, and his eyes became livid. "You just suggested the idea so you could spent extra time with your new fascination," Hux spat.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I suggested what was best for the First Order." Ren felt his shoulders tighten. He tried to relax himself, but there was something so unnerving about Hux bringing Rey into their confrontation.

"If you think you can keep the girl safe from me, you're wrong," the General hissed maliciously. "I will make her give me the map, and I prove I'm better than you to the Supreme Leader."

"You so much as touch Rey, you'll regret it. The Supreme Leader has let me have her. I will bring her to the Dark Side and get the map. You know I always get what I want," Ren fought back. Even though he threatened to bring Rey to the Dark Side, he wasn't certain he had the strength to fulfill his claim. She was too good, too pure but he wasn't going to inform Hux of his own internal turmoil.

Hux stood at attention, his hand crossed behind his back. "I know you always get what you want. You've been handed everything by the Supreme Leader without having to work for it, and I will prove to him that you can't handle the responsibility."

Kylo Ren felt his fists involuntarily clench. The audacity of General Hux was sickening, and Ren had to physically stop himself from choking Hux. "Stay out of my business," Kylo hissed under his mask. "You touch Rey and I'll destroy you personally."

"You wouldn't dare, you're threats are empty." Hux shot back – his face was beginning to paint itself a bright shade of red.

"Test me," Kylo growled. "Try taking Rey from me and see what happens," his voice sounded nothing short of feral.

"You shouldn't make threats you won't be able to hold." General Hux said, and he slowly backed away. "I will prove to the Supreme Leader which one of us is more efficient. I promise it won't be you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry for the delayed chapter, I got the flu so I was writing a lot slower. Thank you for all the support and wonderful reviews! I know this chapter was a tad slow, but next chapter there will be an explosion of action, so stay tuned! If you have time please leave a quick comment about what you thought of the chapter. Again, thank you so much for taking the time to read. :)


	17. Captured

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Kylo Ren abducted Rey on Takodana, he had solely been seeking the map to Luke Skywalker from her. But once he felt Rey's connection to the Force, and learned of her ability to quell the war between dark and light within him – he knew there would be no letting her go so easily. Hopefully, she can see more than a monster in him. Rated E as of chapter 18. Slow burn Rey/Kylo

Rey carved her ninth mark into her metal cell wall. It had been over a week that she'd been a prisoner and apprentice here on this First Order base. It was odd to think that so much had transpired between her and Kylo Ren since her capture back on Takodana.

Her head was still struggling to understand why Kylo Ren had kissed her in such an erotic manner, and part of her was still reeling from the fact that she'd kissed him with equal fervor. All night she had thought about it, and how she wanted kiss him again. Just the fact that she wanted to kiss him again made her question her sanity a little.

She was supposed to hate Kylo Ren, he had tortured her, threatened her, and nearly killed her. But all that seemed so distant even if it had been only been about a week ago. On some level, Ren was now trying to amend for his violent actions against her. Kylo had been kind – he was trying his best to teach her how to master the Force. He was making sure her needs were met and he was offering her protection from General Hux.

Rey found him attractive and profoundly caring for someone that was supposed to treat her like a prisoner. Rey knew she shouldn't like him still, but part of her felt compelled to the mysterious Dark Lord that everyone thought was inherently evil. Under that dark facade was a man that was good – a man who had been warped from his internal suffering.

Rey still couldn't forget how she had felt his Force energy mingle with hers during their kiss. It had been waves of energy, like an electric field of charged emotions and intensified desire. She could feel some of his emotions resonating through that field. Mixed in the field she's felt his pain, and she had connected with it. The pain of not being understood and being lonely – those were feelings she knew all too well, and if she could help heal his pain – she would.

Yesterday she'd been too afraid to tell him that she even liked him. Today maybe she would let him know how she felt. It seemed risky, but what was any true, passionate affair without risk.

Rey internally groaned. The word _affair_ was the best way to describe what was going on between them. They didn't have a relationship, for all they shared was passionate, secret moments. And she wasn't sure their feelings could really be more, not in this predicament. The toxic environment of the First Order didn't seem like the ideal place for a relationship to blossom – especially not with General Hux looming in the distance.

Viciously, she started to pace around her cell – this enclosure was too confined and it was making her restless. For the first time, Rey desperately wanted to see Kylo Ren. She couldn't comprehend why being away from him was starting to kill her softly. Rey needed to find a way to relax and calm herself, she couldn't afford to be so discombobulated around Kylo.

Maybe a meditation was in order, she needed to gather her wild feelings and restain them a little more. Training would be more taxing if she couldn't maintain her focus. Rey took a seat on the ground, and tried her best to relax. For at least twenty minutes she sat there fidgeting, and she was unable to calm herself. After thirty minutes Rey just crawled back on her bed where she sat.

It would be a long wait, but she decided just simply waiting for Kylo Ren might prove to be her best option. Her nerves were too frazzled to actually meditate. Rey sighed, this was going to make for a very long day.

* * *

Kylo Ren opened the door of her cell much later than usual. She knew he'd had some sort of meeting, but she had anticipated his return earlier. She'd tried her luck again at a morning meditation, but it still had proven indubitably more difficult than she'd expected. Rey had been focusing on containing her feelings, and much to her chagrin she'd been failing. Now in Ren's presence she was finding it impossible to keep her emotions of happiness and desire at bay.

Nonchalantly, Kylo Ren entered with an semi-confident gait. Rey could see tension locked in his body and for a second she thought he was nervous, but she shook the silly thought from her mind. His shoulders were tense and she could see his fists were balled slightly. She wondered what had Kylo Ren so uptight; could it have been something that happened at that meeting of his? It didn't really matter whatever it was – there was probably nothing she could do about it.

Instinctively, she stood up from sitting on her bed – her feet were carrying her toward Ren and a small smirk was starting to gather on her face. Him being so tense made her feel like he needed hug. Instantly, she threw out the idea of holding back her desire. Why should she hide what she felt? Rey decided it was best to be honest with herself and her feelings for Kylo. She'd always been an honest person, why should she stop now?

Quickly, Rey closed the gap between them as she drew Kylo into a tight hug. She could feel shock running through his body initially, but he returned her hug swiftly.

"I missed you, Ben." She murmured straight into his black robes. The smell of the manly Naboo flowers, Ryoos, tickled her nose as she leaned into Ben. She remembered he used Ryoos scented soap, and it made her nostrils tingle.

"You act like I've been away for a week." His tone sounded so light-hearted compared to how tense he felt. She could sense his lean muscles slightly under his robes, but they were relaxing which caused Rey's smile to widden.

"I was just being honest. Plus this cell doesn't offer much in the form of entertainment," she muttered into his robes. Never before had she noticed that his robes were a shiny, jet black that reflected small amounts of light. Rey found the fabric fascinating – she had never seen anything so lavish.

Kylo was quiet for a long while before he spoke away. "Why do you always insist on calling me Ben? You know I despise it."

"I like to think Ben is elicited from a time of innocence, when you were still good. I hope calling you Ben will be enough to evoke the light back into you. But if you don't like it, I can save Ben for special occasions," she smiled up at him. Though she couldn't see his face she could imagine a rueful smirk planted upon his lips. "How about I only call you Ben when I'm absolutely, incandescently happy."

"If you so desire. I assume there's no changing your mind, you're far too stubborn for that." Even through his synthetic voice she could tell he was teasing her just a little. He pulled her a little closer, before he let her go and put an arm's length between them.

It was as if he was observing her and Rey felt it was unfair for she could not see his face. She loved his dark brown eyes that seemed unfathomable. And his ebony hair that always fell perfectly into place, and would shine in the florescent light. But her favorite feature was his dull, pink lips that stood out against his pale skin. She wanted to see his face badly, but she would not admit it.

"Shall we go to the training room?" Kylo asked as he placed his gloved hand against her cheek. Involuntarily, Rey felt herself lean into his hand – even through his glove she could feel the heat emitted from his body.

"We should train. You need to teach me how to block blaster shots with a lightsaber," she murmured to him.

"I'll teach you how to defend yourself from blasters again. Let us go now." Kylo gestured for her to exit first. As she did so, she let her hand brush against his robes. To her shock, she watched him shiver in her wake. Rey smirked, for she had no idea she had such a strong effect on him. But she was glad things were mutual – and that he was still as human as her.

* * *

Their training session was short and Kylo seemed to be struggling now to defeat her in their sparring. Her skills with her staff were proving to be highly useful. She already knew the basics of self defense, but now she was just learning the nuances of the lightsaber in comparison to a staff.

They were walking back together, and Kylo Ren's gloved hand kept brushing against her own. Every time his hand touched hers goose bumps threatened to sweep through her body. As they reached her cell, Rey couldn't help but think of this morning and how stressed Kylo had been when he'd arrived.

"Why were you so stressed out this morning, did it have something to do with the meeting?" She asked, carefully.

Even under his mask, Rey heard Kylo Ren sigh. "These Executive Council meetings are always so annoying. Especially because I have to be exposed to the politics of the First Order. And General Hux is proving to be a thorn in my side."

Rey remembered Ren talking about how Hux was provoking him by threatening her. Every time he spoke of it she found his protective attitude sweet. She wondered what Hux was up to this time and if he was still threatening to take her. "General Hux is bothering you, how so," she questioned.

"He keeps threatening to take you away from me. He wants the map to prove to the Supreme Leader how he's more competent than me." Kylo said – his voice was a mixture of anger and hatred.

Rey fought down a small smirk. "If he ever comes after me, I can handle myself. But I'm touched that you care so much for my well being. Before you said this was about protecting the map, but I see you've changed your tune."

Kylo folded his arms in front of his chest. "This is about the map, but I also don't want to see you hurt. I can't afford for Hux to get the map first. If General Hux comes here, call to me. You've felt me talk in your mind before, you are capable of the same thing. Just call to me."

She nodded her understanding. It wasn't long ago Kylo had spoke in her mind when her guard was down.

"I won't let him harm you," Kylo said and he took her in his arms and hugged her. There was a certain security Rey felt in his embrace that she'd never felt before. It seemed foreign feeling protected, on Jakku she'd never felt totally relaxed.

Rey was surprised by his hug, but she smiled and lean up to kiss the front of his mask. It was like kissing ice, and it sent chills through her body.

"I know you won't," she pulled away from him and Rey knew he reluctantly let go. Rey wished she could spend more time with Kylo, but she knew her meal would be here soon.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Ben. Remember you told me you would teach how to lift that huge cylinder in your training room," she smiled at him.

"How could I forget. I'll be here a bit earlier in the morning so you have plenty of time to practice. Good night, Rey," he responded. For a short second Rey could have sworn she heard happiness in his robotic voice. Rey smirked at him as the door closed in front her.

Rey sat down on the cold metal floor and waited for her meal. Nothing had prepared her for hearing happiness in Ben's voice. Could she really be bringing joy into his life? If she was: then she was starting to make a difference in his life that she'd never anticipated.

Alone she sat, as her thoughts were consumed with Ben Solo and the bliss she felt just from thinking of him. The chances of bringing him back to the light seemed to be growing, and that made Rey very hopeful, and she prayed her hope was not misplaced.

* * *

The sound of a door opening jolted Rey from her peaceful slumber. Normally she was up when Kylo Ren came to her cell. She remember he said he would be here early, but this was an odd surprise him arriving at this hour. Rey sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

Things came into focus right away, and that's when she noticed it was not Kylo Ren at her door, but a short man with red hair. This man had a black uniform that screamed of the upper echelon. He stood very regally with his arms pinned behind his back and his eyes green eyes were as potent as lasers.

Without needing to be told, Rey knew it was General Hux, and that had invited himself to her cell. This meant she was going to be in for trouble any second now.

"I see why Kylo Ren is so fond of you. You're a pretty one." General Hux said snidely.

Rey crossed her arms in front of her chest and gave Hux a grave look. "What Kylo Ren thinks is neither of our businesses. But we both know you shouldn't be here. He told me about you, about what kind of person you are."

"You have me curious, what does Kylo Ren say about me exactly?" Hux's response was forbidding.

"He said you are a twisted man, who enjoys making his life difficult. That you're always trying to best him any way you can. And from what I see, I would agree with him." Rey felt her brow knit together and her eyes narrowed.

 _Kylo, are you there?_ For the first time Rey openly called to him through the Force. Never before had she ever voluntarily let him in her mind, but she knew he possessed the ability to access her thoughts. It wouldn't be the first time Kylo Ren had been inside her head.

 _Kylo please answer me, I need your help._ Again her plea was met with silence. Where the hell was he when she needed him? Probably sleeping, she thought in horror, which meant she was on her own. She decided to try and keep the conversation rolling so maybe Kylo would come for her.

"How feisty. I see why Kylo Ren keeps you around, you have spirit." There was so much wickedness in the way he spoke that Rey felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

"Grab the girl and bring her to my personal quarters," Hux commanded, and Rey's hope of biding her time flew out the window.

The Stormtroopers he had brought with him were about to enter the cell, but Rey sprang into action. Quickly, she conjured a Force push to send all of them flying and as fast as her feet could take her, Rey took off.

Just as she was about to get passed the guards, she felt someone grab her foot. Her feet gave way and she found herself crashing to the metal floor. Swiftly, Rey attempted to pull herself up and run again, but General Hux was grappling into her foot.

"You're not getting away so easily," he was hissing at her. "Guards grab her."

"Get your disgusting, pig hands off me," Rey shouted angrily.

Their shouts resonated down the hall, and that's when Rey saw troopers funneling into the cell block to grab her. Her heart was thundering in her chest as she worked on struggling free of Hux's iron-like grip. Finally, she kicked him in arm which caused his grip to weaken. Rey crawled off the ground but she was surrounded.

 _Kylo, I need help, now._ By the gods, she hoped he was hearing her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I hope you enjoyed that little cliffhanger! ;)
> 
> Please everyone reading, tell me what you thought of this chapter. I've noticed I lost a lot of readers at this chapter, so I could really use some honest feedback, and I really hope I'm not upsetting people. Thank you for reading and leave me some feedback if you can! Have a wonderful week, you lovely readers! :)
> 
> Thank you to those of you who have been taking the time to comment, it really means a lot to hear from people! Happy Star Wars Day, May the Fourth Be With You! :)


	18. A Cry for Normalcy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Kylo Ren abducted Rey on Takodana, he had solely been seeking the map to Luke Skywalker from her. But once he felt Rey's connection to the Force, and learned of her ability to quell the war between dark and light within him – he knew there would be no letting her go so easily. Hopefully, she can see more than a monster in him. Rated E as of chapter 18. Slow burn Rey/Kylo

Soft whispers stirred Kylo Ren from his sleep. Abruptly he sat up and looked around to see there was no one in his room. Kylo laid his head back on the pillow – he beginning to believe he was going insane or maybe Rey was just making him crazy.

For the last three nights she was in his dreams or maybe it was really his fantasies. The dreams were always them meeting by accident at a cantina or flea market, normal places. It was as if his brain was crying for normalcy for them. In his dream they would always hit it off right away. All afternoon or evening they would chat, eventually he would invite her over, and that's when things would get wild. They would start kissing, and things would escalate until they were having rampant sex. There was always something carnal yet intimate about the way him and Rey made love in his dreams. It felt so real, and when he woke up Kylo felt like a horny teenager just fantasizing about the woman he couldn't have.

But Rey – Rey was a woman that wanted him and he felt lucky for that. She was beautiful with her tan skin, perfect facial features, hazel eyes and sharply body. After Rey had kissed him and he'd tasted her desire for him; Ren'd wanted to ravish her until she only yearned for him. Ren wasn't certain if she'd ever been with another man, but if she had, he wanted to erase any trace of any other man from her memory. He wanted to pleasure her in a way no one had before, which was almost selfless coming from him. But Kylo felt the need to please Rey – maybe it was because he knew no one had really made her happy in her life. He'd felt her loneliness during their interrogation and Kylo wanted her to understand how much he desired her.

He ran his hand through his hair with frustration, for now he was awake and trying to calm himself. But he couldn't deny that his cock was as hard as a tree, and his lecherous memories of Rey still ran wild in his mind.

Ren didn't waste a second as he threw the covers over his head to block out the tantilizing memories of his dream. He just wanted to get the necessary sleep he needed, otherwise he would be sluggish when it came to training Rey. And he couldn't have himself being completely shown up by her. He'd just gotten comfortable when he heard a scream of desperation.

Kylo, I need help, now. Rey's voice echoing in his skull and he could almost sense the fear that she was experiencing. Instantly, Kylo's eyes jolted open and he sat up.

_Rey, what's going on?_ Without hesitation Ren jumped out of bed and started to grasp at any clothing he could find. He slipped on a black t-shirt, a pair of black pants and he started pulling on a pair of ebony boots. He was putting on his robes when he called to Rey again.

_Rey you better answer me, where are you? What's happening?_ He was met only with an eerie silence that left him concerned.

A million things were running through Kylo's mind – why was Rey silent? Where was she? Was she hurt or suffering somewhere? Who was messing with her?

He had a suspicion that Hux was involved, so Kylo picked up his helmet and put it on. Ren wasn't certain where to start his search, so he headed straight toward the cell block. Never before had he walked with such an urgency in his stride. Troopers scattered as they saw him storm through the hallways – they feared what he might do.

When he arrived at the cell block he found it desolate, not a patrol or Stormtrooper present. Ren went to Rey's cell and found it was clear, the only thing that remained was the stack of blankets he'd given her. His frustration was growing – where would Hux take Rey, he wondered.

Maybe he had taken her directly to the interrogation wing to get the map from her. Kylo started on his journey to the interrogation block. There was a good chance that twisted bastard was being ruthless enough to torture Rey. Just the thought of Rey being in pain was making him even more desperate to find her.

_Damn it Rey, answer me._ The Dark Lord was trying to calm his perturbed attitude, but to no avail. He would not relax until Rey was safe again. Angrily Kylo opened every cell in the interrogation block to find them all empty. In the last room he couldn't even contain his rage anymore.

"No, No. _No._ " Kylo Ren screamed in unadulterated anger. He pulled out his lightsaber and beat it against the walls in fury. He swirled his saber and dug it into the metal. Molten metal chunks flew in the air and sparks showered him.

Why had he not foreseen this? This was his fault, if he'd never taunted Hux none of this would have happened. _You so much as touch Rey, you'll regret it._ The words played over in his head now like a mantra. What an idiot he'd been, that had been a damn invitation for the feisty General.

He didn't care anymore, he just wanted Rey away from Hux. Ren just wanted to know she was safe, at this moment her safety was of top priority. Kylo was about to find some Stormtroopers and question them on whether they'd seen Rey, until a glimmer of hope hit him.

_Kylo, he took me to his room_ , relief washed over him as Rey's sweet voice played in his head. He could hear pain mixed in her call for help.

_Who? Who took you?_ He demanded. I will break them. He hissed in their minds.

_General Hux took me._ The Dark Lord's feet stopped in place.

_I'll be there shortly, don't worry._ Ren told her, and again Rey went quiet.

Kylo plowed his way through the hallways and he allowed nothing to stop him. Stormtroopers that got in his way were pushed aside using the Force. Nothing was going to block him from getting to Rey she needed him.

Hux's chamber was far away from the interrogation cells and that fact was bothering him more than anything. In such a short time Hux could do a plethora of wicked things to Rey.

Finally after what seemed like the longest twenty minutes of his life – he'd completed his trudge across Starkiller Base and reached the hallway where Hux slept. He'd never been inside the General's suite and it still felt like a violation of his privacy, but Ren didn't care.

Kylo used the Force to open the locked door and without any hesitation he entered. Hux had a very large and elegant entrance to his suite. It was adorned with rich paintings and decor. But Kylo's attention was draw away from the decorations – for he could hear harsh conversation transpiring.

"You better give me the map to Skywalker. I'm not like your friend Kylo Ren who's been coddling you. I will destroy you for the information I need." Kylo walked around the corner from the main entry way, and his eyes targeted Hux immediately. The General had cuffed Rey to a chair, and in his hand was a metal knife from the tool set they used to torture people.

Hux was hovering over Rey – the Dark Lord saw a mix of agony and defiance alight in her eyes. He noticed that there was a bright red mark on her right cheek, which infuriated him. She was refusing to hand everything over to Hux and because of that Kylo was proud of her.

"I'm not giving you anything," she replied, hastily.

Ren's eyes shot to the floor below where Rey was sitting – to his horror he saw a pool of blood that was building. Drops of crimson were trickling down her left arm and wrist which meant Hux's had hurt her.

Blinding rage exploded inside him and that's when Kylo finally spoke. "I told you to leave her alone," he snarled with cold fury in his tone.

The General only had enough time to turn around to look at him before Ren used a Force Choke. Viciously, Kylo threw Hux against the metal wall in his living area. Picture frames toppled to the floor with a loud bang, but it mattered not. The Dark Lord pulled Hux toward himself so he could look Hux directly in the eyes.

"I should kill you for defying an order from me, but most of all, from the Supreme Leader – you did this for your own personal gain. This was completely unnecessary," he hissed. Kylo squeezed his fingers to constrict the General's breathing a little more.

"I'm too valuable to the First Order, you would never kill me," Hux wheezed. With that comment Ren flung Hux against the wall for a second time. This time Kylo pulled Hux in so their faces were only a few inches apart.

"I think you're overestimating your usefulness. Any idiot can be a general. Leader Snoke can't replace me," Ren spat. "You've never truly tasted the power of the Dark Side, have you? Let me give you a sample now."

"Try your worst," Hux challenged through gritted teeth.

Kylo drove straight into Hux mind, he wasn't looking for anything in particular, just to cause immense physical pain. General Hux's face turned a shade of red similar to the color of his hair. The General's eyes were starting to water and he let a few croaks of misery. Ren was enjoying this far more than he was willing to admit. This was for every time the General had conspired against him, every chance Hux had taken to try and over throw him. For years Hux had been a snobbish, arrogant, ass and now he was finally getting payback for everything – and to Kylo it was very exhilarating.

All of a sudden the Dark Lord heard Rey cut into his train of thought. "Kylo stop, you don't need to hurt him."

Kylo turned around, he had almost forgot she had been sitting there watching them. "He deserves to pay for what he did," Ren responded aggressively. "Don't you want him to suffer for what he did to you?"

"All I want is for you to get me out of here," she said honestly.

Kylo looked at General Hux and then back at Rey before he used the Force to cause Hux to lose consciousness. The sound of him crashing to the floor was music to Ren's ears. Kylo pulled the keys to Rey's cuffs off of the General and quickly unlocked her.

She was about to stand up, but Kylo scooped her up in his arms. Rey fit perfectly in his arms and she was lighter than she looked. He felt her head nuzzle into his chest as he carried her out of Hux's quarters and back into the hallway.

It was good to have Rey back in his arms – the last time he'd carried her was after their nasty interrogation. Back then carrying her in his arms had been to get her where he needed; he felt nothing when he'd held her. Now he sensed a new form of intimacy as he carried Rey down the hallways with her head firmly against his chest. There was trust as she was resting in his arms – he knew Rey had some feelings for him.

He could smell the blood and sweat that clung to Rey's skin. Beads of sweat were still crawling down her forehead as they went back to his quarters. Spindles of her brown hair stuck to his black robes, as if they were trying to hold onto him too.

"Thank you, for coming to get me," the scavenger murmured into his robes. Her voice sounded weary and that caused Kylo to pull her closer to himself.

"You would have done the same for me," he replied cooly. It was true – Ren knew if he was in trouble Rey would stick her neck out for him. He'd seen how Rey had risked her life for a stranger, the Stormtrooper traitor, Finn. Kylo knew for a fact she could do anything necessary to get him back.

"You know me all too well, Ben." She mumbled back to him.

It was awkward as he carried Rey back to his quarters. Every patrol they passed seemed to be in awe that he was carrying an injured prisoner – more so a female prisoner. He could imagine the com-chatter that would be happening and the rumors that would spread.  
but he cared not, Rey's safety was more important than silly gossip.

Kylo opened the door to his quarters and carried Rey inside. Now he was wishing he had cleaned up a little more – clothes littered the floor, and his desk was still messy from his search for the map to Skywalker. He set Rey in the chair by his desk, and instructed her to stay still. While she stayed put, Kylo rummaged around for bandages. It wasn't long before he found some.

He hadn't seen Rey's wound, and it wasn't as bad as he expected, just a cut that ran vertically down her left arm. It seemed like Hux had only started his game of making the cut deeper, for the cut didn't extend much deeper than the epidermis. Ren sanatized the wound and wrapped her arm up with gentle care.

"Thank you," she said. "You didn't have to help me."

"I did," Ren insisted. "He didn't hurt you anywhere else?" Kylo asked, if Hux had tried anything else, if he'd tried to violate her in any way, Kylo would go back and kill him without question.

"He started cutting my arm, that's all he had time for. I fear it would have been more serious if you hadn't showed up," Rey admitted, her eyes had a dull sheen to them. Kylo could tell she was having a hard time focusing as her eyes stared into the distance.

"You should rest." Ren helped Rey up and guided her over to his bed. "Go to sleep and I'll guard you in case Hux comes back." Ren insisted as he helped her get comfortable.

Her eyes lazily drifted back over to him. "Are you sure? I mean would be sleeping in your bed."

Kylo let out a sigh. "I'm certain." Rey didn't argue after that, she rolled over on her side and pulled the blanket around herself. He could tell she was exhausted, and in all honesty so was he.

But he had to remain strong, if Hux came back it would be in force. Aggressively he pulled his desk chair over to the door and propped it against the door. Kylo placed his lightsaber in his lap just in case.

For a while Ren watched Rey sleeping – it was peaceful the way her few stray hairs glided across her cheeks every time she breathed. Every breath she took was like a lullaby to his ears, and Kylo was struggling to keep his eyes open. It wasn't long until he closed his eyes and drifted into the dark abyss of sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I actually have access to internet so I could post this chapter. Just to let you guys know I bumped up the rating to M, I figured it was time and explicit content is coming very soon. I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter and please let me know what you guys thought of this chapter, did you like the beginning and ending? Thank you to all of you who have reviewing, I have been totally loving the feedback, thank you.


	19. The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Kylo Ren abducted Rey on Takodana, he had solely been seeking the map to Luke Skywalker from her. But once he felt Rey's connection to the Force, and learned of her ability to quell the war between dark and light within him – he knew there would be no letting her go so easily. Hopefully, she can see more than a monster in him. Slow burn Rey/Kylo

Rey awoke in a bed that felt unfamiliar – it was softer than any bed she had ever slept in before. It was definitely softer than the metal bar she was sleeping on in the cell block. The smell of musky Ryoos clung to the pillow and that's when Rey remembered where she was: She was in Kylo Ren's bed.

Everything that'd happened flooded back to her. How Hux had captured her and dragged her kicking and screaming back to his chambers. The troopers had chained her to the chair in his dining area before he'd made them leave. Hux had threatened her, but she'd remained bold enough to try and use a Jedi Mind Trick on him. The harsh punch Hux rewarded her for her disobedience remained fresh in Rey's memory. It was hazy but she did remember Ben barging in and saving her. Now that would be something impossible for her to block out.

She opened her eyes slowly to see Kylo Ren sleeping in a chair, which was propped against his door. She did recall Kylo saying he would be on guard duty in case Hux came back, but she hadn't imagined his idea of guard duty was sleeping.

Her eyes glided over Kylo: it was odd to see Ren so serene, never before had Kylo looked so vulnerable – even innocent. Rey took her opportunity to just drink in the details of his slumbering state. The way his thick hair fell in front of his nose, it was like dark curtains of silk. Rey noticed his hair made soft shadows against his cheeks, it contrasted his skin making him look paler. Kylo's ivory skin appeared angelic, as the dull light reflected in a way that made it glow youthfully.

For a long time she soaked in the details of his sleeping habits. Rey watched his nostrils flare, which matched the rhythm of his rising and falling chest. Rey found herself watching his lip more than she liked to admit. He was a silent sleeper, he didn't even let a snore escape. Every so often Kylo's lip would twitch, and Rey liked to imagine he was dreaming about kissing her. She knew she was being silly, but she still wished it.

Her thoughts were a little devious, but she wondered what Kylo looked like without a shirt on. Many times in training she'd felt his muscles under those thick black robes – they were strong from her recollection. Only a few days ago one of the officers had opened her hatch during meal time to ask her if she'd seen Kylo Ren with his shirt off. It seemed a disturbing question, but the officer told her there had been a rumor percolating for a long time that someone saw Kylo Ren take his shirt off in the shower. They said Kylo Ren had an eight pack. That Kylo Ren was shredded.

Rey had affirmed the officer that Kylo Ren had never taken his shirt off in front of her. To the chagrin of the officer, the girl had apologized for her assumption, and left without another word. In that moment it had been inexorable but Rey had chuckled, as she tried to make light of the questions. But Rey's own personal curiosity was opened, for she herself wondered what was beneath those robes he always wore.

By the gods, she was crazy. Here she was, a prisoner being held for information, and she was wondering what her captor looked like without his shirt on. She probably was losing her sanity, but Kylo Ren was hard to be sane around. He was Force Sensitive just like her, and there was a static energy between them that she had never felt with anymore before. Being Force Sensitive was an apparent gift that very few people in the galaxy possessed, she had tried to attribute her attraction to his connection with the Force. But it wasn't long until she realized it wasn't his connection to the Force that made him fascinating to her.

There was something more magnetic about him. Part of it was his pain: the pain of lonely they both kindled in their hearts, yet they both wanted to extinguish that suffering. She found him very attractive and there was a hidden charm that existed under his rough exterior.

Out of nowhere, Kylo jolted awake and his eyes looked around aimlessly, but Rey saw terror buried in his irises as his gaze shifted around wildly. He must have woke from a disturbing dream or nightmare, just thinking that made her empathetic. Nightmares were a problem she had been plagued by back on Jakku – she attributed it to the constant unrest she felt about living alone.

Finally Ren's eyes focused on her, as if he'd been shaken from his comatosed state. There was still fear lingering in his stare – it was fleeting the longer his gaze was fixed on her.

"Were you having a nightmare?" Rey asked cautiously; she didn't want to intrude too much, but she wanted to soothe his pain if she could.

"It was nothing," Kylo confirmed as he placed his saber back on his belt and he rose from his chair. "It seems Hux isn't interested in retaliating," Ren sounded very haughty as he spoke – as if he was pleased with his ability to put off Hux.

Rey pulled herself from his bed and with a slow pace she went to stand in front of him. She saw his eyes flicker around her face, before they settled upon her cheek. "What happened to your cheek," Ren inquired as he ran his gloved hand over the right side of her face. Rey winced as a sharp, stinging pain shot through her whole body.

"Hux punched me for trying to use a Jedi Mind Trick on him," she gave him a half smirk.

Kylo's face became grave. "I'm sorry I wasn't there earlier. I wish I could have been there to stop him." There was a coldness in his tone that Rey had not experienced in a long time – since he'd tried to bring her closer to the Dark Side.

The memories of Kylo mentally torturing General Hux were still painted in mind. The color of the General's face had been unnatural and the sounds of his puny gurgles of pain still echoed in skull. She'd forgotten of the darkness that still existed in Kylo – it had been days since she'd thought of him as a being of Dark Side. To her they were both now trapped in limbo – this realm of uncertainty.

But Kylo had crossed the line when it came to Hux. Even though she hated Hux, she didn't see the need to kill him. She would have preferred to land a few good punches on him to teach him a lesson. Instead she'd been subjected to the burning desire to kill that flowed through Kylo. Rey herself was reminded of what the Dark Side of the Force was like – and it was cruel, fiery hatred.

She pulled herself from her own train of thought to reply. "I'm fine, I had worse things happen to me while I was on Jakku. There were many times four of the junk lord's goons would try to mug me for my rations. I can promise you, they always limped away empty handed."

Kylo sighed and a ghostly smile danced across his lips. "I believe you, you're tougher than you look. But you should let me help you with that mark on your face."

Ren took off his gloves and gingerly put one hand on her cheek. Rey found herself leaning into his hand even through the pain, as if she was craving the feeling of his skin on hers. She felt heat emanating from his hand as if his palm was like warm from a spring – it was rejuvenating, refreshing.

Her eyes closed as she basked in the warmth from his hand. That's when she felt his other hand slide behind her head to tangle itself in her hair, and his lips descended upon hers. His lips were as soft as a blanket, but they were also firm as they were crushing against hers with want.

Rey forced her tongue to snake into his mouth where their tongues collided together. Their tongues clashed and taunted each other like children playing. She loved when he would nibble on her lower lip – Rey couldn't even help herself from letting out a soft moan escape her lips. Every time she would run her tongue over his upper lip Rey could feel Kylo's hands quiver and he would release a throaty growl. She couldn't keep herself from smiling in their kiss for she had found his weakness.

He tasted wonderful like sweet fruit, which only drove her to kiss him with more fervor. The Force energy and heat from his hand was electrifying and made everything more sensational. It was as if every fiber of her being was twice as alive – Rey had never felt like this before as coils of intense pleasure curled in her stomach.

He finally pulled away, and soon the heat he'd left behind diminished. Kylo's heavy breath tickled her cheek for a few seconds. Even Rey found herself near panting from the effects of their kiss.

"It's gone," he announced; Rey could hear the satisfaction in his voice. She slowly opened her eyes and looked straight into his dark irises. Kylo Ren was like a living contradiction: when they had first met, he seemed like a stony, inhospitable man, but on the inside he was fierce, ardent even.

Rey ran her hand over where Hux had hit her – sure enough she couldn't feel any more pain. Almost immediately Rey found herself gasping in surprise.

"Was that an ability of the Force," she questioned. She'd never heard of the Jedi being able to heal others. She could feel the calming aura of the Force but she'd never been certain if it could be focused to mend and fix. If it could, she wanted to learn how to heal people, that's a skill that had an infinite amount of uses.

She saw Kylo's lips pursed together tightly before he spoke, "I could teach Force Healing, but I'm not comfortable with the idea of teaching it."

"Why?" Rey pressed.

Kylo sighed and she watched him run his hand through his hair nervously. "It's a power of the Light Side. I'm not supposed to be using benevolence to heal wounds. Dark Side users focus on their pain to heal themselves, we don't heal others, healing others generally comes at a great cost."

So Kylo Ren was willingly using the Light Side of the Force? Did that mean he was slowly renouncing the Dark Side? Part of her wanted to ask, to know the truth, but instead she allowed hope to flicker within her heart. Still Rey couldn't stop herself from allowing a thin smirk to play on her face. "You used the Light Side?"

"I don't feel obliged to answer that question," Ren said incisively. He pulled his arms back toward himself; she could feel Kylo closing himself off to her. Internally, Rey felt herself near panicking – her intention had not been to upset him.

"Kylo I wasn't trying to push," Rey's reply was hasty and she grasped onto his arm. "I just want to learn how to heal people. I want the Force to be useful to others not just to myself."

His eyes shifted up and down her face and body, it was as if his very gaze was undressing her to the bone. "I'll teach you how to heal, if you so desire, but on one condition," he said as a small, crooked smile ignited upon his lips. Part of her was beginning to think he had something wick in store for her.

Rey found herself gulping – she hated falling prey to nervousness. "What is this one condition?" Her heart was starting to beat a bit faster every second she was not given an answer.

"You must eat breakfast with me," he replied with his cheeky smile still planted on his lips.

"Damn you, I thought it was going to be something serious," she mumbled back. "Of course I'll eat breakfast with you. I'm starving," she agreed.

* * *

Their breakfast consisted of some eggs that Kylo said were from a bird native to Kashyyyk and fruit that originated from Takodana. Rey had never tasted anything so good on Jakku – she couldn't deny it, here on this base, she felt like royalty. It was odd to think that Kylo Ren got this treatment all the time – like he was some prince amongst peons – the thought was astounding.

All morning her and Ben were swapping stories about their childhood. Rey really liked the one about how Ben's mother forbidding Han from teaching Ben to fly a ship. But of course, his father taught him in secret, and made Ben promise not to say a word. Naturally, his mother found out on her own and scolded the both of them.

Rey had never seen Kylo smile or laugh so much. It seemed like he'd had such an interesting childhood, even if his parents were busy. And even when his parents hadn't been there, Chewie had remained near by. She could sense some bitterness from being neglected, but nothing as extreme as his hatred for the time he spent at Luke's Academy.

Listening to Ben's childhood made her realize how she'd never really been a child at all. She'd been forced to grow up too young – there was not a single fun memory that stuck out in her mind. For her it had been survival, and learning how to make her life bearable.

Another revelation had crossed her mind – if Ben had a semi-decent upbringing – than his time at Luke's Academy must have been harrowing. She really didn't know the exact details other than the apprentices at Luke's Academy had disliked him and been jealous of his talent with the Force. It must have been miserable if the Dark Side had seemed like a viable option.

Rey was pulled from her thoughts as Kylo took her hand in his. The way he held her hand was protective and gentle – something that seemed foreign to her. No one had ever cared for her the way Ben seemed to now.

She wasn't sure where they both stood. What was this that they had? Was this just a passionate affair? Maybe Kylo Ren tried to seduce all of his female prisoners to fill his physical desire. He was attractive, young and she was finding he could be charming, when he wanted.

Part of her was itching to know if there was anything genuine between them. Rey wasn't a women that would allow some guy to take advantage of her. Back on Jakku she'd avoided getting involved with anyone for that reason. It was a very common thing on Jakku for men and women to take advantage of each other's trust and feelings, and one of them would rob the other blind.

"I've arranged for you to say in my quarters," Kylo's voice cut through her own reflection.

"Permanently?" There was no way to hold back her shock. She wasn't certain how she felt living in Kylo's room. Of course she enjoyed every second she spent with him recently, but Rey already had this odd notion she was intruding on his personal privacy.

"Yes, I won't allow Hux access to you again," he replied. "This is for your safety."

"That's kind of you, Ben, but I don't want to invade your personal space. There isn't enough room for the both of us. Where will you sleep?"

"You can have my bed, I'll sleep in my desk chair," Ren insisted. Rey knew he was trying to be a gentleman, but she wasn't accepting of the idea.

"I won't let you do that. I can't sleep in there," this time her tone sounded more irritated than she'd intended. Doubt was still plaguing her and she couldn't get passed it. She wanted to know if Kylo Ren actually cared about her, or was he just going to keep her around to get lucky and then he would toss her to the wolves.

He still could do that, there was not guarantees when it came to romantic feels. But from what she'd learned of Kylo Ren, he seemed to be a man of his word. He'd kept his word to protect her, he'd kept his word to train her and he hadn't tried to steal the map from her, but Rey wanted his reassurance.

Kylo's brow knit together in confusion. "Why not, is something wrong?" He asked firmly. "Do you want to live in your cell where Hux will come back and exact his revenge on you?"

Rey looked down at the table for she felt a little threatened under Kylo's scrutinizing gaze. "I've always lived alone, I'm accustom to it. I've never lived with anyone before – I'm sorry that I'm just a little uncertain. And you seem so blasé about me living with you, do you always invite female prisoners to live in you quarters with you or something?"

She saw Ren stiffen and his eyes became hard and glassy, as if her words had offended him. "You think I force vulnerable female prisoners to stay with me? And then, what, I have my way with them? I might be part of the Dark Side, but I wouldn't rape a woman, you must have a very low opinion of me if you think I would do that. I'm doing this to keep Hux from coming back for you, but if you want to sleep in that cell, I can arrange for that."

Kylo sounded very disgusted, his face contorted into an expression of disdain. Rey tried her best not to shrink beneath his withering stare.

"I don't think you take advantage of women, and I am grateful for what you are doing. I'm not trying to be rude, Ben," Rey took a deep breath. By the gods, she still sounded like an unappeasable ass.

"On Jakku when two people lived together it... It meant you were very vulnerable. People used to rob their significant other all the time and run away to start a new life. It would destroy their lives, some people would become so poor they would sell themselves into indentured servitude or worse. I know this isn't the exact same situation, but I just want to know you aren't going to try and take advantage of this situation. I guess, I would feel more secure knowing what I mean to you?"

Ren's gaze softened slightly before he spoke. "I will respect your space, and your feelings whatever they might be regarding myself. As for my feelings – I've never felt completely smitten with someone before, but you would be the first." Ren paused for a second to clear his throat. "I don't normally kiss and tell, but I want to put your mind at ease. I've only been intimate with one person before you. So you can be assured, I haven't been sleeping around."

It was plain to see, Kylo Ren was trying his best not to blush or be awkward. She was surprised at how open he was being – he could have easily kept the truth to himself. There was something even more endearing about him admitting how he felt.

Rey absorbed everything he said before she decided to ask a question. "I don't want to pry, but who was this person, if I may ask?"

Kylo rolled his dark brown eyes, and Rey suppressed a chuckle. "You're too curious for your own good," he said. "But if you must know, she was a female officer here on Starkiller Base. Every other week I would infiltrate locations where I thought Luke was hiding, and often times this woman was my pilot. She caught my attention frequently, with her witty banter and her kindness to our injured soldiers. I was more cold-hearted back then, and something about her almost made me feel alive again."

Rey could tell Kylo was acutely embarrassed of what was coming next because he wasn't making as much eye contact with her as he usually did. "I couldn't leisurely speak with her, so I found reasons to talk with her. She was assigned to be my personal pilot, and my mission reporter. We spent a lot of time talking because she gave me every detail I wanted to know about our missions. I started inviting her to dine with me, and one night after a little more drinking than usual, she became very, ugh – frisky and things became intimate."

"It wasn't more than a few days after I discovered she'd been planted by Hux. Her job had been to seduce me, and the General was trying to have me impregnate the girl, so he could use that child to bring me under his reign," he admitted.

Rey felt her eyes widen just a little, that was quite a wicked plan. "What happened? Obviously Hux's plan failed."

Kylo nodded in response. "It did indeed. The girl never became pregnant. After that, I vowed to never be weak or distracted again by my physical desires..." She heard his voice trail off as he finished his declaration.

Rey felt sorrow twisting in her stomach, for he had fallen prey to someone using his feelings against him. She'd never put herself in a compromising position before for that very reason – she couldn't afford to hurt herself any further. The pain of being alone – thinking her family didn't want her, it already ate away at her esteem.

"I've been unable to resist my feeling for you. You're different from all the women I've met," Kylo's words sliced through her thoughts like a saber. "It's like you're inherently good natured and that's a rare quality."

Rey didn't know what to say, but she said the only thing that was ringing in her mind. "There is no way to know what the future holds, but I don't want to let you go. I will do everything in my power to convince you that the Light Side is where you belong – you belong there, with me."

Her eyes remained glued to Ben's, while her heart was fluttering out of control and for a second she thought it might burst out of her rib cage. She was truly too honest, but he'd laid the truth before her. He deserved nothing less. She had deemed the truth was enough to not turn him away – Rey presumed it would strengthen their bond.

His dark irises were met hers, and there was an intensity as fierce as fire in them. "Everyday you make the Light Side seem more appealing," he said, but there was something very coquettish in the way he said it. Rey felt the hope that had settled in her heart rise again. By the gods, Kylo Ren was making her hope like she has never hoped before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I just want to apologize for the late update. I was crazy busy this week after getting back, but I really hope this chapter was still up to standard. Please let me know what you guess thought! I really enjoyed the feedback from the last few chapters, and I could really use some more. 
> 
> A special thank you to Not Harry, hoshiakari, AngelLover88, lunar on, lushlox, ShaeMama, darklou91 and khaleesi00. Thank you all you lovely readers, have a wonderful weekend! :)


	20. Never Giving Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Kylo Ren abducted Rey on Takodana, he had solely been seeking the map to Luke Skywalker from her. But once he felt Rey's connection to the Force, and learned of her ability to quell the war between dark and light within him – he knew there would be no letting her go so easily. Hopefully, she can see more than a monster in him. Rated E as of chapter 18. Slow burn Rey/Kylo

Part of Kylo was curling up inside and asking to die. Never before had he ever told anyone of the female officer that had taken advantage of his desire to evade loneliness. That she'd nearly trick him into the most devious of plots. But he'd known Rey was nervous about having someone take advantage of her own desire for human connection.

He hoped that his personal anecdote would make her realize she wasn't the only one who feared what would happen. But he would never try to trick Rey, he craved her in every way, not just physically. He craved her emotionally, he needed her around him. It had been nearly two weeks since he'd felt Light and Dark waring viciously in his mind. Instead he felt at peace all the time when he was in Rey's presence.

It was like her presence was healing him slowly but surely. She was giving him great reason to consider the Light Side as an option once again. It had been years since he'd thought about converting to the Light Side, all he'd wanted weeks ago was to block out its influence. But now he was allowing the Light to speak in his brain again and it was the Dark Side that seemed to be whispering in the back of his mind.

Like he had said before, it was Rey's undue influence that was allowing the Light to have a foothold in his life again. Her unconditional kindness and compassion was contagious and now he feared he'd caught her elating virus. He was supposed to be a scion of darkness – someone who had tamed the light within himself – now he wasn't sure where he stood on the scale of light and dark.

Rey's soft words dismembered his thoughts. "You don't have to stay chained to the Dark Side; we can conquer the Light Side together. We could escape this place, we could escape the First Order together. You can come to the Resistance, we could fight and end this war," he'd been holding Rey's hand the whole time – and he noticed she'd tighten her grip on him. He could almost feel the hope coursing through her body.

"No, there is no escape, Rey. Even if I leave now, if we leave now, there is no evasion. This war will rage on and I can promise you the Supreme Leader will hunt us down and find a way to destroy us," Kylo sighed. He didn't want to think about what would happen if he ran away. His master was unforgiving when it came to traitors – Kylo would suffer the maximum consequences if their escape failed and they were caught. What pained him even more was thinking about Rey, about her being at the mercy of his master, Kylo feared what his might do to her.

"How do you know? Together we could defeat him. We are both strong with the Force," Rey was pleading with him.

"He's stronger Rey. I've felt it, he has a connection to the Dark Side that is unparalleled," what he left out was the fact that Snoke secretly terrified him. The thought of Rey fighting him also terrified him – Snoke would try to crush her first, to damage Kylo's morale. Ren knew how his master worked, how callous, twisted and evil the man could be.

He looked in Rey's eyes and he could see the desperation deep inside them. There was nothing more in this galaxy she wanted than for them to escape. Part of him wanted that, a fresh beginning, to start anew with Rey by his side. But he'd ran away from his problems once before at Luke's Academy, and this was where he had landed. He was a man that would have haunted his dreams ten years ago. A man he would never have recognized as a child – he had turned into a monster and it was undeniable.

Rey's words once again sliced through his self-reflection. "We could find Luke. He would help us stop Snoke."

Kylo couldn't help but scoff, it was a silly notion, to think his Uncle Luke would want his help. After what had happened, after the destruction of his uncle's academy, there was no way Luke would stand to look at him, let alone help him.

"I'm sure I'm the last person in this galaxy my uncle would want to see. He'd likely kill me the moment he saw me," many nights Kylo had dreamed of Luke exacting his revenge on him. The feeling of his Uncle's lightsaber piercing through his gut was something that would stay with him for a very long time. And if Ren could help it, he was going to avoid a confrontation with his uncle.

Rey was nothing short of frustrated. "Stop being so cynical, Ben. You owe nothing to Snoke. He took advantage of your loneliness at the academy – he saw a boy who was suffering – he saw an opportunity. To him you were a young boy who he could manipulate. The man convinced you to infiltrated your uncle's academy and kill your fellow apprentices. He had you do what he never could, the man's weak. We can put an end to him and this war."

"How can we? You've never felt how mighty he is; he's so attuned to the Dark Side that it's almost intimidating, Rey. Neither of us is powerful enough to stop him. And for starters, I don't even know where Supreme Leader Snoke is located. Like the Sith before me, it was common for a student to overthrow his master. The Supreme Leader has made it certain I can't track his call frequency – he's put in measures to make it impossible for me to find him. Only Hux knows where Snoke hides and I can assure you he won't give the location to me."

"That's because he's afraid of you. He knows you're stronger than him, Ben," she countered.

"It doesn't matter, we can't leave. Rey, I know he will hunt us down."

Kylo paused and took a breath, he thought of how his master had told him of Rey's father. Snoke had hunted the Kenobi down and destroyed him – the inkling of Rey suffering the same fate made his stomach violently churn. His eyes met the scavengers and he felt fear rolling in his abdomen as he decided it was time she finally heard the truth from him. Kylo took a deep breath before he spoke, for what he was about to say would crush her. "The same way he hunted down and killed your father," Kylo said it as gentle as he could muster.

"What?" Her voice was shaky, frail almost. Those chestnut brown eyes he loved so dearly were filling with tears, and Kylo couldn't stand to see her suffer. He was unsure how to comfort her, to let her know everything would be okay. Rey's empty eyes dropped to the table. Kylo stood up and pulled her from her seat to rest in his arms.

He held her in a tight embrace, he hoped that holding Rey closer to himself would make her feel secure, loved even. "I'm sorry, for what happened. I know my sympathies are worth little, but I thought you deserved to know the truth."

Rey's silence made him uneasy, as if her lack of words branded him guilty for Snoke's crimes as well. "I had nothing to do with this. Your father, Anakin Kenobi, was a Jedi and he was on the run as Jedi did at the time. It sounded like your father was protecting you from Snoke – my feeling is my master wanted to steal away as a child and make you his apprentice. But your father hid you; he was afraid you would fall to the Dark Side. I know you worry that your family didn't love you, but your father didn't leave you by choice. He tried to kill Snoke and failed, but he sacrificed everything to keep you safe."

Finally her voice came to his ears, but Kylo shivered as the coldness in Rey's words rocked through him.

"Do you think knowing my father died by the hands of your master makes me feel better? I had hoped he might be alive, out there wandering, waiting for me to find him. I could feel as if he loved me sometimes, but now I know it was an illusion, that I tricked myself," her voice was nothing short of a growl as she continued. "This is what the Dark Side stands for: death, destruction and creating fear. This is what your master and the First Order stand for. And you – you are refusing to give up on it. You still count yourself among them."

He felt Rey shove herself free of his grip, there was rage burning in her irises. But there were also tears running down her cheeks as she challenged him with her gaze.

Ren found himself pleading as he took a few careful steps toward her. "Rey I had nothing to do with this. I didn't kill your father. Don't take your anger out on me," he beseeched her, something he thought he would never do in a million years.

"No, you didn't kill my father. But your master did, and you serve him. You follow in his very footsteps of cutting people's lives short without remorse – you've killed people's parents, children, siblings, friends."

He remained stoic, as he answered her. "Yes, I've killed people, but like I said before, I'm not proud of the fact. Killing is sometimes a necessary evil in a time of war."

The scavenger's eyes narrowed at him. "But we both know you can be unnecessarily cruel. You probably planned to kill me when we first met on Takodana. When your blade came close to my neck I was certain you would cut my head off..."

"But I didn't and I wouldn't have." he cut in. When they had first met he had known she was the girl who had sent his plans into disarray. She'd caused the droid to escape his clutches, but he'd felt she was Force Sensitive, and he couldn't have brought himself to kill her. Not when he felt her raw, untamed connection to the Force which to his surprise had stopped his internal turmoil.

"You didn't kill me because I had something you needed. But once you have the map I'll be of no use to you. So what's my fate once you have the map?" Rey inquired, she sounded infuriated. "Are you going to kill me too, follow in Snoke's footsteps by destroying my whole family line?"

"Killing you is the last thing in this galaxy I would ever want to do. You should know that. Don't hold me responsible for my master's actions. I was just a boy when this all transpired," he replied as sincerely as possible.

He saw Rey grinding her teeth together in anger. "I know you didn't kill my father, but that doesn't make you completely innocent." He watched Rey storm out of the dining room. Ren was about to stop her until he saw her plow right into his room and disappear.

Kylo let his head fall right into his hands, what the hell had he done? He knew telling her the truth would have been bad consequently. But things had turned into an utter disaster, Rey was absolutely irate. Nothing came to his mind on how to repair the damage, only time would heal this. Unfortunately time wasn't on his side, he would inevitably have to get the map from Rey and he knew it would be too soon.

* * *

Two days had passed and Rey refused to even move, let alone converse with him. All she did was lay in his bed and stare at the wall. He had noticed she was neglecting to take care of herself. All she did was lay in bed to foster her pain and anger – to Ren that was unacceptable. She'd been reluctant to take a shower upon his command – he'd prayed that taking a shower would wash away her anger, make her calm down. His hope had been futile though, she remained as silently dangerous as before.

He hadn't seen her eat either and Kylo was on the verge to having to force-feed her. He'd noted how her cheeks were losing their lively glow – they were dull and her eyes were even more painful to look into. They looked completely dead as if they'd been drained by a happiness-sucking monster.

Ren hated to admit it, but she had every right to be upset, angry and even vengeful. His master had killed her father and he knew she'd wanted to find her family, that was part of her life long dream. He'd crushed that hope, part of it since he wasn't certain about her mother, and now Rey was feeling hopeless and upset. She was grieving as she should be, but he could still feel anger locked in her soul – for the Force told all. And he'd felt that type of anger before, when he had wanted to get revenge on every student at Luke's Academy for making him feel miserable. But he was starting to fear she was straying too close to the darkness with her vexation.

Part of him had feared this result, that she would resent him and the First Order for being responsible for the death of her father. She partially blaming him even though he felt he was innocent. But the worst part was his master was pushing Rey closer to the Dark Side – filling her with anger and a hunger for vengeance, and Snoke wasn't even trying.

His mind was still working in overtime trying to think of a plan, a way to fix this mess. They say time healed these type of wounds, but time wasn't something he had on his side. Any day the Resistance could attack, and that would be the day he would be condemned to free Rey. That was the only way he could allow Rey to live with the Light Side still in her heart. The idea had come to him after Rey had valiantly asked what he would do with her after he obtained the map. He'd had too much time to reflect on matters and Rey's neglect was a punishment of its own. But he'd decided he would let her escape in the chaos – that was her best chance.

Kylo slumped back in his chair, he'd been reading and sleeping in this fucking chair for the last two days. His back was beginning to hurt – he needed to get on his feet and do something productive. That's when a small idea popped into his head, and Kylo hoped it would work.

"Rey," Kylo said it softly. "If you are willing, I will teach you how to heal people."

He was met with a cold silence for a few minutes, he was about to give up when Rey finally answered in a dry tone. "You told me that you weren't comfortable teaching people how to heal," she muttered straight toward the wall. It annoyed him that she was refusing to even look at him, but he knew she was trying to make a point.

"I'll make an exception if you want to learn," he replied. "Do you want to learn?"

For the first time in a few days she rolled over to look at him. Rey's eyes were scrutinizing and he could feel undertones of reproachfulness burning into him. Kylo shifted in discomfort but still held her stare.

"What do you say?" He asked, he was trying to keep the eagerness out of his voice, but he was failing miserably.

For the first time in two days, Rey's eyes scaled back in their intensity. "Fine," she murmured half-heartedly.

A bright smirk danced across his face as he took to sitting on the floor. Rey looked at him curiously, but without a word she pulled herself off his bed and joined him.

From off his belt, Kylo removed a sharp knife. Ren ran the cold blade down his hand – thick crimson trickled from the wound and pooled in his palm. The scavenger's eyes went wide as the blood continued to drip from the wound like rain from a cloud. He could almost feel the nervousness that was radiating off her; she hadn't expected him impromptu healing training.

He ignored the tiny shockwaves of pain that rippled through his hand. Instead her focused on Rey and instructing her. "Reach inside yourself, you must draw from the ideas of compassion. Only through empathy can you achieve the highest level of healing," he said with an even voice.

Shakily Rey took his hand in her own, even as his blood started to smear around her tan skin. A look of determination was alight in her eyes – he could feel the Force flowing through her like a river – she was channeling and controlling the Force. Her breaths were rhythmic and even, almost calm.

He watched as her hand touched his – light blared from her palms like a sun. As she removed her hand Kylo saw that nothing had happened. His palm was still bleeding and Rey's eyes looked disheartened.

Rey stood up in haste and stormed over to his bed where she sat down. "I can't heal you. Not after what I learned yesterday. I feel like compassion is out of my reach. All I can think about is my father's death. How your master hasn't received the justice he deserves." She looked defeated already which caused Ren to stand up and sit next to her on his bed.

"Rey you can't let my master's actions cloud who you are. You're one of the most kind and compassionate people I know. If you allow master to fill you with hate and the desire for revenge, then you're letting him win. Then your father's sacrifice to keep you safe from the Dark Side was for nothing. I know I tried to push you to the Dark Side – I've even been instructed to by my master to try, but I can't bring myself to do it. I just couldn't live with myself if I made you a malicious person. But I sure as hell wouldn't allow you to turn yourself into a monster, not without fighting tooth and nail to stop you."

Rey's eyes were still fixated on her bloodstained palms, but words finally came from her. "You mean that?" She asked, her voice hardly audible.

"I mean every last word, Rey." He replied. "Do you want to try again?"

He watched as Rey nodded and took his hand in hers again. "Thank you, for not giving up on me," she whispered to him. He could see a new sense of determination brewing in her eyes.

Kylo Ren couldn't stop the smile that crept onto his lips. "Don't worry, I'll never give up on you," that was all he could respond with as Rey tried her luck on healing him once again.

* * *

Rey had proven to be adept at healing, she'd pulled herself together, and allowed compassion to flow through her once again. After she'd healed his hand he'd asked her if was willing to eat and reluctantly Rey had agreed. Things had been a little tense in the beginning of their meal but the iciness had quickly thawed.

Once again they were talking as if things were near normal. Kylo put his listening skills to the test and allowed Rey to talk about whatever her heart desired. He listened as she told her experiences of nearly falling off the top of an Imperial Star Destroyer while scavenging for parts, and the tales of her fighting off four bandits at once who were attempting to mug her. His favorite was the one where she spit in Unkar Plutt's face – she said it was worth it even if she nearly starved to death before he forgave her.

There was something so real about her stories, they highlighted the struggles of survival, a concept he was out of touch with. He'd never been treated the way Rey had, coping with near death, not even at his uncle's academy. There'd been times he'd felt neglected when his parents denoted that their jobs were more important, but he'd never been on the brink of death.

Every time Rey talked about her childhood he realized tough she really was – physically and emotionally. She was tougher than most of the women here in the First Order, she could even give Captain Phasma run for her money.

It wasn't long until they finished eating and he offered her a drink which she accepted readily. He could tell Rey had never had a sip of alcohol in her life, for she spit the summer wine from Naboo all over the table. Ren had laughed and helped her clean it up – she still insisted on drinking it even though she had a sour expression every sip she took. He found it amusing as they both took their final swigs before getting up.

They walked back to his room together – his hand brushed against Rey's frequently though she refused to acknowledge it. He found that fact a little demeaning but he remained silent on the matter. Things would heal up in time, he repeated the mantra in his head over and over again to remind himself to be patient. Rey would resume their relationship when she was comfortable – he had to be patient.

When they got back he was shocked to see Rey getting ready for bed. It wasn't particularly late, but maybe she just wanted to avoid talking anymore. Ren hoped she was just exhausted from grieving and practicing healing – hopefully she wasn't avoiding him.

While she got ready to sleep, so did he – Kylo pulled off his robes to sleep in a black t-shirt and shorts. Normally he would sleep in just thin shorts, but he felt like Rey might be uncomfortable with that. After he was done changing, he pretended to be preoccupied with a book. In reality, he couldn't keep his eyes off Rey.

He watched her brush her teeth, he'd noticed she changed her clothes too. She was wearing her old clothing that had been freshly laundered, and Kylo couldn't help but find her even more attractive in it. Kylo had given her a toothbrush and many changes of clothes since her acceptance to stay with him. But he was glad she was still feeling the need to wear her old clothing.

He pulled his chair farther away from the desk so he could allow his aching back to have more room to straighten out. But he also wanted to get a better view of Rey who was away in the bathroom combing her hair. He'd never seen her hair down before, those three buns of her seemed like Rey's signature to him. Ren watched as her luscious brown hair cascade down her shoulders and flowed so tamely. He was mesmerized by her goddess like beauty and he never wanted to forget what she looked like in this moment.

Her eyes shot over toward him and that's when Kylo realized he was gawking like some star-struck teenager. Ren's eyes diverted away from her and back toward the book on his desk – the specific novel that pertained to Sith Lords.

The sound of a light switch being turned off rang in his ears, light foot steps followed. It indicated that Rey was making her way out of the bathroom and back into his bedroom. Finally Kylo decided to meet her gaze once again. Rey was sitting on the edge of his bed watching him curiously. "You've been sleeping there for the last two nights?" She asked with a sympathetic tone.

"Yes, I have. I'm fine though," he reassured her. There was no way he wanted Rey to pity him. He'd suggested this, he'd promised Rey her own space and he didn't want her to think he'd suggested this whole arrangement just to convince her to sleep with him.

"If you want we can share your bed. It's too big for me alone," Kylo felt his heart skip a few beats. Every bone in his body was screaming at him to yell yes at the top of his lungs. To throw himself across the room and crawling into bed with Rey. Yet, he'd agreed to respect her space and he'd told her the bed was all hers.

"No, I promised you the bed was yours," he stated proudly. "I won't go back on my word."

He watched the scavenger sigh. "Kylo stop being stubborn and get yourself over here. I feel guilty for kicking you out of your own bed," she said assertively.

Ren was timid as he made his way across the room and crawled into bed with Rey. Without warning Rey curled up against his chest and Kylo allowed Rey to sink right into his arms. He could feel her breath brushing against the hem of his shirt. It was calming as her legs twined with his – Ren enjoyed the fact that Rey was clutching on tightly to him, as if he was her steady rock.

Her skin was as smooth and soft as a bed of feathers and every once and while Kylo felt the need to pull her closer to him. He listened to her steady breaths and closed his eyes. He hoped he could fall asleep soon, else this would be a very long night.

* * *

It wasn't long until tiny snores were exhausted from Rey indicating she was fast asleep. He envied how easily she drifted off because Kylo Ren was far from being tired. On the contrary, he'd never felt so awake in his life. His heart was thundering in his chest like a drum and he was surprised his own heartbeat didn't stir Rey from her slumber. And he was fighting very adamantly against a raging erection.

With Rey's body pressed tightly against his, it was proving impossible to fight. If she moved even an inch, she would feel how hard he was for her. Her breasts were crushed against his chest. Her strong, shapely legs were weaved up against his. All he could think about was spreading those legs open and pleasuring her in ways no one ever had. The only question was whether to start with his tongue or his cock.

Probably his tongue. He wanted to make her moan and shudder and beg. He wanted to feel those strong legs clamped around his ears as he licked and sucked and tasted. Then he would take her, burying himself deep within her sheath.

Kylo made an involuntary, desperate noise low in his throat. His willpower was fast being reduced to tatters. The only thing that was keeping him hanging on was the fact that he respected her and didn't want to do anything she wouldn't be comfortable with, he would wait until she wanted him. But when that day came, he would unleash every drop of desire he'd withheld.

Kylo buried his face in Rey's shoulder and tried to calm himself, focusing on the comfort of having her near. He felt the slow rise and fall of her chest against his as she slept. During the day, she was a fierce, Force welding scavenger, but now, in his arms, she was sweet and vulnerable. He realized suddenly what an honor it was that she trusted him this much, enough to sleep in his embrace. This was the first time he'd been able to be so close to her for such a long period of time. And he was treasuring every second of it, the smell of her was intoxicating and just the warmth of her skin was making him believe he was in heaven.

He hoped that Rey would allow him to sleep with her every night for the duration of her stay. He loved the feeling of her being close so him and he never wanted this to end. Kylo was starting to fear that Rey was making him addicted to her, and if that was her plan – hell it was working.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I hope you really enjoyed the chapter it's my longest yet! I just wanted to thank all of you for supporting the story, I would never have gotten through another ten chapters without your support. You guys are truly the most wonderful followers and kudoers an author could ask for.
> 
> I just wanted to give a special thanks to boblehead, hoshiakari and Jinga! Thank you for taking the time to comment and leave your thoughts!
> 
> On a small note, the next chapter is the chapter some of you have been waiting for since the beginning, so stay tuned! ;) Thank you so much for taking the time to read, I hope you all have a wonderful weekend! :)


	21. For the First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Kylo Ren abducted Rey on Takodana, he had solely been seeking the map to Luke Skywalker from her. But once he felt Rey's connection to the Force, and learned of her ability to quell the war between dark and light within him – he knew there would be no letting her go so easily. Hopefully, she can see more than a monster in him. Rated E as of chapter 18. Slow burn Rey/Kylo

For a few days now her and Kylo had been training with sabers. He'd been very cautious to agree and she knew he worried Hux would be prowling about the base, waiting for a chance to pounce. But Rey had been relentless in her insistence to continue her training. She wanted to keep her mind off her father – to keep herself distracted. Ever since she'd discovered the truth, everything seemed dreary and duller.

The thought that she was one step closer to being alone in the galaxy made her sick to her stomach. Everyday on Jakku she had thought about how her father was probably still out there, wandering, waiting, wistful. The truth had stung more than any wound she'd ever been inflicted with. It was the type of pain that refused to leave her, the type that wasn't healing as fast as she desired.

It was silly – she'd never even known the man, but she was his flesh and blood – and he'd still protected her. He'd made the ultimate sacrifice to keep her safe, to keep her from being killed or worse – being converted into a monster. Rey couldn't help but feel grateful toward him. Thinking about the injustice that occurred filled her with overflowing sadness. Part of her realized that if Snoke had taken her as his apprentice, Ben would never would've been a target, and things would have been quite different. She might have been the one Ben would have called a monster.

Kylo had been right, thinking about what happened to her father, about what Snoke did – it had been pushing her closer to the Dark Side. All she had been focused on was wanting revenge, about how she couldn't wait for the day they would meet in battle. Her body had ached for the chance to fight the Supreme Leader – and with all the ferocity her body could muster she would destroy him.

The idea had run rampant in her mind, and it might have consumed her if Ben hadn't intervened. He'd reminded her of her true pursuit: being a kind, compassionate person, about finding Luke and returning balance to the galaxy. Maz had told her a similar thing – Maz had given her the guidance she'd needed.

 _The belonging you seek is not behind you, it is ahead._ Those words rang in her head quite frequently. That she had to look to the future because thinking about the past wasn't worth crying over anymore. Part of Rey wondered if Maz had been alluding to Ben. If somehow she had known they would meet and balance each other's worlds.

Ben was one of the few things that was holding her together now. He was trying very hard to keep her chin up, reminding her of who she truly was. Without him she would be grasping to recover from her pain – he was making sure she wasn't suffering alone. Everyday Rey hoped Ben would consider the Light Side as more of an option. Rey knew it would too arduous for her to survive on her own, especially since she'd just had a taste of heaven, which involved being locked in Kylo's arms.

It was starting to get very late, and Rey was sitting on the edge of the bed, patiently waiting for Kylo to finish brushing his teeth so they could curl up and go to sleep. It was odd how much she craved sleeping in his arms now, there was something protective in the way he held her. She was getting the best sleep of her life, before her nights involved her being painfully restless. Now she slept through the night like a baby – unaware of the perils of the world.

Finally Ben left the bathroom, in his usual thin black t-shirt and light, soft pants. Rey watched him pad over from the bathroom toward the bed. There was something very coquettish in his eyes that made her smile. Ben laid down on the bed and Rey instantly pulled herself next to him so they were facing each other. Their hair was starting to mix as they laid on the same pillow together.

There was nothing better in the world than looking into Ben's dark brown pupils and watching the dim light glitter off them. She was obsessed with his perfect black hair, and when she looked hard enough she could see hues of a chocolatey color which intrigued her. Had it always been there, she wondered.

She'd been completely oblivious to how Kylo was observing her with an equal amount of curiosity. "How are you so beautiful?" He asked her, his tone seemed thoroughly perplexed. "You don't even seem to try."

Rey smiled. "I'm glad you find my lackluster attempt to look radiant very inspiring," she repressed a giggle as her hand went forward to stroke his cheek. That's when Rey leaned in and her lips collided with Ben's.

Kylo kissed her aggressively as if he could never get enough of her. Rey could feel Ben shiver as she responded with her own brand of passion. Wickedly, Rey nibbled on his bottom lip and every once and a while she would tug on it.

She felt Kylo put his hands on her hips and pull her closer so their bodies were pressed so tightly together. Part of her wished they were even closer so that she could feel his bare skin against hers. Without warning, Kylo broke their kiss – Rey felt his tongue travel down her neck. His hot breath tickled her skin, which sent chills traveling down her spine.

A soft groan of pleasure left her lips as Kylo left soft licks and kisses behind her ear. She loved how gentle and fierce Kylo was when it came to kissing – it was paradoxical but he was still somehow was making it a reality.

"Ben, I want you in the worst way," Rey whispered as he continuously left kisses on her neck. As the words escaped her she felt Ben freeze amidst his lips brushing over the nape of her neck.

"Do you mean that?" Ben replied in a tone as soft as her own.

"I meant every last word, Ben," Rey couldn't help but mimic how he had told her there was no way he would ever give up on her. For she would never give up on him, and there was no man in this galaxy she wanted more than him. "I want you in every way."

She reached down and curled her fingers around the hem of Ben's shirt, and she swallowed heavily as she tugged it upward. Since that prison guard had said Kylo Ren had an eight pack, that Kylo Ren was shredded – she had been dying to know the truth. Her eyes widened when her gaze rested upon the spectacle that was Kylo's chest.

Her hands reaching up to press flat on his chest; she couldn't even repress the need to run her hand up and down his smooth, muscular body. From what she was seeing, the rumors had been accurate, Ben was most definitely shredded as waves of muscles rippled beneath his skin.

"Like what you see?" Kylo's voice cut through her awe, she was aware of the cheekiness in his tone. Rey had to fight hardily against blushes that were threatening to ravage her cheeks.

"How? How are you so fit?" Rey asked stunned – she was still a little bewildered how Ben could be so physically fit.

"When I wasn't looking for Luke, I was working out and honing my skills," he admitted. Rey felt Kylo grab onto her arm and pulled her so close that she could feel the heat from his chest soaking through her own clothes.

Deftly he pulled off her belt that had been tightly attached to her hips. She had nothing beyond her breast band on underneath her own gauze wrap and shirt. Never before had a man seen her in her naked form, but she wanted Ben to be the first. Ben was ravenously removing her clothes, and as her gauze wrap, shirt and breast band hit the floor, Rey could feel the cold air of Starkiller Base biting at her skin. For what felt like the hundredth time she was cursing this base for being so damn cold.

Once again Kylo crushed her mouth with his, and their bare chests collided. The heat from his skin was fueling her desire as she kissed Ren with equal fervor. She felt Kylo put both hands on her sides so he could them up and down, as if he was memorizing every curve of her figure and the way she felt under his touch. Quickly, Rey wrapped her arms around his neck and ran her fingers through his thick, angelic hair.

Ben's mouth glided from her lips and down her neck as he left a fiery trail of lascivious kisses which only stopped at her breasts. He cupped one of her breasts while attending to the other with his tongue. Kylo circled her areola with his tongue before sucking the whole thing into his mouth with a soft rumble. His hand teased at her other peak, drawing multiple shudders from her body.

Rey was becoming attuned to a little nudge at her abdomen and glanced down to see that he'd gone hard, that his manhood was prodding her. Seeing that sent a shiver of fierce desire straight down her spine.

It was quick, but Kylo was working her pants off as fast as humanly possible. Rey assisted with helping him and then they both pulled off his pants together. She found her own breath caught in her throat as Ben's erect sprang from his pants. It was large and loved just looking at it – it was new intriguing and she wanted to become well acquainted with Ben's manhood.

Rey's observations were broken as she felt Ren's hand between her thighs – she knew there was a vast wetness at her womanhood. One that only Kylo Ren could bring out in her. Ren's dexterous fingers teasing her entrance – Rey could feel the pleasure pulsing throughout her entire being, even her toes were tingling.

She watched in eager anticipation as he lowered himself down her body, and as he went he left kisses across her abdomen, hips and thighs. Finally Rey could feel his breath tickling her inner thighs and it was exhilarating. This time there was no teasing. He attacked her center with all the suppressed passion of the last three weeks. His tongue danced feverishly across her pearl and his hands methodically caressed her upper folds.

Rey's back arched and her hips lifting off the bed. With desperation, her hands clutched frantically at the sheets. A bone-tingling wave of delight swept over her – it started at her center and spreading out through her limbs, until there was nothing but Kylo Ren and the delicious feeling of his tongue against her exploding nerves. With a moan, Kylo sucked her nub into his mouth and flicked the tip with his tongue. Nothing had ever prepared her for the feeling of his tongue working magic on her.

He continued in his patterned of licking and kneading for a few more seconds and Rey could feel the heat building in her lower abdomen. It wasn't long until Rey was driven over the edge, and felt herself being torn into a million pieces. She came around the tip of his tongue, her walls clenching as her whole body trembled pleasantly. His hand stilled upon her and he let out a loud groan against her lips, tearing his mouth away.

Rey was panting as she desperately tried to catch her breath – she had hardly noticed Kylo sit up and work his way over her. When Rey finally gained her focus back she was looking directly into Ben's eyes. There was a very primal, almost carnal gleam in his stare that caused shivers of excitement to run down her back.

"Are you protected in any way? Or do I need to..." She could feel the tension in Ben's body as his gaze raked up and down her naked form.

She knew what he meant, and her eyes diverted away from his. "Unkar Plutt forced a birth control implant in any girl he could find. On Jakku you have to pay him to have it removed, it's an evil, lucrative system, but we have nothing to worry about."

His eyes darted over to her arm – Ben nodded his understanding for he must have seen the implant under her sun-touched skin.

"Is this what you want?" He asked tentatively. There was a small crack of uncertainty in his confident facade.

"Yes," she muttered between heavy breaths. "I want you, Ben. I want you in the worst way."

"It might hurt a little," he murmured, leaning down to kiss her lips unchastely. "I will be gentle."

"I know you will," she whispered as she kissed him back with zeal.

His cheeks were flushed red, and his whole face tensed into a harsh look of concentration. She felt as his hand ran over her skin and worked its way down her abdomen – and she watched as he readjusted his body.

She saw him reach between her thighs and guide his manhood into her cinching, wet warmth. Nothing in the galaxy would have prepared Rey for the unexpected fullness of Ben's erect inside her. A small gasp escaped her lips as Kylo edged his hips forward. She gripped onto Ben's arm as he thrust a little deeper each second. It wasn't long until he was moving in and out in a slow, steady unrelenting rhythm. Her own hips started to move with his body a little more. It had been very painful in the beginning but the more Ben moved inside her, the more intimate and pleasant the feeling became.

"Tell me if I should stop and I will. I don't want to hurt you," he murmured to her.

"No." Rey shook her head, still holding his to his arm as if for dear life. "Please, don't stop. _I need you..._ " she reassured him between little soft moans.

Ben's pace quickened as her sequence of throaty moans did. Rey could feel Kylo driving himself into her body with a new manic rhythm She couldn't deny how much she loved the fiction of their bodies sweat, and skin together. She knew he was very close to finding his pleasure within her.

Her back arched, her hips began to buck and her muscles began to tense. Rey gripped even tighter to Ben's forearm for support. Black and blue spots began to shoot into her vision as she was on the brink of the peak of her ecstasy. Rey moaned out Ben's name as she was at her tipping point. Her own climax sent him over the edge. She felt Kylo's cock throbbing as his seed rushed into her and she heard him call her name with a sensual, gravelly moan.

Sweaty, breathless, and exhausted – they both went limp. Carefully, he rolled off her and laid next to her. She felt his arms wrap around her side and tug her close to him.

"I hope it was a good first experience for you," she heard the doubt and he almost sounded self-conscious in his questioning.

"Ben, it was great, because it was with you," she whispered right into his ear. "I've wanted you for a long time."

"I know, when I first took off my mask during your interrogation – I knew were attracted to me because I was reading your thoughts. They were quite... Intriguing," he started to laugh and she could feel his laughter reverberate against the bed and her back as his bare skin clung to her own.

"You cheeky, bastard," Rey chuckled along. But Ben's voice cut her chuckling short.

"But in all honesty, Rey, I don't think I can live without. I need you in my life, and I won't ever let go of you." Rey couldn't help but smile from his words. Her feelings for him were equally reciprocated and it was elating. Knowing the truth was like a hot wave of relief was washing over her, knowing that Ben craved her the same way she craved him.

It was almost instant, but she felt Ben curl his body around her. Peacefully, Rey entwined her legs with his as they both started to drift off toward sleep. She listened to the steady sound of his breath and was acutely aware of the heat his bare skin was radiating against her own. It wasn't long until Rey was caught in a serene slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I finally got one of the first real risque chapters out. Please give me some feedback and tell me what you thought. I was very excited to post this chapter, but at the same time also nervous since I've never written a true smutty chapter before so do tell me what you guys thought!
> 
> I just wanted to give a special thanks to Pheebers, Giggysmack, hoshiakari, boblehead, Mlntplasma and ShaeMama; thank you for being kind enough to review and give me your feelings and thoughts of the story.
> 
> Next chapter should be coming out around this time next week! Thank you for taking the time to read, I hope all of you have a wonderful weekend! :)


	22. Master and Apprentice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Kylo Ren abducted Rey on Takodana, he had solely been seeking the map to Luke Skywalker from her. But once he felt Rey's connection to the Force, and learned of her ability to quell the war between dark and light within him – he knew there would be no letting her go so easily. Hopefully, she can see more than a monster in him. Slow burn Rey/Kylo

Kylo's fingers brushed the surface of Rey's skin deftly as he traced the curves of her body. She was warm under his touch even as Rey shivered and goosebumps rose on her sun-kissed skin. Waking up every morning with Rey next to him was pure bliss. He loved the feeling of their legs being tangled together and their skin pressed so close. Her hair would tickle his shoulders and often times he would wake her by planting gentle kisses upon her neck.

For the last week him and Rey had been enjoying the pleasure of training rigorously and being truly intimate. He liked the idea of being involved in a casual liaison, it wasn't something Rey was complaining about either. He'd wanted her for a long while now – his life had never been closer to divine. If everything stayed the way it was forever he would die a very happy man. But he knew all good things came to an end, and his heart filled with sadness at the thought of their relationship coming to an end.

Rey rolled over to face him there was a very sensual gleam in her eyes as she observed him. "Good morning," she said with a seductive tone. Kylo had to resist a tremor that threatened to course through him.

"You do like teasing me, don't you," Rey asked as she ran her fingers through his thick hair. Kylo knew she had some obsession with his hair – he enjoyed it secretly because it made him feel highly desired by her.

"I can be more decisive if you would like," he murmured. Kylo pulled Rey closer to him so he could kiss her. Their lips and tongues danced together in a familiar fashion. Over the course of the week Rey had learned his one weakness. When she ran the tip of her tongue over his top lip, it always elicited a growl like moan from him every time.

Ren let one hand snake down the length of her body, and quickly he found her sex which was already wet and pulsing with heat. He slid first one, and then a second finger inside her, alternating between slow, sensuous strokes and driving thrusts that had Rey rocking her head back into the pillows. He pumped his finger in and out coaxing a longing moan out of her each time.

Kylo heard her breaths became labored as he felt her body beginning to melt against him. Rey was beginning to tighten around his fingers – her release was coming soon and he was excited. It was pure ecstasy watching her orgasm and listening to her call his name.

That's when Kylo heard an inconvenient distinct buzzing at his door. He involuntarily froze and Rey let out a cry of disapproval. He considered just finishing Rey up, but he feared who was at the door. It could be General Hux, and if he got impatient that meant he would just break in.

"I'm sorry, I need to get the door," he said.

With reluctance he pried himself from Rey and the bed to get dressed. He was astutely aware of Rey's hungry gaze as she watched him dress; he enjoyed when she watched him get ready. The dinging at his door became more needy as finished dressing – part of him wanted to just kill the person at the door as soon as he opened it.

He was about to answer the door before he remembered an important detail, with a lazy stride he walked over to his mask. He'd be damned if he allowed anyone other than Rey to see his face. Quickly he slipped it on and went to the door. To his surprise, Captain Phasma was at the door, her blaster in hand and her armor freshly shined. He was looking straight into her helmet – his hand gripped the door tighter.

"What do you want?" Ren growled, it sounded almost feral in his head. "I should kill you where you stand for not keeping up your end of our bargain. You promised to help keep Rey safe when she was in the cell block, but instead you allowed General Hux to get her."

Captain Phasma remained silent for a few seconds. "I'm sorry for my failure, Lord Ren. I promise it will never happen again. But I had a real reason for coming. The Supreme Leader has requested an audience with you." She said in her usual formal tone. "He's not pleased, just a warning, Lord Ren."

Without any notice she turned on her heels and trudged down the hall in an orderly fashion. Kylo Ren let out a great sigh, he knew why Snoke was upset, and this would not end well for him; it never did when the Supreme Leader was furious with him.

Ren closed the door behind him – his eyes glazed over Rey who was currently dressed and tying her hair up in three buns. "Rey, I have to go talk to Snoke, it's mandatory. I'll be back later." The sound of his synthetic voice almost seemed foreign to him now. It had been a week since he'd worn his helmet at all.

He watched as Rey ran over to him with haste in her steps. Without warning Rey threw herself into his arms and gave him a big hug.

"I'll be fine," Kylo gave her a false reassurance. In all honesty, he wasn't certain what would happen, for all he knew a trap was afoot as they spoke.

"Be safe, Ben. Don't let him scare you," Rey clung to him even tighter, as if this was the last time they would see each other.

"I'll come back, don't worry," he whispered, but his mask stole the tenderness from his voice.

"I'll be here when you get back," Rey let go so she could run her hand down the front of his helmet. Kylo wished he could feel the heat of her skin against his. To his surprise, Rey leaned in and gently kissed his mask.

Every fiber of his being was screaming for him to stay, to just continue holding Rey in his arms. But he knew he had to leave, his master would grow impatient and that would only inflame the situation further. With regret, Kylo let go of Rey and took a step toward the door. The last thing he saw as he left the room was the sorrowful expression that bewitched Rey's face.

* * *

Kylo walked into the throne room and his heart started to thunder sporadically in his chest, for Snoke was sitting there waiting for him. Long fingers strumming against the arm of his chair as well as a grim look told Ren the Supreme Leader was not amused. The disfigured form of Snoke's face looked even more daunting as Kylo approached.

"Lord Ren," Kylo heard the crassness in his master's tone as his voice echoed off the stone walls in the throne room. "It has been two weeks since you last reported to me. Have you forgotten your obligations?"

"I won't deny it Master, I've been avoiding you," Ren took a deep breath as he took a position in front of the Supreme Leader. He hung his head low refusing to make eye contact with the man. He feared that his master would read into his very thoughts – that Snoke would invade his mind, that he would sense his connection with Rey. "I've been avoiding you because I've failed at my mission. I have not brought the girl to the Dark Side."

Snoke let out a small sniff and Kylo knew he was in for a scolding.

"It seems the girl's Light is contagious as well. The Light in you has grown. That is completely unacceptable. First you fail to get the map from the droid and now you can't convert some scavenger to the Dark Side." Ren continued to look down at his black boots, but he could feel his master's beady eyes burning holes through him.

Kylo remained silent.

Snoke let out a faint sigh. "You know I've been tolerate of the Light within you. Since you've become my student, you have proven yourself to be loyal to the Dark Side. But now you have allowed an extraneous variable such as this – _this scavenger_ to throw you from the careful path you've carved through the darkness. It's disgusting," the Supreme Leader's voice boomed sending out shock waves that rocked through Kylo's body. "I thought better of you Lord Ren."

He still held his tongue, for he feared he might say something disrespectful. He knew he was supposed to be ashamed of himself that in the bottom of his stomach he was supposed to loathe himself. The old Kylo Ren would have felt like a disgrace, an abomination in the eyes of his master. But since he had met Rey, he was a refreshed man. Rey was like water, she had eroded away his harsh, stony personality and remodeled it into something new. He didn't care what Snoke thought of him now; Rey's high opinion was the only one worth having.

"You have allowed compassion to rule in your heart, and I can sense the Light in you has grown like a cancer. Since you've failed me – and your attachment to this girl is the obvious cause, you will send her to me. Immediately," the repugnance in Snoke's voice was clear.

"I've devoted everything to you, Supreme Leader," Kylo said as he tried to filter the frustration from his tone.

"And that's why I haven't had you killed for your insolence," Snoke hissed. "If you were any other man I would have you destroyed where you stand, but you've been my ambitious and loyal apprentice for many years now and you are impossible to replace."

Kylo nodded, for the first time he lifted his head to glance at his master. Snoke's silvery eyes narrowed and his hand clenched his throne tightly; Ren repressed the need to shiver. With suppressed feelings of anger, Kylo bit his inner lip. Kylo knew it now, he'd already suspected the truth, that his master found him pathetic and wanted to replace him. He was only fortunate enough that Force sensitive beings weren't abundant.

"I've instructed General Hux to charge the Superweapon – and it's target is the Illenium system. We need to hit the Resistance now, while they are still unaware," Snoke stated robustly. "I want an updated report as soon as the girl has been shipped to me," his master commanded. "And Lord Ren, don't let me down again. I will find it in my heart to dismiss your... childish diversion this once, but don't make me regret my generosity," his master's voice was nothing short of scathing.

The hologram came to an end and Ren exhaled for what felt like the first time in minutes. His chest was beginning to hurt from pounding of his heart. It was as if his very heart was trying to beat its way out of his ribcage.

He left the throne room, but it became more onerous to even walk. Kylo's knees felt weak and with every step his legs quaked until he was forced to grab hold of a wall for support. He knew what would happen if he sent Rey to the Supreme Leader – for her it was a death sentence. There would be no twisting her pure soul toward the Dark Side. Unless Snoke used her father's death to fuel her anger, but there was no way his master could control Rey; she hated him. She would sooner kill Snoke than help him. Rey was emotionally and morally stronger than Kylo had ever been – there would be no way to manipulate her. Kylo knew for a fact that Rey would resist the Dark Side until her dying breath.

There was little he could do, if he refused to hand Rey over there would be repercussions for his disobedience. Hux would be more than happy to arrest Ren and do away with him. Kylo's hands were already metaphorically tied, he had to figure out a way for Rey to be safe.

For the first time in over a month, Kylo Ren headed to the room where his grandfather's helmet was located. It was a quiet place away from the traffic of constant patrols. It was a place where he'd meditated long ago and it was a place he could ask for guidance without being disturbed.

He approached the room with urgence in his gait. Never before had he felt the need for clarity so desperately. He typed in the security codes so fast that his own hands looked like a blur.

As he entered Kylo looked at the decrepit, crying metal that was the remains of his grandfather. It was the only thing he'd obtained of the old Sith Lord and it had taken him a long time to find. He'd had to raze a few Ewok villages to the ground to find Darth Vader's helmet, but having it had made him feel complete at the time.

"Grandfather," Kylo lamented as he put his hand on the helmet. "I beg for your help. I'm being torn apart, I want to save Rey, but I don't know how to do it."

"I want to give into the Light, I want to start a future with Rey in it, but I can't do so without beating the Supreme Leader. I fear I'm too weak without the Dark Side, I fear I'll need the darkness to beat him."

Silence rang like thunder in his ears – he tried his best not to clench his fists. "He manipulated me, he preyed upon a boy who had power, anger and was lost. A boy who was hurting, a boy who was internally screaming for help and went looking in the wrong place to end his suffering, to inflict his revenge. Now I'm a man, I understand what was going on, Snoke was looking for a puppet to do his bidding. He wants to toss me aside and turn Rey into his apprentice, but I can't let that happen. Snoke needs to be stopped, but how can I do that if I don't know where he is or how to defeat him?" Ren took a deep breath before he spoke again. "Please, Grandfather, help me."

Kylo sat there, the room was cold, silent and heavy with languor. Never before had his grandfather ever reached out to him, but sometimes he had felt a dark presence linger with him. He knew that his grandfather was capable of manifesting himself. He had read about how strong Force sensitive users had the ability to appear as spirits to give guidance and talk to the living. Yet his own grandfather had forsaken him.

Finally after the silence became too cumbersome he grabbed the helmet in his hand. He looked into the empty, melted eye slits of the piece of metal. Under his skin rage began to simmer, but as the quiet lengthed he could no longer contain it.

 _"You never gave a shit anyways,_ " Kylo screamed out and he continued to yell until his lungs physically ached. With all the might his body could muster, he chucked the crumbling mask against the wall. He felt his ankles quake beneath him and Ren fell, his knees hit the metal floor with a loud thud.

Why, why, did he have to be so alone? If he didn't figured out what to do he would be alone again soon, but there would be a larger void left behind by Rey's absence. A void as large as the one his parents had left in him when they sent him away. He wasn't sure he could handle that again. No, not a second time.

Kylo fought hot tears that threatened to spill down his face. Rey was the first person in his life that he felt truly cared about him; he could feel it in the way she looked at him, the way she touched him. She was the light of his life, and with every fiber of his being he wanted to protect her. For if he lost her, if she went to the Dark Side, if she died: he would never forgive himself.

There had to be a practical way to thwart Snoke, he needed to figure it out. But Kylo was lost for inspiration, he was consumed and being debilitated by the thought of Rey leaving him or dying. His mind was racing – he felt like his skull was going to explode.

"Ben." Kylo perked up as an unfamiliar voice infiltrated his ears. Ren slowly turned around to see a pale blue, ethereal figure behind him. It was a man with shaggy, brown hair and dark, steely eyes. He was wearing brown and black robes of a Jedi Knight, and on his belt was a shiny, silver saber that Kylo had seen once before.

 _Anakin Skywalker._ The words clawed in the back of his mind like a rabid animal. Kylo jumped to his feet – he couldn't shake the surprise that was resting in his bones – his mouth was slightly ajar from shock.

"Grandfather," his voice was nothing more than a sheer whisper. The awe of seeing an actual Force ghost was starting to wear off. In its wake anger was beginning to surface.

"Now you've finally come to my aid. I've been calling for your help for years, and you've ignored me. You let me suffer alone, just like everyone else," Kylo spat.

"You wanted me to guide you farther to the Dark Side. I was afraid what my appearance would bring out in you. Probably a renewed vigor to destroy your enemies and your soul would have plunged farther into the darkness," Anakin placed in hands in his sleeve and planted his arms against his chest.

Kylo gritted his teeth, for he knew Anakin was correct – a month ago he would have taken that as a sign to push himself to be more heinous. To commit atrocities without remorse, and be as evil as he thought Darth Vader had been. Only one month ago had he been entranced by the idea of being the galaxy's most powerful Dark Lord.

"What matters is I'm here now, now that you need true guidance. I know what you feel for Rey – it's how I felt for your grandmother. You must be careful Ben," Anakin's voice became incisive.

"All I care about is keeping Rey safe," Kylo retorted. "That is a very pure deed."

"You must be careful, my own desire to protect your grandmother is what brought me to the Dark Side in the first place. Don't allow your connection to Rey leave you blind," Anakin warned.

But Kylo was still reeling from what the Skywalker had said. He'd never known why his grandfather had joined the Dark Side, Ren had just assumed he'd been just seeking power and eternal glory. It was why Ben had joined the Dark Side in the first place – for power and to follow in his grandfather's footsteps.

"You didn't submit to the darkness eagerly?" Kylo asked; he couldn't even keep out the confusion in his voice.

"Not at first. I had visions of your grandmother, Padme, dying in childbirth. So I started looking for a way to save her and unfortunately I stumbled upon Darth Sidious. Sidious told me of a way to save her, but I needed more power, so I did as he instructed. In the end my own wicked deeds turned me into a man Padme feared beyond belief. She died and that severed my final connection to the Light," Anakin said with exasperation.

Kylo remained quiet for a few seconds. It was odd to think that his grandfather had joined the Dark Side with a pure purpose and how rapidly he'd been twisted into a monster. Kylo had twisted himself into a monster on his own fruition.

Finally Kylo found his voice. "All I want to do now is end this war, how do I complete that and protect Rey," he inquired with determination.

Ren heard Anakin sigh. "That is for you to decide, Ben. You have to stray to the Light. Changing who you've been won't be easy – it will test in way you never thought possible."

"I don't think I can ever accept the Light back again, not after what I did." Ren felt sweat starting to bead on his forehead. It was nerve-racking just thinking about going back to the Light. He'd committed so many crimes, killed some many people – he feared his soul was too far gone for redemption. Rey believed he was worth redeeming, but he refuted her belief frequently.

"That is the only way you can protect her. Rey is the one who will bring balance to the Force – she is the chosen one. She's the only one strong enough to shatter Snoke's legacy." Anakin's voice was ardent as he tried to convince Kylo to change his path. "You can still go back to the Light Side. I committed more crimes than you can even imagine, I slayed an academy full of children, killed my wife, hunted and killed Jedi for years, tortured your mother, disfigured Luke – and I redeemed myself at the end of my life when I saved Luke and destroyed Emperor Palpatine."

Kylo soaked in the details his grandfather had spoken of. If his grandfather was able to find solace on the Light Side, maybe he could too. Rey had believed it was possible, but seeing Anakin here was proof.

Kylo thought of Rey and how she was the chosen one – it all made sense. It explained how she had blocked him out of her mind in their first interrogation, even without any training. The fact that Rey was more powerful than him, that she was adept when it came to picking up new skill – it strengthened his belief. "If that is the only way to beat Snoke, then I must protect her," he declared valiantly. "But how will I get her to Snoke so she can defeat him?"

"You need to find Luke, he will know how to find Snoke," his grandfather replied. It seemed Anakin knew well enough of what happened between him and Luke.

Ren involuntarily gulped. "I can't face my uncle. I'm sure he still hasn't forgiven me for what I've done. If I was him I wouldn't."

"Luke is still troubled, yes. But he's convinced himself he needs to let go of his regrets and stop holding anger in his heart. And you'd be surprised what Luke is capable when he puts his mind to it," the Skywalker smiled at him. "He won't kill you, Ben."

Kylo looked at his hands, sometimes he could still see the stained blood of his fellow classmates. It was hard to think Luke would forgive him for destroying years of his hard work and ingenuity. Luke had hoped to rebuild the Jedi Order, but Ben had crushed his uncle's dreams, as well as kill every pupil his uncle had worked to mold.

Even though it was clear Kylo had the option to go to the light – there was an intense fear that was buried inside himself – anytime he thought of returning home. There would be a reckoning if he went back to the Resistance; they would make him pay for the things he did. For the people he killed, for the treasonous crimes he'd committed in the name of the First Order. It paralyzed him with terror.

Part of him wanted to remain with the First Order, he had power here. The idea of submitting to the Light always seemed like a step backward, there was so much unlocked power he could still attain from the Dark Side. But power was not in his interest anymore and he needed to focus on what was really important to him – Rey.

"Thank you for your council, Grandfather. I know what I must do," Kylo headed for the door but the sound of his grandfather's voice beckoned him to stay for one more second.

"Good luck, Ben Solo. May the Force be with you," and just like that, Ben left the room to find Rey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, thank you so much for reading this chapter. So what did you guys think, will Kylo go to the Light? Please let me know what you thought of this chapter, the feedback has been amazingly helpful! :)
> 
> I just wanted to give a special thanks to heebers, Giggysmack, hoshiakari, boblehead, Mlntplasma and ShaeMama; thank you for being kind enough to review and give me your feelings and thoughts of the story. As for your question boblehead, I'm working on updating it to the point that it will be up to date with my Fanfiction story.
> 
> Next chapter should be coming out around this time next week! Thank you for taking the time to read, I hope all of you have a wonderful weekend! :)


	23. I Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Kylo Ren abducted Rey on Takodana, he had solely been seeking the map to Luke Skywalker from her. But once he felt Rey's connection to the Force, and learned of her ability to quell the war between dark and light within him – he knew there would be no letting her go so easily. Hopefully, she can see more than a monster in him. Slow burn Rey/Kylo

Rey sat there on the edge of the bed twiddling her thumbs. The nervousness that was trapped in her body had refused to leave her since Ben had left to speak with Snoke. She'd witnessed how frightened he was: He'd held her tighter than ever in their embrace, she had even felt him shake a little, his voice had sounded weak even though it had been robotic in nature, and Ben had even put extra effort into reassuring her everything would be okay. Something had to be wrong, she just knew it in the pit of her stomach.

It was sickening feeling powerless – there was nothing she could do to help Ben, he was a subject to his master's scorn now. She wished he could be there with him so they could face it to together, but she needed to accept the fact that they both had different battles to face.

Rey bit on her lip, trying to be patient had never her strong suit. It wasn't long before Rey stood up and grabbed the only book off Kylo's nightstand. _The History of Sith Lords and Their Power_ , it seemed like an interesting read for an aspiring Dark Lord, but to her it was just a history lesson. She started flipping through the pages enjoying the hand drawn pictures of the Sith Lords.

One page in particular had been marked by Kylo, the corner of the page was bent as if he wanted to remember to come here again. It was the relationship of Darth Plagueis the Wise and his apprentice Darth Sidious, the first and only Emperor of the previous Galactic Empire. She skimmed through the information with ease. Plagueis was powerful to say the least, he had learned how to nearly stop death and could create life using the Force. It was interesting how Plagueis taught Sidious everything he could. Rey kept reading until she reached the part about Darth Plagueis's demise. Darth Sidious had murdered Plagueis while he slept.

She wondered why Kylo had marked this page in particular. What had caused him to be so enraptured by this story? Had he planned to kill Snoke in such a way? Or had Kylo been curious on how to possess such power? Creating life and stopping death were powers that seemed impossible to obtain, but apparently they existed.

While she contemplated the ground shook as if a pulse wave had just passed through the room. Aggressively Rey dropped the book and clinched onto the edge of the bed to hold herself in position. Crashing and the sound of blasters resonated through the hallway – it sounded muted and distant. Something was going on outside the base, for a second Rey wondered if the base was under attack.

Rey closed her eyes to focus on the noise going on around her. She could feel tremors passing through the ground every so often, they were muffled but they existed. Either there was an earthquake going on, or this base was being bombarded with bomber strikes. It reminded Rey of the time her and Finn had sprinted for their lives from those TIE fighters on Jakku.

Just at the thought, Rey felt a little bit of melancholy. She hadn't thought of Finn hardly at all since her arrival. She was still hurt that he'd left her alone on their mission to get BB-8 to the Resistance. He'd wanted to start a new life, one free of the First Order. At the very least she hoped his new life was treating him well, that he was getting what he wanted.

Another tremor caused the room to tremble like a child afraid of a monster. This time she closed her eyes and extended her thoughts out toward her Dark Knight.

 _Kylo, what's going on, are you okay?_ There was a few seconds of calm before an answer jolted through her mind.

 _StarKiller Base is under attack from the Resistance. I'm on my way back and I'll explain everything._ The sound of Ben's voice was soothing in the confines of her brain.

Rey felt a ray of hope, maybe Kylo and her were going to leave or maybe the Resistance was coming to rescue her. She'd wanted to leave this base since the moment she arrived, Starkiller Base was filled with the most vile of people. Since she'd been captured Rey had wanted to be rescued, to brought back to her friends, even the Resistance. But now – now the idea of leaving Kylo behind made her stomach churn. She needed him in her life, the idea of leaving him with Hux and Snoke, it made her want to cry in agony. She couldn't let him be influenced anymore by those truly wicked monsters.

It wasn't long until the door flew open – Rey's head snapped up and instantly she found herself standing. Kylo charged across the room and walked passed her like she was some phantom, completely invisible to his eye.

"Rey we have to leave, now. Pack everything you need," she watched as Ben haphazardly rummaged through a cabinet drawer by his bed. He pulled out the blaster that Han Solo had given her and placed it on the back of his belt. She witnessed him check to make sure his saber was firmly attached to his own belt. He also pulled out some type of card that he slide into his robes.

"What happened between you and Snoke? Why is the base under attack?" She asked nervously. Rey grabbed hold of his arm and drew his attention toward her. Her eyes were drawn to the black slits of his mask – she wished to could gaze into his eyes, they were always her doorway to his feelings.

"My master decided to charge the Superweapon and it's targeting the Resistance stronghold's in the Illenium system. We have to stop the First Order from blowing up D'Qar." Kylo paused to take a short breath. "Snoke also gave me an ultimatum, I can hand you over to him or I will probably be branded a traitor and die. I don't like either of those options, so we can use this Resistance attack as a way to escape in the chaos."

Rey felt her eyes widen in shock. Kylo was suggesting they should leave – to her it seemed out of character. Ren seemed loyal to the First Order even though he'd shown a fondness of her. The last time she'd suggested they should run away Kylo Ren had spat the idea back in her face. He'd made it perfectly clear he found leaving distasteful and Ren had emphasized that there was no escaping the First Order or Snoke. Rey couldn't help but wonder what brought this change of heart for him to want to escape.

"Where exactly are we escaping to?" She inquired, her own heartbeat was starting to pick up wildly.

Even under that synthetic voice Rey could tell he was anxious. "We will be heading to the Resistance, and we need to get to Luke – he's the only one who can help us now."

"You're being serious? You want to go to the Resistance and you want to find Luke? I thought you said there was no way Luke would want to see you."

He had to be joking, right? Since the first time they met she knew he despised the Resistance, even now his opinion of them was indifferent at best. Kylo had repeatedly told her how he'd never go to the Resistance or see his uncle again – she knew he feared what would happen if either got their hands on him.

"I'm serious, I'm doing this because it is your destiny to find Luke and complete your training," his voice remained firm.

She was paralyzed.

He was doing this for her?

Internally she wasn't certain how to react. It seemed like a dream come true, them running away together. That he was willing to do this for her, face the judgment of the Resistance and his uncle. That Kylo Ren genuinely might want repentance for the crimes he committed. It was the most kind and sacrificial thing someone had ever done for her.

"Why are you really doing this?" Her voice was as soft as a grass. "You're lying to me, right?"

"I'm doing this for you, Rey," Ben straightened and repeated himself with confidence. She could see his shoulders and chest being thrown out before her like a badge of honesty.

Rey casually squared herself in front of the tall Dark Lord. It was always staggering the height difference between them, she wasn't keen on having to crane her neck to look at him. Rey reached up to run her fingers down his cold, metallic mask. "You're doing this for me? Why?"

"I was told it was your destiny to find Luke and bring balance to the Force. Who am I to stop destiny?" It was hard to tell because his mask stripped away so much emotion, but Rey was near certain she could still hear hints of tenderness. "Plus I can't live without you."

"And I can't living without you, Ben Solo," she allowed the words to flow from her lips as if it was the most natural thing she'd ever said. "I think I'm in love with you."

This was what loved felt like? Being so happy that she could just explode with joy, Rey wondered. She'd never felt this way about anyone before, and no one had ever put this much effort into wanted to be around her or into protecting her. Ben had always been honest with her, even when the truth was ugly. He'd trained her, taught her to defend herself. Ben had opened up the Force to her, taught her everything he seemed to know that wasn't dark. Deep down Rey trusted Kylo implicitly – she only hoped that wouldn't be her downfall.

"I love you too, Rey," Kylo pulled her close, the smell of Ryoos clung to his robes. She loved the smell of those musky Naboo flowers that had become Kylo's natural scent to her. Kylo hugged her tighten than he'd ever hugged her before. She felt so safe and protected in his embrace. Something felt a little different about him too, as if his hug was more weightless than ever. It was as if a weight from his shoulders had been lifted and she was sensing the effects.

Never before had she felt this happy in her life, then again her life hadn't been the happiest of things on Jakku. Rey wanted nothing more than to kiss Ben until she could no longer breath. There was no way she would ever let him go after today.

"How are we escaping?" Rey finally broke the silence.

"We need to shut down the shields so the Resistance can attack the base. I plan to bypass the bridge's controls and lock the firing mechanism, which will allow the base's power cells to overheat," he whispered into her ear. She already missed his organic, smooth voice and the feeling of his hot breath on her ear.

"How are the power cell's going to overheat? Didn't the First Order foresee an issue like that happening?" Rey asked as she broke their hug so she could inspect him.

"When the First Order built this base, we designed the power cells to only contain the sun's power for a short time. Getting power cells that could retain the energy of a sun for a prolonged period of time was very pricy and viewed as unnecessary. The design of the Superweapon is essentially to act like a re-director, it takes in the energy to just project it back out within seconds. But the power cells can't retain that amount of energy for too long otherwise the cells start becoming unstable and they eject the energy in anyway possible, which will cause the planet to explode."

Rey smiled. "And I assume before that we are leaving?"

"Of course, hangar bay seventeen isn't far from the shield control room," he said as he let go of her entirely. "But there is only one way to move you around without suspicion." Rey already didn't like what was coming next, and as Kylo pulled out electronic restraints Rey felt her frown deepen.

"I hate this plan," Rey grumbled as Kylo placed the cuffs on her wrists. She could almost sense the amusement that Ren was caught in – she would have treasured the chance to smack the smug thoughts from his mind.

They were about to leave, and Rey definitely looked like a prisoner. It was clever but not ideal for her. He was pulling on his shiny, ebony cloak when she saw Ben go rigid. His body was suspended like a statue and she could almost feel this wave of anxiousness emanating from him.

"My father – he's here, on the base," Kylo's voice sounded frail.

Rey frowned at the lack of enthusiasm in his tone. She had hoped both Ben and his father could come to good terms, but maybe it was too soon to know. Ben had told her of how his father had suggested it was best for Ben to be trained by Luke, and since that day things had been icy between the two.

"Everything will be fine, Ben," she tried her best to reassure him. "Let's just focus on getting out of here first."

"You're right," he replied with a sigh. "Do you have everything you need," he asked one last time. Rey nodded and allowed herself to roll back on the balls of her feet as Kylo Ren finally opened the door.

They left Kylo's room for the very last time – Rey secretly missed the place already, it was like their safe haven they were leaving behind. As they left Rey felt like she was walking into chaos. The noise that filled Rey's ears was overwhelming. Alarm buzzers were starting to blare down the stretch of hall. Kylo took the lead which left her little time to understand what was going on around her.

Kylo walked through the hallways with confidence, like she was once again his property. Rey could feel Ren's gloved fingers digging into her skin as he tried his best to make it believable that she was his prisoner. No one was going to be questioning Kylo Ren's authority anyways – to them he was still their commander.

She'd never seen so much bustling about as troopers jogged through the halls. Technicians were sprinting around carrying data pads in their hands and officers barked orders at them. It was like a circus – Rey was glad they were heading away from the intense noise and activity.

It seemed they were heading in the direction of the shields control, Rey was almost certain because she didn't recognize this portion of the base. The layout was different, more open, there were ledged pathways above them that were parallel. Troopers charged around in the halls above with their blasters in hand and a readiness to attack in their steps.

Kylo yanked on her arm and pressed her against a wall away from the Stormtrooper's sight. The feeling of his body being pushed up against her caused a little whimper to exit between her lips. "I'm going to check to make sure the shield bunker is empty. It will look too suspicious if I come in there with a prisoner."

Rey nodded her understanding as Kylo helped remove her restraints. Involuntarily, Rey massaged her wrists for the cuffs had been much tighter than need be. Ben handed Rey Han Solo's pistol, the silvery cover was still shiny even after her excursion on Takodana. She aimed the gun forward to check the small sights – the pistol was balanced to perfection, it was unlike any blaster she'd ever held.

"If anyone other an me comes by you, kill them, got it?" He instructed her.

Kylo's gloved hand caressed her cheek, for a second Rey felt herself diving into his palm. She wanted to feel his hot skin against her flesh – Rey tried to remain focused but Kylo's tender touch was causing her to be highly distracted.

"Be safe, I'll be back in a minute or two," he said in a hushed tone, before he disappeared down the hall. She watched as his starry-midnight cloak swayed as he took heavy steps. Ren's fists were clenched as if he knew trouble was afoot. Rey pressed herself against the wall with her blaster and hoped a patrol would not find her.

She stood there, pressed to the wall for five minutes before worry started to overtake her. Ben had promised he would return shortly, and Rey was starting to wonder what was holding him up. Could he be in need of back up, she wondered.

It wasn't the best decision but Rey crept around the corner and started to head down the hall like a predator stalking prey. Low voices resonated off the walls but they were distorted. As she started to approach a very large looking bunker door on the left, the voices became more audible.

"I'm in charge now, I'm in charge, Kylo Ren. How does it feel, huh? Huh?" The voice was oddly familiar, as well as zealous to Rey which piqued her interest further. "How did it feel to finally be taken down?"

There were deep rumbles and growls Rey was unable to make out. It sound animalistic in nature, somehow even that sounded familiar, but she couldn't understand how it could be.

"Yeah, yeah, we both know that I was the one who took Kylo down. You were just there for moral support." The humanoid voice replied.

"I could kill you both if I wanted to," she heard Kylo Ren speak. His tone was dark and malicious, Rey felt the hairs on her arms stand up. The last time she'd heard Kylo sound that vicious was when he'd spoken to Hux. "It would be easy like stomping on a bug."

"Then why haven't you killed us yet," the human asked – he sounded truly perplexed.

That's when Rey turned the corner to enter the bunker and her jaw dropped in surprise. Chewie had his arms around Ben and was holding him in place while Finn had a blaster loosely pointing in Kylo's face. Obviously this was some interrogation that was going on.

"Rey," Kylo whispered behind his mask. He said her name as if he hadn't said it in a million years.

"Rey?" Finn said puzzled, finally he whipped around to face her. " _Rey_ ," he yelled at the top of his lungs. Finn sprinted across the room and threw himself into her arms. "I came back for you," he murmured over her shoulder.

Rey gave Finn a crushing hug. "I thought you left for a new life? What made you change your mind?"

They pulled apart for a second, Rey examined Finn for the first time in weeks. He looked different, more self-assured, stronger, his eyes had a brightness to them that was unparalleled. Finn also had Poe Dameron's brown jacket on still, but Finn had grown into it. He was no longer a man who pretended to be part of the Resistance – he was the Resistance. She had missed her friend something sick, and she was so glad to see he hadn't given up and just abandoned them.

Finn's eyes were roaming, searching her face for something, maybe he just wanted to make sure she was fine. Rey wasn't certain what he was looking for, but his dark brown pupils eventually made it back to her eyes.

"I saw you get dragged away by Kylo Ren and I knew I had to come back for you. How did you escape?" Finn's eyes darted over to Kylo Ren with heavy suspicion.

"I hate to break up your little reunion but Rey can you please explain to these two how we're on the same side," Kylo growled. For a second Rey sensed pangs of jealousy rolling from Kylo's voice. Or maybe he just wanted Chewie to stop crushing him.

Rey looked over at Finn who had went back to staring at her. "You'll never believe it, but Kylo's here to help us. He's going to shut down the shields."

Chewbacca let Kylo go with a roar and to everyone's surprise Chewie gave Kylo a pat on the back.

Finn grabbed hold of Rey's arm and forced her to look at him. "You don't seriously trust him, do you Rey? The guys a killer, a Jedi killer at that. How could we defend ourselves against him if he has a change of heart and wants to work for the First Order again?" Finn was whispering, but she could tell Kylo heard it. Waves of irritation were rolling from him like a vicious tide.

Rey was about to respond when the sound of boot steps bounced off the walls. Someone was behind them, and both her and Finn tensed – they both refused to turn around and face their attacked. Rey feared it was General Hux or some officer of the First Order that had stumbled upon them. She prepared herself for the possibility that someone's brains could be all over the wall momentarily. Rey closed her eyes and waited for a gunshot, until she heard a familiar voice speak behind them.

"Ben?" Han Solo whispered. "Is that really you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I hope you enjoyed the update and tell me what you guys thought, any feedback would be truly appreciated. I hope this chapter wasn't too dull, but next chapter will be extra juicy with a father-son reunion, an escape plan and certain characters butting-heads, so stay tuned!


	24. Father and Son

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Kylo Ren abducted Rey on Takodana, he had solely been seeking the map to Luke Skywalker from her. But once he felt Rey's connection to the Force, and learned of her ability to quell the war between dark and light within him – he knew there would be no letting her go so easily. Hopefully, she can see more than a monster in him.

It was the first time Ben had physically seen his father in seven years. The last time had been a year before he decided to submit to the Dark Side. Before he had destroyed his innocence and exacted vengeance on all the students at Luke's academy. Ben had been conversing with Snoke regularly and it wasn't soon after he'd accepted the mantle as Kylo Ren.

Things had changed about Han Solo. His face had aged drastically since they had last seen each other. Wrinkles had appeared on his forehead and his hair had fully grayed. There was a look of nostalgia, pain and desperation that sparkled in his father's eyes – it injured Ben to see it. He had been anxiously awaiting this moment for years, the moment when they would face each other. When they had to look each other in the eyes and own up to their mistakes. Ben had been a stubborn son, and Han hadn't been the best father – but maybe they had been the best they could be under the circumstances. That's at least what Ben had considered during his long time of reflection, his many years of reflection to be exact.

As Kylo's gaze glazed around his father's face he noticed that some things had remained the same. His father's upper lip was still quirked up like a sly little smirk, even with that look of shock that was plastered on his face. In old age his dad still had that scruffy look to him, like he was that back alley brawler who could swindle a beggar out of their money.

"Ben." His father repeated, as if saying his name again would illicit an immediate response. Instead Kylo remained silent, part of him was enjoying the dread his father was displayed. His father paced toward him with short strides as if he was trying to bide his time to think of some way to mend things. Things between them had been broken for years, not even Kylo was sure things could be fixed, at least not with simple pleasantries.

"I've been waiting a long time for this," Kylo finally replied ending a short amount of suspense. "Patiently hoping that you would have something better to say after everything that's happened."

His dad squared himself directly in Kylo's face. It was odd how short his father seemed compared to him. Ben should have known sooner that he was like someone else, someone like his grandfather, Anakin Skywalker – tall, dark-haired, strong with the Force.

"Take off that mask, you don't need it, Ben," Han said it in the most commanding tone he could muster.

"What do you think you'll see? A ruthless monster, a power-hungry Jedi Killer, a kid you taught to fight and pilot ships, a hurt boy who need someone to look up to–."

"I'll see the face of my son. The son I should have been there for when he needed me most," Han uttered, his voice soft and gentle. Timidly, his father reached up and grasped his shoulder.

Sure enough the annoying trooper that Rey called a friend had to shout in surprise. "What? This is your son, Solo? You decided to leave that detail out, that your son is the psychopathic Dark Lord of the First Order."

His father shot Finn a gaze that was nothing short of murderous. Finn was quiet, but Kylo knew it wouldn't be for long. Ren found the former Stormtrooper insufferable already, he wasn't certain how he would bear being around the man with Rey.

Kylo had seen the way Finn looked at Rey, as if she was his hero. That even in Finn's failure attempt of a rescue mission, the person who was being saved was him, like Rey had redeemed him by just being in her presence. Finn was probably just trying to put his guilty conscience to rest, but he'd been the one who had abandoned his best friend. Kylo wanted to judge Finn harsher, but he knew he couldn't. Currently Ben was branding himself a traitor to the First Order. He had killed a lot of people and if this was truly a trial he'd be one of the first to be branded as the galaxy's scion of pure evil.

"Ben," Han called Kylo's attention back with his sheer will. "Take off the mask," his father iterated again.

"I can't," Kylo replied. "Not until my mission is over, I need to stop the First Order from destroying D'Qar. I can use my identity as Kylo Ren to keep you all safe, for now. Just let me shut down the shields."

"Does that mean you're coming home," the old smuggler asked in that low, gravelly octave that told Ben his father was holding in his relief. "You're mother and I miss you."

"I'm coming home," Ben replied. He was happy that his mask was still on. Kylo didn't want to give his father the satisfaction of seeing a genuine smile on his face. Well, he didn't want his father to have that satisfaction just yet.

For the first time in years Ben saw his father give him a joyous, sideways grin. "Alright, son. I trust you," he said softly and stepped aside allowing him to get access to the control panel. Ben could feel waves of bliss washing over his father, it was nearly contagious. Ben had to repress his father's own feeling and focus on the task at hand.

Finn was standing in front of the large console. Kylo approached slowly his steps were loud as his boots hit the floor. Even as Ren was standing, waiting to release the shields Finn refused to move.

"I need to shut down the shields," Kylo uttered beneath his mask. "You need to move," he tried to keep his voice as neutral as possible.

Finn stood like a statue, as if he was an unmovable force. A look of mistrust burned within the ex-trooper's gaze. He had been part of the First Order, so Finn was acutely aware of his reign in the First Order. Gaining his trust would be near impossible, especially if he kept looking at Rey as if he was obsessed with her.

"Kid, you can move," Han cut in. Chewie even gave out a roar of approval. Still Finn stood there, his eyes narrowing.

Finally Rey stepped in. "Finn, please. Give Kylo a chance to prove his loyalty. I allowed you the same opportunity." It seemed that only Rey's voice was the words of wisdom Finn chose to listen to. He allowed Rey to guide him away from the console.

Ben sat down and typed in as many security codes as he could muster. First he made sure to remove the shields as this was the only place you could access the shields, it was impossible remotely. He felt Rey plant her hand on his shoulder as he went about his work – the pride was almost pulsing through her fingertips.

Without any words, Ben locked the bridge's control to the firing mechanism. He spliced the code requiring a correct pin to access the Superweapon itself.

"Nice job," Rey murmured. "It seems I'm not the only one who's tech savvy around here." She gave him a beguiling smile.

"I learned basic First Order coding when I arrived. I never thought it would be handy until now," he replied to Rey. Kylo stood up, and took his place next to Chewie and Han. Everyone seemed to be staring at him as if they were waiting for his next move.

Ben clear his throat loudly. "Where's the Falcon," Kylo questioned. "I assume we are leaving on that."

Kylo had never been on the Millennium Falcon before. His whole childhood his father had been searching for the ship, as if it was his lost child. Han had always talked so highly of the cargo ship, as if it was an extension of himself, as if that ship was his true home. Ben was looking forward to actually getting to see this legendary masterpiece with his own eyes.

His father gave him a tenacious grin. "Yeah, but you're not going to like where we parked it."

* * *

They were charging across the frozen ground, with every step the snow crunched beneath him. But the sound of walking on snow paled in comparison to the explosions and fire fighting that was raging on above them. It was raining ship parts as chunks of metal flew from the sky and crashed violently against the ground. Snow and wind was whipping them in the face as his father stopped them for a second. Kylo's fingers were become numb as the cold winds ripped away at his gloves and skin.

"The Resistance needs our help otherwise all the pilots will be dead before they break through and destroy the base," his father was yelling over the howling wind.

"Poe's up there, we have to help them," Finn responded in a booming voice that carried over the wind.

Kylo did remember the best Resistance pilot in the fleet, Poe Dameron. It was a shame the first time they had met was in an interrogation cell. Ren was certain there would be no way to win Poe over, that man would despise him for the things he'd done, specifically breaking his mind.

As a group they collectively changed their trajectory toward the Precinct 47 that was the base's thermal oscillator. They already knew it was the weak spot of the base and the First Order had put a lot of defense up to protect it. Ground-stationed guns provided ground support while TIE Fighter's were the sweeping air support. Kylo knew without help the Resistance pilot's would be dead shortly.

They entered the Precinct together – it was dark and only a few streams of natural light were making it through as the sun's power disappeared. The place was like a giant empty, vast drum, hollow but strong. It had levels that seemed to climb up like a coliseum. As they walked farther on the metal grates it was like walking into an earthquake. The Resistance's ships were relentless in their attacks, for the ground refused to sit perfectly still.

Right away Han split them into groups. His father seemed to noticed the way he was clinging to Rey, as if he was a child who would be lost without a mother.

Han decided to take Finn and Chewie to the upper floors, while Kylo and Rey were to plant the bombs on the ground level and distribute them around the whole floor. He fell in step with Rey as they started planting the bombs on any metal object that allowed it.

"You're friend Finn doesn't trust me," Kylo noted in a mellow tone.

Rey was kneeling on the metal floor but she looked up at him. "He was part of the First Order, he probably knows what you're capable of. And he knows about the crimes you've committed I'm sure. He'll warm up to you," Rey reassured him.

"I doubt he will," Kylo murmured as he handed Rey one of the explosive. "Even my father is still leery around me, and your friend Finn will resist trusting me as long as possible."

Rey stood up, this time she turned to face Ben. There was a sparkle of understanding floating in her gaze as she put her hand on his shoulder. Kylo felt her fingers graze down his arm before Rey grabbed his hand tightly.

"Be patient Ben, things will heal in time. All you have to do is give them reason to trust you, prove to them you have unwavering loyalty. It will take time, but that is the price to pay." Rey awarded him a genuine smile. "Now let's get these bombs placed so we can go home."

Rey turned away instantly absorbing herself in the task at hand. Kylo was about to join her when he felt a pair of eyes lingering on him, he looked up toward the upper loft to see Finn staring down at him. Flickers of suspicion and loathing passed through Ben's head as if he was reading Finn's mind.

Memories of screaming, darkness, fire, blood, rushed inside Kylo's brain. He was hovering over a dead man, blood was streaming from his fingers, as he grasped the trooper's arm. The crimson stood out against the white of the troopers uniform, but the man was limp – too heavy for him to lift.

Villagers were panicking, running away as they were shot in the back. Some were begging for mercy, crying as they held their children in their arms. It mattered not, they were all mowed down, slaughtered as if they were livestock. Flames consumed homes, the very livelihood of these poor, innocent beings who were just clinging onto life.

Kylo looked up to see a figure was turned around watching him, a figure in dark robes and a mask. The orange of the flames blazed off the metallic portion of the mask, but the black of his mask was free of any reflective light. Kylo felt his heart start to beat wildly in his chest because he was staring back at himself. It was like he was staring at the hidden face of an emotionally devoid beast.

Another memory was beginning to formulate in his mind, another one of himself. It was dark, the only light were the dancing flames of the burning villages. Ben watched as Kylo Ren was crouching over an old man. They were chatting unfortunately he was too far away – he couldn't make out what they were saying but he could see the tension locked between them. In a flash of red, Kylo Ren raised his lightsaber and slashed it right through the old man. He watched as the elderly man's head rolled across the ground and settled in the sand.

 _Cold-blooded killer._ The words rang like a war cry in his mind. _He can't be forgiven. He can't be trusted._ Those phrases were weaving their way right into his very soul. Kylo could feel his shoulder's bowing under the insults running through Finn's mind. _He's a monster._ Ben wanted it to stop, his brain was aching but he couldn't allow himself to be broken. No, not now, he wasn't going to allow Finn's feelings defeat him.

"Kylo, are you okay?" Rey snapped him from Finn's thoughts. Ben was glad for the distraction, if he'd had to relive that memory again his sanity might have been stolen for him. The ground shook as the bombers had probably landed another round of blasts on the Precinct.

"I'm fine," he replied as he turned away from Finn. Ren knew Finn was still staring down at him, but he didn't think he could acknowledge another memory, especially not one as vivid as the last. It was a blessing his mask was still on, he was sure Finn would have seen the pain playing upon his face.

Kylo nodded, again he went back to following Rey, he handed her the magnet explosives and they were near done now. As they placed the last bombs into position, Han, Chewie and Finn joined them down below.

"Let's get the hell out of here so we can blow this place up," Han said hastily. Chewie let out a noise of approval. They headed toward the exit when footsteps started to bounce off the walls and the walkways filled up with Stormtroopers. Their blasters were up, but they weren't firing yet which was surprising.

"You didn't think you'd be escaping so easily," a voice resonated off the cold, metal interior.

"Get behind me," Kylo pulled Rey so she was pressed against his back and no longer in the line of fire. The soldiers had surrounded them, Ren was preparing to pull his lightsaber to his hand using Force. Even behind him, Ben could feel that Rey had pulled out her blaster and was ready to fire. Chewie, Finn and Han were prepared to jump behind one of the metal pipes that ran vertically allow the whole Precinct.

They all watched in suspense as a woman in the most metallic armor came out and started to wander toward them. Her statue was very proud and confident as if she had just struck the jackpot.

"Captain Phasma," Kylo Ren yelled, his own synthetic voice was straining to be heard. "This doesn't have to come to bloodshed."

"I disagree, Lord Ren. Or should I say, Ben Solo, now that you are fraternizing with the enemy. I knew that girl was going to turn you, me and Hux both were certain of it," Phasma said regally. "But now with you gone there will be more power for me and Hux."

The chances of negotiation were slipping through his fingers like sand. There was no way Phasma was going to listen to what he had to say now. They were going to have to settle this in a clash of strength and skill.

"You ready," his father whispered to all of them.

"Always," Ben hissed through gritted teeth. His lightsaber flew into his hand and he blocked two blaster shots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry for the late update. I hope you guys all enjoyed the new chapter with the reunion of Han and Ben. Please tell me what you thought of this chapter, I really would like some honest feedback of this section of the story since this is a transition of roles for Kylo Ren.
> 
> I just wanted to give a special thanks to Marcus_Aurelius, Lachicabandida, and neternefer for being kind enough to comment and give me your feelings and thoughts of the story.
> 
> Thank you for taking the time to read. Next chapter there will be a battle, possibly character(s) deaths and maybe an escape – we'll see. ;) I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend, may the Force be with you! :)


	25. A Family Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Kylo Ren abducted Rey on Takodana, he had solely been seeking the map to Luke Skywalker from her. But once he felt Rey's connection to the Force, and learned of her ability to quell the war between dark and light within him – he knew there would be no letting her go so easily. Hopefully, she can see more than a monster in him.

The Precinct was a cylinder, with a walkway that ran straight down the middle. In their current situation the Stormtroopers were surrounding them from both the circular walkways and the walkway in the middle. Rey didn't like their odds, but she had seen Kylo Ren fight before. He was ferocious like a savage beast, as if every fight was his last and he was going to utilize every ounce of his power.

Within seconds the troopers were blasting away at the former Dark Lord. "Get behind that beam," Kylo instructed Rey, with his synthetic, commanding voice.

She knew he wanted this to be non-negotiable, but she couldn't bring herself to leave Kylo's side – to leave him fending for himself. The Stormtroopers as well as this Captain Phasma were relentless in their attack on Kylo. They were strategically landing all their fire on him, trying to catch him off guard, but Ren was defending himself admirably. It was unintentional, but Rey felt her eyes widen in shock. Ben was fighting like a true Jedi Knight; he was moving his saber so fast even she was having a hard time keeping track of his movements. Ben was rebounding their shots – a few of the Stormtroopers fell over the ledge and tumbled down into nothingness.

Rey could feel the heat as blaster shots whizzed right past her side. She was still standing behind Kylo wanting to defend her friends. These trained killers, these Stormtroopers had tried to kill her at every turn. These First Order soldiers were responsible for the attack on Maz's castle, and for nearly killing her on Jakku.

Rey turned around to see Han and Chewie on her right tightly tucked away and Finn on the left – they were all using the metal pipes in the Precinct to hide behind. Han was particularly aggressive, his face locked in a focused, and dangerous state. Finn looked quite seasoned for this too, it was good to see her friend excited to fight back. The three of them were blasting away the soldiers from the circular scaffolds, which was releasing pressure on Ben.

Rey rolled to the left and pressed herself against the metal pipe and Finn. She stood up to get a better view of the soldiers, and that's when Rey's hand collided with a metal object on Finn's belt. Eyes wide, Rey saw the lightsaber from Maz's castle, the lightsaber that had called to her, _Luke Skywalker's old lightsaber_. Unable to control herself, Rey found herself reaching for it and plucking the blade right off Finn's belt.

The metal hilt was cold against her skin, but it felt so right to hold the blade in her hand. The first time she had Luke's rightful lightsaber she'd been terrified, still shaken from her vision. The Force that had been emitted from the saber had frightened her, but the strength of the Force coursing through her veins now was empowering.

Her brown eyes shot up and settled on Ben. She had practiced for this: blocking shots, stopping bullets in the air, using the Force to push enemies away. A meek smirk danced across the scavenger's lips as she realized she was ready for this – to accept the mantle as a Jedi. She was a rare Force-sensitive being, the daughter of a Jedi Knight, a man with honor – and she was going to honor him.

Rey walked out, the feeling of blaster fire soaring past her face startled her momentarily. The sound of the lightsaber's rhythmic humming was helping to relax her as she took her place next to Kylo Ren. The blue from her saber mixed with the unstable red which illuminated off Ben's mask. He was still blocking the Stormtroopers shots, his head focused straight ahead. The troopers were keeping their distance from them, so they had removed the element of close combat. Instead her and Ben were put on the defensive blocking shots was the only form of attack.

The walkway to her and Kylo's current position was narrow for the Stormtroopers to cross. Rey smiled as an idea jumped into her thoughts. Instantly, she outstretched her palm as a wave of Force energy was dispelled from her hand. The troopers on the scaffold were knocked down and two tumbled over the edge. Not given much time to revel in her victory, Rey pulled her lightsaber up to block a blasted that was flying at her.

Now the Stormtroopers were taking a keen interesting in both her and Kylo equally. Even Captain Phasma had fallen back as her soldiers were felled. Now the captain was using them as a shield, forcing them to defend herself as if her life mattered more than theirs. It was good to see that even with numbers on their side the captain still wasn't confident enough to challenge them. Both her and Kylo slowly were creeping along the center walk way – it was minute but it was progress.

That's when the scavenger heard a scream resonate off the metal walls of the Precinct. It had come from behind her – she tried to stay focused but Rey found herself turning around to see Finn clutching his side in desperation. Helplessly, her friend fell to his knees, and his fingers sunk into the metal grating of the floor. Blood was flowing down and dripping into the nothingness below them.

 _No. No, no, no!_ Her head was spinning and Rey wanted to run over there to help her friend up, but she couldn't. If she stopped blocking shots she could get hurt, or worse they could hurt her and Ben.

Sorry, Finn, you will have to wait a few minutes, she told herself reluctantly.

Rey's eyes zoomed in on Ben, his position had advanced passed hers. His saber was soaring through the air like a bright red beacon as he slashed through his enemies. That's when she noticed Ben had cleared the last of the Stormtroopers off the center scaffold. The sound of his boots smashing against metal was intense. Rey saw Kylo charging at the nearly unguarded Captain Phasma. Her eyes widened as Ren sliced through the last two troopers defending the Captain. The savagery in his attacks were well noted, he was determined to get to this officer.

Phasma was about to try an escape but Ben's hand flew forward, stopping the big-boned officer in her tracks. The captain was paralyzed – Rey knew how hopeless it felt to be trapped in Kylo Ren's forceful grasp, it hadn't been terribly long since she'd been caught in his ability.

"You're not leaving Phasma," Rey watched in horror as Ben lifted her off the ground. The officer's hands unconsciously went to her throat as she struggled for freedom.

"You thought you were just going to run away and hide behind Hux. Well you're wrong." To Rey's surprised Kylo said it with high levels of malice. She could feel the former Dark Lord was enjoying how much power and how helpless Captain Phasma was in his clutches.

Fear was stirring within her, she remembered the anger that had radiated from Kylo when he'd held Hux in his grasp. She had felt those waves of hatred that had possessed him; Ben held the same level of contempt for this officer. He wanted to destroy her, Rey could feel it in the pit of her stomach – the disgust that roiled within Kylo Ren was powerful.

"Kylo, this isn't about revenge," Rey reminded Ben in a steady voice.

Even through his mask Rey could hear him scoff. "You think she deserves an sympathy? She would've shown us none. It's cruel but we need to kill her."

Rey hated to admit it, but Kylo was right about somethings, Phasma probably wouldn't have shown them a drop of mercy. But that was the way of the First Order, no mercy and no compassion. Part of Rey wanted the girl dead, but destroying every enemy in their way wasn't the Resistance's path or the Jedi's.

"Death doesn't scare me Kylo, kill me now if you dare," the captain declared valiantly. There was no doubt about it, even in the face of death the officer wasn't afraid. She sounded far too confident for that.

The silver-armored officer spoke again. "Remember when I told you that the people in the First Order are wicked people, Lord Ren? Well, there is no changing a wicked person, and you were the most wicked of us all. No matter how hard you try to change for these Resistance traitors, you'll always be a monster."

But before Rey and Kylo Ren could say anything Captain Phasma attempted to break free of Kylo Ren's grasp. She would have been successful except for the fact that Kylo Ren tossed her a little sideways so when she hit the ground her feet were on the edge of the metal scaffold. It was quick but the captain's footing was a shy off balanced. Before they could even do anything Captain Phasma slipped and she was tumbling toward nothingness. Her silver armor blazed a brilliant trail as she fell straight down into the misty endless Precinct.

Joints locked from shock, Rey finally found the energy to look up at Ben. He seemed equally surprised at how things had transpired, about how he'd lost his grip on Phasma – the scavenger could see it as his fists were balled so tight. Rey wanted to comfort him, but they needed to escape.

Rey turned her saber off and attached it to her belt. In the corner of her eye she noticed Ben had turned his blade off too, but he was still holding it in his hand tightly; his eyes still fixated on where Phasma had fallen.

Rey found her feet directing her back to Finn, Chewie and Han. Her knees knelt to the metal grating as she looked in despair upon her friend. How could she have allowed Finn to be hurt? How? The scavenger had thought she'd lost Finn back on Takodana, but watching him almost bleed to death was far more painful. She reached out to stroke her friend's cheek when a hairy hand stopped her.

Chewie grasped her hand and let go immediately. He picked up Finn from the floor and tucked her friend in his arms. The Wookie let out a massive roar, Rey knew Chewie wanted to get out of here so they could get medical help for Finn.

"Let's head back to the ship now, while we can," Han commanded. "As soon as we get out of here, we are blowing up this joint."

As Rey followed them out of the Precinct and into the cold, her feet felt like metal bricks. Finn was badly wounded; she hadn't been strong enough or diligent enough to protect him. She thought once she'd become a Jedi she would have been better at protecting her friends, but maybe that wasn't the case. Rey finally heard Ben fall into step behind her, as they entered the frozen woods and headed back to the ship.

* * *

The sound of the hyperdrive springing into action rang in Rey's ears as she knew they were approaching D'Qar. She had felt the tremors of Starkiller Base as they had taken off – there was no way that base was still intact. Ben Solo had succeeded in helping them shut down the shields and obliterate the First Order weapon. Rey was ecstatic; no longer was she in the hands of the First Order and she could continue on her goal to find Luke. She only wished Ben was as excited as her.

Since they had boarder the Millennium Falcon Ben had been silent. He still hadn't removed his mask or even stopped clutching his saber tightly. It was as if he was caught in a stupor and was unable to release himself. The slits of his mask were directed straight at Chewie who was attending to Finn's wounds. She didn't know why he was so incessant in his staring at Finn, it was as if he wanted her friend to burst into flames and turn to dust.

"Ben are you okay?" Rey inquired meekly; her voice was lacking it's normal strength.

Finally after a few seconds, the former Dark Lord turned his head toward her. "Do you think I'm a monster, Rey?" He said only loud enough for her to hear.

Caught by surprised, Rey was unable to come up with an answer. Her mouth was frozen in a slack-jaw expression. "No," she finally forced words out of herself. "You're the antithesis of a monster, Ben."

It was obvious that her declaration hadn't ease his feelings of despair. "Ben, you've changed. Don't allow some stupid officer deter you when you've worked so hard to fight the darkness," Rey exclaimed. "I believe in you, I know you're a good person Ben."

"I killed Captain Phasma. She knew I would kill her because I'm a monster still. I can't fight the anger sometimes," he muttered in defeat.

"It seemed more like an accident than anything. You're a better person Ben, you saved all of us and most of the Resistance," Rey tried to console him. She wrapped her arm around his side quickly and awarded him a side hug. The former Dark Lord was unresponsive.

Ben Solo remained silent and Rey wasn't certain she could say anymore to lift his spirits. Instead she watched as Chewie tried his best to attend to Finn's wound. He had bandaged it, but what her friend truly needed was a doctor and soon. Rey was worried for him, she wished he'd never been injuried in the firefight, but she had been proud of how he'd fought back.

The feeling of the Falcon landing stirred both her and Ben from their seats. She watched as Chewie picked up Finn and carried him over to exit. Han came from the cockpit, his steps were filled with extra bursts of energy. The smuggled turned to his son and smiled.

"You're mom is waiting for us, she asked me to bring you home. She'll be so happy to see you," he said in a gravelly voice.

The door to the ship opened – bright light streamed in illuminating the whole dull interior of the Falcon. Chewie was the first one to walk out as he carried Finn to medical transport. Rey declared that she would visit him very soon, just as soon as the young Solo had settled in.

Rey, Han and Ben were the next ones to step out of the Millennium Falcon and right away she saw an older lady waiting for them. General Leia Organa, the legendary war hero and the commander of the Resistance. Her hair was braided up top in an old style that Rey didn't recognize, but the general's face seemed to have aged beautifully.

There were no words exchanged as the father, son and mother stared at each other, but Rey could feel this electric and exciting tension escaping into the air. Kylo remained still, his shoulders tense and his statue was almost imperial in nature. Han had a crooked smile on his face, his body was lax as he took one more step forward.

"You told me to bring him home," Han said with a ghostly smirk on his lips. "So I did."

That's when Leia rushed over to her husband and son grappling them in a tight hug. Rey watched the reunion with a smile on her face and tears in her eyes.

 _Thank you, Rey. For giving me the strength to come home._ The words rang inside her mind – she knew it was Ben.

So this is what a happy family reunion looks like, Rey thought to herself. She wondered if she would ever have the chance to meet any of her family, with her father dead and the whereabouts of her mother unknown she doubted it. At the very least, Rey was glad she had helped to reunite a broken family. A family that had been torn about by a mad-man lusting after the power of a boy who had been unsure of his place in the world.

Rey looked up at the soldiers around her and realized that most of the people on the base were staring at Ben who was still wearing his dark robes and mask. Rey saw two soldiers walked toward Kylo. One tall, adorned in a bright orange uniform. The other was an average height, his uniform was a dark gray. They both had guns in their hands, and their steps were regal.

They went to Kylo directly, the soldiers grabbed Ren's arms and tore him from his mother and father. They forced him straight to the side of the Falcon where one officer cuffed him. "Kylo Ren, we are placing you under arrest on the orders of the Galactic Senate of the New Republic."

"Get your hands off my son," Leia instructed them forcefully. The general outstretched her hand and reached for their guns, but the officers dodged her.

"Kylo Ren is marked as a top ranked criminal to the New Republic. He is to be detained," the tall one said immediately. From the way the two soldiers were looking at Leia, they weren't going to be told what to do.

"The Republic's home planet was destroyed, so I think his bounty can be nulled. I've waited seven damn years to see my son. I'm ordering you to stand down," Leia was almost hissing at them now. Rey liked how fiesty the general was being – she was fighting for Ben as if her life depended on it.

The two Resistance guards held their ground, refusing to even budge as Kylo was tightly clasped in their hands.

"He helped us blow up Starkiller Base, by bringing down the shields. Doesn't that mean something," Rey shouted her question at the two officers.

"That's not for us to decide, that's for the Galactic Senate to decide," the one in the gray uniform replied.

How could they arrest Ben? He'd been so critical in making sure that the base on D'Qar was safe, and now they were tossing the very idea that Kylo Ren could be a hero into the mud. Rey was about to step in and stop them, but that's when she heard Ben's words resonate in her mind. _Rey, stay back. If I cooperate this will only have a better outcome, I hope._

The scavenger bit her lip. _Ben I won't let them take you away, not after everything you did to help us blow up Starkiller Base._

Finally the young Solo spoke, before Rey could even move another muscle. "Mother, I'll go willingly. We will see each other again soon, I promise." As the guards pushed him along, Kylo looked directly into Rey's eyes. She couldn't see his face behind that ebony helmet – she wanted nothing more than to see his face now.

And just like that, Rey watched Ben Solo be dragged away. Her eyes were wide with fear – how could this have happened? How could the Resistance not see the good he had done? Had she made a mistake in bringing Kylo Ren home to his family? _Could the Resistance prove to be as volatile as the First Order?_ Rey hoped not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hoped that the chapter didn't seem mediocre, but next chapter will be much more intense, with some real reunions and an interrogation. 
> 
> I just wanted to give a special thanks to Pandora_Spocks who was kind enough to review and give me your feelings and thoughts of the story.
> 
> Please let me know what you guys thought, I hope the chapter didn't disappoint. Again, thank you so much for reading and I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! :)


	26. Role Reversal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Kylo Ren abducted Rey on Takodana, he had solely been seeking the map to Luke Skywalker from her. But once he felt Rey's connection to the Force, and learned of her ability to quell the war between dark and light within him – he knew there would be no letting her go so easily. Hopefully, she can see more than a monster in him. Slow Burn Reylo

Ben felt the darkness of his cell pulling at his skin, hugging him – the blackness fully encompassing, almost embracing him like an old friend. He had been trying so hard to stay away from the darkness, but it seemed the Resistance had welcomed him to it. If he had not been accustomed to being alone and surrounded by the feeling of emptiness and it might have started to burden him at this point. Ben knew it would take a lot more than sitting in the dark to unnerve him, he once sound enemies surely had to know that. He had been the ruthless commander of the First Order, leader to the Knights of Ren and the slayer of the Light. If they thought a little bit of darkness was going to bother him, they were dead wrong.

Even through their false kindness, the Resistance was trying to strip him of everything that had made him intimidating. They had even taken away his robes, his unique saber and the metal mask that had branded him the monster of their nightmares. Instead they had fitted him in some bright orange jumpsuit, like he was just any, normal prisoner. Even now his old enemy was trying their best to be covert in their intentions, but Ben knew exactly what they were doing to him; they were removing the comfort of sight from him – a human's most trusted sense. They were trying to deprive him of as many sensory feeling as they could. Sound, touch, vision, smell and taste – they were going to attempt to try and slowly drive him mad.

The only sound in the whole room was his cuffs clinking together, and that was the only sound he'd heard in the long string of hours that he'd been here. The walls were smooth as stone and they felt lukewarm, nothing impressive. The floor beneath his feet didn't feel comfortable and from what he'd noticed the cramped cell was vastly empty.

The First Order was the first to cultivate this technique, making people crave any form of sensory comfort. They had discovered this could even get the most unwilling to talk after a few months or days. If the First Order needed fast answers Kylo had often been called if the interrogators couldn't get a swift response. Back in his early days in the First Order he had been very elated when he was called to the dimly lit interrogation block. The thought of breaking people, pushing them to their limit, making them beg was something he'd found pleasure in. Even now he could feel the flickers of desire to inflict such pain on the people who were holding him captive.

Voluntarily, Ben took a deep breath and reminded himself he wasn't the same man – Kylo Ren had been happy to plague others with suffering, but Ben Solo was different. Even now as he was slowly trying to convince himself he wasn't the same person, that he'd changed, Captain Phasma's dying words still rang in his skull like undying bells.

 _Well, there is no changing a wicked person, and you were the most wicked of us all. No matter how hard you try to change for these Resistance traitors, you'll always be a monster._ Those damn words were haunting him like a phantom. He was determined to prove Phasma wrong, that he could change, that he would change. It was going to be difficult to stop the way he used to think, to stop himself from lashing out, but it was going to happen. He had to change for the sake of his family, for the sake of Rey.

He could already feel his desire to see his family and Rey gushing into his mind. Being on D'Qar for a total of fives minutes before he'd been apprehended hadn't been Ben's idea of a joyful reunion. It had been awkward being reunited with his family, but none the less he had wanted to hug his mother again and talk to her, as well as rejoice in one of Rey's tight embrace.

It hadn't even been more than a day and already the former Dark Lord found himself missing his scavenger. Back on Starkiller Base when they had been fending off the wave of Stormtroopers Ben had been surprised to see Rey have a lightsaber in her hand and more so, he was shocked to see her fighting along side him. All that training he'd invested in her hadn't been for naught – she had been agile, protective and very receptive in her first fight. Watching her being so domineering had filled him with pride as her instructor.

It was odd to think he'd known Rey for over a month now; she had changed him dramatically, made him see how unnecessarily cruel he had become. Ben owed Rey so much, he was certain if he'd stayed with the First Order he would be currently be trying to duel Rey for the Supreme Leader's single opening for a Dark Lord apprentice. The thought of striking her down now made his fists clench. Rey had saved him in every way and being away from her now was driving him insane to say the least.

Even as he sat here locked up, he missed Rey. Her salty, sultry smell, the feeling of her silky skin under his fingertips, the shudders of pleasure that rocked his body when her lips were on his own. He missed her determined brown eyes, her thin lips, sun-kissed skin and her damn near perfect form. Those few nights of passion they had spent together were locked in his memory like permanent glue.

Kylo's memory was focused greatly on their last night together, her straddling his hips as Rey leaned in shyly, plump lips parted slightly as she pressed them to his, deepening the kiss almost immediately as her hands moved to tug at the hem of his night shirt impatiently. In moments, the clothing between them both had been peeled away, revealing her beautiful body to him and even the vivid memory of her naked form was enough to make his heart beat faster and his blood rush to an area below his waist. Rey had been on top of him, kissing him hungrily as her hand came to encircle a very stiff part of his anatomy, squeezing it teasingly before pumping up and down his length. She alternated long smooth strokes with rubbing her fingers over the head, lubricating him with the beads of moisture leaking from the tip.

The memory was causing heat to run through every part of his body now. Back in his bed when she had finally abandoned him with her hand and instead moved to glide up and down his lower abdomen, she had been quite explicit with what tension she had been trying to create, and every curve of Rey's body was etched in his mind.

And by the Maker, Rey was gorgeous. She was definitely the most beautiful woman he'd ever connected with on a physical and spiritual level.

Her tan skin was so smooth, stretched taunt over hard muscle but soft in all the right places, and when she steadied herself with her palms on his chest and lowered herself onto him, his cock was at full attention as he felt himself entering her.

When she began to move atop him, he had been purely in heaven, so lost in the feelings of their bodies working together to achieve this divine level of pleasure. Her lips had been brushing against his and he could feel her hot breath billowing into his mouth every time she moved. The feeling of her tighten around his hard cock was becoming a reality almost as he sat in the dark alone.

Soft sounds of pleasure had escaped her lips as his breathing escalated with her own. Ben had always found the sight of a woman's face contorted in pleasure to be almost as satisfying as his own release. Ben watched Rey's face in pure ecstasy, and Ben felt his stomach tighten as Rey's intimate moans were gently released in the throes of passion. The sounds she had made were stoking a blazing fire within him. She had continued riding him to completion, her firm muscles working as she bounced up and down, breaths coming in erratic pants and moans until Rey finally threw her head back and cried out a moment before he exploded within her and filled her with his seed.

Even now as he sat alone he wished he could relive it, he loved Rey and wanted her so badly. The fires of desire were burning within but he needed to quell it. Ben shook the memories from his mind, what the hell was he thinking about this now? He needed to start plotting a way to deal with his interrogators, for he knew they would be appearing soon. And the worse part was he'd gone and giving himself a raging erection, which he was certain wouldn't be enough to scare his interrogator away. They would probably just note that Kylo Ren was a dirty pervert who liked to give himself boners upon being captured by the enemy.

To distract himself he started to formulate a plan. As being one of the primary interrogators in the First Order Ben had some insight on what would happen – and it was going to be nothing short of grueling. He was certain they wouldn't torture him, the Resistance generally didn't play that dirty if their subject was cooperative. Ben had internally agreed to tell them portions of information in exchange for his freedom.

He knew the Resistance would be looking for a way to inflict another crippling blow to the First Order, and Ben could be the one who who could give it to them, if they complayed to his wishes. And his only wish was to be free so he could help Rey complete her mission to find Luke.

The sound of hushed voices outside his cell caused Ben to perk up. There was someone who was hovering outside his cell. Even with the silence bearing down on him, there was no way he could make out what was being said, but he tried his best.

Kylo's eyes had adjusted to the darkness, so when the door opened and light stabbed him in his retinas he found himself recoiling in pain. He quickly shielded his eyes but the silhouette of his capture was now starting to register in his brain as his eyes readjusted.

The lights within his cell flickered on and once again Ben found himself fighting down an angry hiss as the light threatened to obliterate his vision entirely.

"Kylo Ren, a man I never thought I would have the pleasure to speak with," an unfamiliar voice stated with surprise. "I figured you would always evade us, but I'm sure you can understand my shock when I heard you came here willingly."

As Ben's eyes finally began to coexist with the light again he was surprised to see who was before him. It was a short man with wild and crazy gray hair that was frizzing out in every direction. This man had to be the living embodiment of a mad scientist of some sort, especially the way his eyes held some unstable gleam to them. His arms were tucked behind his back in a regal stance – it was apparent the guy was oozing with confidence. Ben's eyes fluttered to the man's badge and instantly recognized the insignia that was pinned on his chest – he was a major.

"You don't recognize me do you? Hmm, what a shame, I met you when you were simply a kid, Kylo. You were innocent then, it's hard to look at you and see that same, quiet and brilliant boy now."

The Jedi raised his head to look directly into the man's eyes, there was nothing he even remotely recognized about this man. But he could see the confidence in this officer's aging blue irises. Which if this officer was to be interrogating the infamous Kylo Ren, he would need all the strength he could muster. Ben didn't like feeling inferior to this withering being, it made him feel like he was losing control. If acting arrogant was this major's idea of coaxing some answers out of him, the officer was mistaken. So Ben decided to take control of the interrogation.

"Before we go any further I want reassurance for what my information is worth. I'll tell you what you need to know, but I want certain things to be finalized," Ben sounded demanding. He had hoped to not come off as a condescending ass, but it seemed inevitable now.

"You think you are running this interrogation, do you?" The unfamiliar major said in a biting tone.

"Of course I am. I have priceless information, information that would aid the Resistance beyond your belief. You could look very good if you got me to talk, you might even get a promotion for breaking the _infamous Kylo Ren_. You know this, and if I refuse to talk, well the only ones missing out will be the New Republic. But if you get the Resistance's contractual word that they won't trade me back to the First Order for Resistance hostages, or that I won't be executed, things could look very good for you."

Cold, steely eyes dug into his flesh, this officer was no pushover. He was analyzing the situation, for this major knew he was losing control of the situation. Ben had trapped him into a corner, and now the old man had no choice but comply. "You want it contractually, my word isn't enough for you, kid?"

A smirk played in Ben's face, he had expected this type of question, but as an interrogator this major should have known why. "When I was the head interrogator in the First Order I would verbally promise prisoners all kinds of things in exchange for information, and hardly would I ever follow up on my promises. I wouldn't spare their friends, families, fellow townspeople if they got in my way. But a contract though, now that can't be broken, not without the Resistance looking very untrustworthy."

The older man smiled a little. "You drive a hard bargain, kid. But I guess I shouldn't have expected less from the First Order's top interrogator." The man strikes his scuffs bead as if lost in contemplation. Ben knew the officer had already chosen the path of least resistance.

"Okay, I'll get a contract written up for you." He was about to leave but he stopped in the doorway and turned his just enough for Ben to see the left side of his scruff face. "And kid, General Organa is here to see you."

His mother pushed her way passed the major as he left. Today had been the first time he'd seen his mother in a long time. Like his father her hair had turned a dull tint of gray and she had even shrunk a few inches. Her skin had started to wrinkle; his mother's smiled had seemed more tight than what he remembered. But her eyes still held the glimmer of a loving mother and for that Ben was grateful as she pulled him into her arms.

"Ben," she murmured into his arms, as if that was all she could bear to say. The former Dark Lord felt his mother's heavy breaths in his arms as she clung to him. His heart skipped a beat when his skin became acutely aware of a distinct wetness against his chest. To his shock, he realized his mother was crying into his chest. They were silent tears, but tears none the less.

"My many years of prayers to the Maker have finally come true, you've come home," he heard her say; Leia's voice was raspy. Ben felt as if his heart was being yanked out of his chest and being smothered. Now he was coming face to face with the suffering his absence had inflicted on his mother. He had been selfish and very naive to think his actions would only affect himself.

His mother's tears were enough prove that joining the Dark Side had shaken his mother's faith in him. He'd hurt her in too many ways, killing her friends, coworkers, co-inspirers – Ben was surprised she didn't despise him beyond belief. He could only imagine what it must have been like when she read mission reports involving his destructive actions – it must have been torture of the worst sorts.

Ben wanted to squeeze his mother a little tighter, but his cuffs forced his body to remain ridged. "I wish I could stay, but Grandfather instructed me to bring Rey to Luke, so all three of us could be strong enough to beat Snoke."

Leia looked up at him, her brown eyes wide. "What? You've been conversing with Darth Vader?"

"No, I've been speaking with Anakin Skywalker," he corrected her. "The Jedi Knight that was the hope of the Republic – the Chosen One," he said with a flicker of a smile. "Rey is the Chosen One, and it is my destiny to make sure she destroys Snoke."

His mother untangle herself from his embrace to look him in the eyes. "You are serious about having your sights set on Snoke? I talked to the girl myself, but she's the Chosen One?" It seemed his mother was struggling to absorb all this new information all at once.

"Yes," he confirmed. "Snoke doesn't hold any influence over me anymore. Rey is the only person who hold influence on me now," he admitted sheepishly. He must sound silly, but he wanted to repair any relationship with his mother he needed to be honest with her.

There was a knowing smirk plastered on his mother's face, but she didn't seem bold enough to pursue the topic of Rey. "If you kill Snoke that would be cutting the head off the whole First Order," she said; it sounded as if she was talking more to herself than to him.

"All you have to do is make sure it doesn't sprout another. Hopefully with the information I can provide it will help you complete that goal," Ben told her with hope fluttering in his voice. Hesitantly, he looked at his mother. "Will I ever be allowed to leave D'Qar?"

"You just let us have the information and I'm sure I can negotiate for you to have a temporary lift on your record, enough for you to work on finding Luke and Snoke," she said confidently. "I won't let them keep you locked up if you really have intentions of helping us."

Ben could see bright enthusiasm brimming in General Organa's eyes. He couldn't even remember his mother ever being so happy in his presence – she was almost radiating joy the way Rey did. He couldn't help it, it was as if he felt something was tugging his lips upward, even his mother's smiles were contagious.

* * *

It had been a long day, but Ben had finally spilled every detail of the First Order. Their trade routes, their suppliers, who their spies were in the Resistance, where their most valuable bases were located, who most of their founding financial funders were, and even where their most prized ship, the Finalizer, was probably located. He had spared no detail – it had taken him forever to recite everything worth noting. Even now his nerves were fraying from the amount of questions he had laid to rest for them.

In return he'd been granted a temporary release to continue working as a spy under Rey Kenobi – the newly appointed Jedi agent who worked solely for General Organa. Of course his interrogator and the other present officers had reminded Ben that there would be a trial after he had completed his mission of defeating Snoke.

Ben was glad to finally be free of that dark cell, and now his next goal was to find Rey so they could work on a plan to finding Master Luke. According to his mother, they now had all three pieces of the map, which boggled Ben's mind. He'd heard the Resistance didn't have any other pieces of the map except for the piece the droid, BB-8, currently had. It didn't really matter how they got the other pieces, rather that it showed them where Luke was.

Finding Luke was what was currently gnawing away at the former Dark Lord's confidence. He wasn't certain to how his uncle would react to seeing him, even if he wasn't dressed in his old Kylo Ren uniform. Though Anakin had assured him Luke was working hard to find forgiveness in his heart, Ben knew things were bound to be icy between them. Even so, his mission to help Rey find the old Jedi Master was paramount and Ben couldn't let fear cloud his sense of duty.

He was ready for this mission; he'd been fitted in a new brown uniform of soft cloth that was wove over his chest. Thick black leather went over soft brown material, giving him a dark charm almost. He'd been awarded brown robes to match with black leather boots and Ben was again feeling like a true Jedi. Thsee robes were similar to the ones he'd been forced to wear at Luke's Academy, but this time around wearing them felt right, proper, rather than a nuisance.

"You look good in those robes. Those were the type your grandfather wore," his mother commented with a charming smile on her face. "You look like a real Jedi Knight."

Even his father was present now, he had waited until after the interrogation to join them. From the looks of it Han still hadn't changed clothes from their last mission, he was still outfitted in his old smugglers gear. His father was giving him that rugged smirk like he alway did; the type that always made Ben return the favor – he quickly flashed his father his own sideways smirk.

"Your mom's right, those robes fit you, kid," his father agreed.

"I'm right? I didn't think I'd ever hear you say those words," Leia replied mirthfully as she crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Now go find Rey, she's been in the recovery wing since she basically arrived."

Ben nodded. "Thanks, I'll let you know what we're doing as soon as me and Rey formulate a plan." His parents both smiled at him as they relinquished their invisible hold on him.

Now that he was on release the first thing on his list was to find Rey – from what his parents has said it sound like she'd been spending an abundant amount of time with her healing soldier friend, Finn. For many reasons that didn't sit well with Ben, that damn soldier was smitten with her, but he pushed aside his own jealousy to focus on the mission at hand. General Organa had told him she would be in the medical wing of the base so that's where the former Dark Lord found his feet carrying him.

It wasn't long until he reached what looked like the medical wing. Nurses and doctors were scattered about, bustling through the array of patients that were in need of attendance. The sound of heart monitors, chatter, and metal clanking as curtains and utensils were stirred about. The vast noise was starting to cause the reformed Jedi to get a migraine.

Eyes scanned the crowd for Rey, the Jedi was finding his search unsuccessful. He couldn't seemed to pick up on any particular brunettes that even remotely resembled Rey. But she was here, he could sense it. Instead Ben started to feel her out using the Force, and slowly Ben found himself being drawn to the far back left corner. Nimbly, he dodged his way through the crowd of frantic nurses until he finally made his way to where Rey was. There was a wall of curtain that was blocking his from her and he was about to move it when he stopped.

Ben heard heated mumbling from behind the curtain and for a few intense seconds the Jedi froze. He strained his ears to hear what was being said from behind the confines of the thin cloth. It was silent in there now, which only piqued his curiosity further. If those two were saying anything it was lost to him, unfortunately there was too much background noise to even make out another word, so Ben pushed back the material that was separating them.

He was about to announce his arrival with a witty remark, but his eyes widened in shock at what was transpiring before him. That grubby former Stormtrooper that Rey called a friend was leaning across his cot and kissing Rey right in the lips, and from the looks of it – Rey was allowing him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I hope you enjoyed the chapter for it looks like there will be some trouble in paradise, but I really wanted to have the next part from Rey's perspective.
> 
> I just wanted to give a special thanks to Pandora_Spocks who was kind enough to comment, seriously your cmment completely made my day! Thank you for giving me your feelings and thoughts of the story, and I'm glad you are enjoying it so far.
> 
> Please, please let me know what you thought of the chapter, I really hope it was what you guys had been waiting for. Again, thank you for taking the time to read, I hope you have a really amazing weekend! :)


	27. Misunderstandings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Kylo Ren abducted Rey on Takodana, he had solely been seeking the map to Luke Skywalker from her. But once he felt Rey's connection to the Force, and learned of her ability to quell the war between dark and light within him – he knew there would be no letting her go so easily. Hopefully, she can see more than a monster in him.

For several hours Rey had been glued to the side of her friend's bed as he'd been locked in critical condition since their arrival on D'Qar. The nurses had worked tirelessly to make sure Finn had a sufficient amount of blood and that his vitals were as they should be. Rey on the other hand had been trapped in a world of powerless torment as she was unable to do anything to help the situation.

It had only been by the grace of the Marker that her friend's condition had stabilized and that his wounded liver was healing miraculously. She'd been by Finn's side for a total of six hours already, but she was really yearning to visit Ben. Leia and Han had both assured her that he would be there for some time. The interrogators were the only ones who would be indulging him with any type of conversation for a while. Still guilt was consuming her, she had been the one who had convinced Ben he should go to the Resistance. She'd been foolish in thinking they would accept Ben and maybe they would be open about taking him back. Her naive belief had cost Ben his freedom and now she couldn't help but blame herself.

Instead of spending every fiber of her being fighting for Ben's freedom; she was forced to remain by Finn's side, watching over him. Hands clenching the sheets of his bed in anger, Rey could only feel hateful shame washing over herself. This situation on both of her best friends' behalf was her fault; they were both in undesirable circumstances, she should have been protecting them both. She should have been able to protect Finn, but her lacking attention had cost him a shot to the liver. She was an exceptional Jedi according to Ben and still she was powerless to help her friend as he laid there in agony. Rey couldn't stop the feeling of weakness that was overriding every accomplishment they had achieved; blowing up Starkiller Base and bringing Kylo Ren back to the Light Side had been no easy feat, but while Ben was locked away and Finn was on the brink of death Rey could not rejoice.

She sat there, her eyes transfixed on her friend, desperate to see any signs of improvement. Unfortunately, she knew there would be no way she could stay any longer than a few day and see his full recovery. Her mission would take her far away from here, and now that R2-D2 had awaken from his eternal slumber with the second part of the map, her and Ben could hopefully find Luke. As things were now, Ben coming along with her seemed to be a fleeting idea.

"Rey," the scavenger spun around to see the source where her name had originated from. To her surprise General Organa was standing behind her in an olive colored getup. Her hair had been delicately braided, and even when she was wearing a workman's uniform the general's posture and all around aura screamed elegance.

"May I take a seat next to you?" General Organa asked, which Rey returned with a quick nod of approval.

The rhythmic breathing of the former princess was something Rey had become more aware of as the general took a seat next to her. The old woman's eyes grazed over Finn, as if she was observing the condition her friend was in. "I'm sorry about Finn." There was a lengthy pause before the general spoke again.

"You know when you were in the hands of the First Order, your friend here was very adamant about saving you. Almost everyday he was trying to sneak out to rescue you," the princess said with a twinge of amusement in her voice. "I had to start having Poe trailing him."

Rey let a false smile rise on her face before it fell. "I should have been there for him. I'm a Jedi, I should have protected him," she murmured softly allowing her own shame to consume her.

"It's sad, that even with power you can't save the ones you love. I was the General of the Resistance but I couldn't even protect my son from the Dark Side," Leia replied in an honest confession. "I tried so hard to keep him from turning out like Vader. Even with the limited time I had, I tried to make Ben happy and make him the focus of my attention. But when I agreed to send him to Luke's Academy – all I did was push him closer to the Dark Side. It was my horrific parenting, my lack of foresight and the distance between us that led Ben toward the Dark Side."

Rey looked over at the general in unadulterated shock. Was that what the general had thought all this time? That Ben went to the Dark Side because of her bad parenting? It might have been true that Ben had been suffering and seeking power and companionship as Snoke's apprentice, the type of companionship that a mother's attention might have halted. But Snoke had made Ben his target, and even if the princess and smuggler had been in the picture, there was the chance that for all their caring – it might still have been useless to stop the Supreme Leader from finding a way to sink his claws into the young, and Force-sensitive child named Ben Solo.

Now Rey had nothing but admiration for Leia, carrying such a heavy burden through the years must have been hard. It was obvious it had been weighing on the princess for a long time.

"I know he came back because of you. I have pleaded with him many times using the Force, but he never made any move of stopping his destructive quest to kill Luke. I could feel there was still good in him, and I'm glad you coaxed it out of him. For that I will always be in your debt," the general's voice was sad and solemn. It pained Rey to hear those last few words exit the older woman's mouth.

Rey had done what any normal person should have done when they saw someone suffering – she'd tried her best to heal him. It had come naturally, she'd seen the Light Side in Ben too, shining like a distress beacon. It had been through her own sheer will that she had been determined to be there and rescue him. She couldn't stand by and let him drown in the darkness.

Finally after some thought the young Jedi found the words she had been searching for. "You don't owe me anything, I just couldn't stand by and let him suffer. I'm glad that my help came to some fruition."

There was again a silence that had settled like delicate snow between them. Rey was too nervous and frazzled to say anything. She couldn't seem to get Ben out of her mind as tried to formulate something to say.

"So, you love him," the princess inquired, her voice holding a lot more curiosity and energy than before.

Rey found herself blushing wildly at the question, damning her own body for betraying the answer earlier than she had wanted to. "I do and I'm pretty sure he feels the same," her mind drifted back to when Ben had captured her in his arms and told her he loved her. The memory lingering was a very happy one, one of the few happy ones she had, and Rey couldn't stop a smile from forming on her lips.

It had before their departure to find the shield control center on Starkiller Base. Things had changed, and even now she missed Ben and they had only been apart for a few hours. After spending so much time together, she realized she'd taken his close proximity for granted. Since seeing him dragged away, there'd been a sharp pulsing in her chest. It had taken a while to recollect, but Rey knew she'd felt this clawing ache in her heart before. It was the type of ache she had grown so fond of on Jakku – the ache of loneliness. In just a period of a few hours, Rey was already being haunted by the fear that it might be a while until she saw Ben again. The very thought caused the sharp pain to resonate deeper through her chest – Rey tried her best to ignore it, but it seemed to be unescapable.

"Don't let people discourage you from being with Ben," the general's voice sliced through Rey's thoughts. "When I met Han, people made it clear they disapproved of me being with a smuggler. I was still recognized by few as a princess and they thought it was wastefully if I married below my station. Politicians, fellow soldiers and friends in the Rebellion made it clear that we shouldn't be together, but I was too stubborn to let them dictate who I loved. Just keep that in mind when you see looks of disapproval, be strong and remember that no matter what you do, you won't be able to make everyone happy, so just be confident with your decisions." With that said, the general got up and gave Rey a quick kiss on the head before she left her.

"I'm going to see Ben, hopeful I can get him freed. Being a General has some perks," she announced to Rey as the Jedi watched the curtain quivered behind Leia. That was the last Rey saw of the wise woman that she very much respected. Her heart was now feeling even heavier as she wasn't sure when she would see Ben again. Also the thought of people disapproving of her relationship with the fellow Jedi disheartened her even further. She wasn't certain how Finn would feel about her relationship with Ben when she told him, but Rey knew she would have to unveil the truth to him eventually.

She hoped he would be understanding, would wholeheartedly accept her choice, but Rey couldn't be certain. The former First Order soldier seemed like the type to hold a grudge and Rey knew he wasn't fond of Ben at all. Still her more optimistic side was holding out hope that maybe her friend would see how happy she was and accept it.

Involuntarily, Rey leaned her head on the soft sheets of Finn's bed. Her eyes were beginning to ache after being awake for over twenty four hours without a wink of sleep.

The sound of the heart monitors that were scatter throughout the medical wing monotonously droned on. The noise of beeping was starting to make her drowsy, like it was some lullaby that would carry her away to sleep. Rey tried to keep herself awake by pinching her own arm, but it was proving futile. She'd been here waiting for Finn to wake up, or move even, but it seemed her friend was still being resilient to waking up. Rey closed her eyes; she needed a rest after all the action she had endured on Starkiller Base. Reluctantly Rey allowed sleep to overtake her and she barreled into an unconscious state.

* * *

The stirring of a hand was what caused Rey to jolt awake, as fingers intertwined with her hair. She sat upright her eyes still becoming accustomed to the light blazing around her. There was no way to know how long she had slept, but it must have been fairly long for the young Jedi felt refreshed. Quickly, she rubbed the sleep from her eyes and to her surprise she was met with the gaze of Finn. Overwhelming joy bubbled up inside her, as her friend was sitting up and looking directly at her – a light smile curled upon his lips.

"Rey," he murmured so softly she thought she had almost imagined it.

"Finn," she replied with undeniable happiness. "You're finally awake. I was so afraid for you. I should have protected you, I…" Rey found herself trailing off.

Even in his weakened state she heard her friend release a chuckle. "Now you know how I felt every day you were in the custody of the First Order. I hoped everyday you were still in one piece."

Rey laughed, but it sounded hollow and humorless. "Well I'm here in one piece still. I don't think I was ever in too much danger," she paused. Her eyes grazed over Finn's face as she forced a tiny smile to play upon her lips. It was nice to see her friend had the energy to speak and move; she had feared that his wounds would leave him incapacitated for a long time.

"Will you tell me what happened while you were in the custody of the First Order?" He said in a raspy voice. "How did you convince Kylo Ren to help you escape?"

"It's a long story, are you sure you want to hear it?" She asked, but the young Jedi was very certain she already knew what the answer would be.

"I'm not going anywhere soon, of course I want to hear it all," he sounded surprisingly eager for someone who had just been shot.

Even as she prepared to tell her friend the truth, Rey felt as if a brick was caught in her throat and she struggled to find her voice. Taking a deep breath, Rey forced herself to choke back her own anxiety. She started to tell her friend everything from the beginning: the interrogation and how she had discovered she was Force-sensitive, how she had agreed to be trained by Kylo in exchange for the map, how things had slowly grown into a small friendship during their training sessions. She told him about Ren's refusal to allow Hux to hurt her, explaining how far the Dark Lord had gone to keep her safe. And finally she reached Snoke's ultimatum, either Ben could have handed her over to his master or they could escape together. She left out the majority of any romantic details, but she finally confessed to Finn that Ben loved her and she was indeed in love with him.

After relaying every detail of importance Rey allowed Finn to soak in the new information she had just showered him with. It was undeniable, the former Stormtrooper had a dumbstruck expression on his face as his jaw was hanging open. His eyes were a mixture of emotion, Rey couldn't really read which ones they were, for they seemed to be changing frequently.

What seemed like an hour passed, but Rey was almost certain it had only been a few minutes maximum. Tension hung in the air, it was as thick as a dense fog and it definitely was weighing on them.

Finally her friend seemed to find his vocal cords as he voiced his opinion. "Rey, you can't be serious about loving that man?" The frostiness in his words was apparent and internally Rey flinched at her friend's tone.

"I'm serious," she replied, keeping her voice even.

"Rey, he kidnapped you. I was screaming as I watched him whisk you away. I thought he was going to do what he did to Poe. Kylo Ren tortured Poe senseless," even in his subpar state Rey could hear the passion in Finn's declaration. "Rey you don't know the things he's done. I watched that man kill people in cold-blood! Other soldiers told me he wiped whole cities, towns, villages off the maps. The guy is nothing short of a monster."

"Finn, he's changed. You need to give him a chance to show you. Was blowing up Starkiller Base and walking into the enemy's hands not even an indication to you he's changed?" Rey cried out, highly irritated by her friend's close-minded attitude.

"He hurt you though," Finn protested angrily. "How can you forgive that?"

"He's changed. He would never do that now. That's why he came here, to spare me the pain of us being separated," she defended her lover with zeal. How could Finn be so blind to how Ben had changed? It was as if he was in open deniable that someone, especially Ben was capable of change. Rey had seen how Kylo Ren had changed, she'd peeled away the evil layer by layer until she had found a boy who had been manipulated and used. She had also seen how Finn had changed – he was no longer displayed the cowardice he once did.

"Rey you deserve someone better than him. I love you and I would do anything for you. I ran straight back to the First Order to save you. Does that not prove my devotion to you?"

Rey looked at the former Stormtrooper with shock. She never would have believed it if she hadn't heard Finn say it himself. What she had always considered a friendly bond, a concern that had arose from them fighting to survive together, it was really more to him. Part of her was denying it, why would he have left her back on Takodana standing by herself in that cantina if he had truly loved her?

If Finn had maybe said something earlier, then she might have held on to that during her captivity in the First Order. Things between her and Ben might never have blossomed, but she knew there was an undeniable chemistry, a connection that was apparent to them both. Even with the knowledge of Finn's feelings, she doubted she would have been able to ignore Ben's magnetic quality. It was deeper than sexual lust and the Force. It was this understanding of pain that they also shared, they both knew the sting of loneliness. They both also shared a passion of flying – as well they both enjoyed building things. Before they had left Starkiller Base, they both had started to design and collect parts for her own lightsaber.

Even now, she felt sorrow shake Rey to her very core, for she was in love with Ben. It was too late for her to change her feelings and she didn't want to stop loving Ben always.

"I'm sorry, Finn. I can't change my feelings for Ben. It pains me to tell you this, but I love him," she forced out. Even as the words came out Rey blinked back heavy tears, it brought her no joy expelling the truth to Finn. She could almost sense how crushed he was, as if the Force was giving her glimpses of his suffering.

There was a tense silence that grappled to them as they both sat there unsure how to move forward. Eyes transfixed on the clinical floor of the hospital, Rey was lost in her own mind. She was recollecting every event that had tangled their fates and she was trying to figure out when his feelings had developed. Could it have been when Finn asked her if her need to return to Jakku was because she had a boyfriend waiting for her. Could that really have been it? Or could it have been in the beginning, on Jakku, when he'd taken her hand and dragged her safely away from TIE Fighter fire?

Amidst her own thoughts Rey had hardly noticed that Finn was starting to sit up and lean toward her. Before she could even react her friend was looking her in the eyes, analyzing her.

"I have to at least try and make you understand how I feel. Otherwise I'll never forgive myself." Without warning Finn leaned in and locked his lips with hers.

Paralyzed, Rey sat there unable to even move her limbs, it was as if she was under some spell. Her mouth was rigid and as Finn pressed his lips against hers she was unable to do anything. The kiss was passionless compared to the ones her and Ben shared, at least in her case they seemed loveless. As for the former Stormtrooper, she hoped he sensed her discomfort, as he tried his best to entice her into some romantic reciprocation. She felt her friend's tongue graze her bottom lip and that's when Rey felt herself shiver and reality came galloping back to her. Her hand rested on Finn's chest and as she was about to push him away and put distance between them. But Rey froze as she heard a familiar voice call out her name.

"Rey?" Ben muttered, hands pushing back the curtain. It was obvious to detected the sorrow, hurt, and pent up anger that was being channeled through his voice. His eyes betrayed even more emotional shock and pain, more than Rey had ever seen.

As fast as lightning, Rey pushed Finn away from her, but the damage had been done. "Ben," she exclaimed in surprise and horror, but as soon as the words left her lips Ben pulled the cloth back into place aggressively and left.

Rey turned to Finn in seething rage, but she couldn't stay for another second she needed to catch up with Ben. As swift as her legs would take her, the female Jedi sprinted after Ben as she cut gracefully through the crowd of doctors and nurses. Instantly, she turned down a thin hall off of the medical wing. Rey could see dark brown robes and smooth black hair darting away. Without even a thought, Rey charged after him and to her surprise she caught up with Ben.

"Ben, let me explain," she gasped.

The former Dark Lord swirled around to face her, his dark, scorching gaze met her hazel irises. She could see the roiling anger stirring beneath his forcibly calm visage and for a second she thought maybe this was a bad idea.

"Was I just some substitute for Finn?" He hissed out. "Did you ever really feel anything for me, or were you just thinking of him everytime you kissed me." That's when Rey stopped him by bringing her index finger to his lips.

"He kissed me, I did not kiss him back," she didn't see Ben's flaring unrest even remotely dissipate at her words, which worried her. "He was just distraught over the fact that I told him I'm in love with you," she concluded.

She removed her finger from Ben's lips and wait for him to speak but he said nothing – he just stared at her with a vile expression on his face. "I left the First Order, risked my damn life to come here with you. I was arrested, interrogated, questioned for hours so that the Resistance could have some precious information and the first thing I see you do is kiss another man. You were putting your hand on his chest, touching him." Rey felt her stomach twisting into a knot, as Ben seemed to be shoving all his valiant acts in her face just to punish her.

"How am I supposed to react?" He asked her, his voice straining. Rey reached her hand out in an attempt to give him a hug, but she retracted the limb the moment Ben's heated gaze again reached her eyes.

"Ben, I'm sorry, I wish you wouldn't have seen that," Rey regretted those words the moment they left her mouth. Alluding that keeping the kiss a secret did nothing to improve Ben's mood.

"I'm going to look at the map, alone. Just meet me by the Falcon tomorrow at nine, and bring all your things. Right now, I just want to be left alone," he said; his voice as cold as ice.

Rey nodded in defeat as she watched Ben turn on his heels and march away. Things had been going so well between them and now, now they seemed on the brink of collapse. Rey watched as Ben's bark colored robes swayed as he stormed off. Even now she could still see the remnants of the powerful and feared Kylo Ren as his steps mirrored his superiority and condescension. As he passed, the Resistance soldiers and techs were terrified of him.

Rey let out a heavy sigh knowing that tomorrow would be hell if Ben was going to carry the same attitude.

* * *

Just as instructed Rey appeared in the airfield next to the Millennium Falcon at nine o'clock on the dot. She had packed her meager belongings the night before. Rey had acquired a new jacket and pants, that were wooly and hue of dark gray. She had lost her staff on Starkiller, so her only weapon now was Luke's saber, but she planned to return it to the Jedi Master upon meeting him – it seemed the respectful thing to do.

Last night she had also said goodbye to Finn and things had been gritty between them to say the least, but Rey would worry about repairing their friendship when she got back. Currently she had a mission to find Luke and now she was waiting eagerly for Ben Solo to show up. She wondered where their mission would be taking them. When BB-8 had given her the first glimpses of the map Rey had been mesmerized with images of an ocean and lush, green islands that sprouted from the sea. At first she had thought it was Takodana, but when they had arrived there she knew it was a different planet entirely that Luke was located at.

Impatiently, Ret felt time starting to tick away, and she was beginning to wonder if her partner was standing her up. After another ten minutes passed Rey contemplated going to look for Ben. That was until she saw a man in brown robes approaching her, with two other shorter people behind him, as well as a droid. It didn't take long for Rey to identify Han and Leia as they walked next to their son and R2-D2 was trailing them.

As they approached Ben turned around right before he was too close to the ship and gave them each a tight hug. She couldn't make out what they were saying, but it must have been some sort of goodbye and good luck speech. Rey gave them bright smiles and waved at them – both Han and Leia reciprocated as they prepared to leave. Ben left them behind and rounded on the ship.

"Good morning," Rey sounded nothing short of giddy as she spoke.

"Good morning," Ben said his expression remaining docile as he walked passed her – the dark haired man went straight into the Falcon with R2-D2 at his heels.

Rey repressed the pain that was grinding in her chest and pulled herself together. If Ben was going to be difficult that was his problem, but she was determined to wear down his anger, no matter how long it took. Knowing where Ben was, Rey walked straight for the cockpit. Sure enough the Jedi was preparing for take off, flipping switches and turning knobs as he went along.

"We're heading to Ahch-To, that's where Luke is hiding. I have his longitude and latitude coordinates, so it'll be easy," still Ben was refusing to make any type of eye contact, and his expression was still screaming indifference. R2-D2 started beeping outside the cockpit at the prospect of seeing his old master.

"Sounds good," the younger Jedi said, trying her best to fake her happiness. Rey didn't say anything else in response, instead she plunked down in the co-pilot seat next to him and started to assist with take off preparations.

It wasn't long until they were soaring out of D'Qar's atmosphere and straight into space. Rey kicked them into hyperdrive as soon as possible and she watched the stars turn into a streaks of white light as they bolted through the blackness of space. In awe, Rey stared as Ahch-To materialized before her very eyes. The planet was an orbiting ball of pure fake blue with patches of wispy white that curved and hugged the planet. As they descended into the planet, water started to spray all over the windshield of the Falcon causing Rey to clinch into the arms of her seat.

Ben drove the ship for another five minutes before they approached a specific rocky outcropping. Green clung to the patch of hobbled rocks and as they approached Rey realized that little rock houses were perched at the top of the island.

They landed without delay and instantly Rey grabbed her things so she escape the confines of the ship. She realized this was definitely the place from her vision as the aroma of the salty sea drifted to Rey's nostrils – never before had she smelled something so pleasant and refreshing. Ahch-To seemed to be a planet of a never ending ocean, which was unlike anything Rey had ever experienced on an exclusively desert planet.

The young Jedi's bones were almost aching to explore her new environment, but she noticed how languid Ben was packing up his things. Her partner's stalling was being more transparent by the minute. Rey closed her eyes momentarily as she called upon the Force. Rey's breath hitch in her throat as she could feel the presences of another much more powerful Jedi – her heart fluttered, for she knew Luke Skywalker was near.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm not going to lie, I'm not sure how I finished this chapter so quickly. But it's nice to have a chapter done early for a change and it was pretty long which surprises even me.
> 
> I just wanted to give a special thanks to Pandora_Spocks, hoshiakari and Shwtlee. You guys have given me amazing feedback so far and it is very appreciated. As for your concern Shwtlee, I hope this chapter clarifies that. :)
> 
> Please, please tell me what you thought of the chapter, I hope this chapter was better than the last few since there is a little bit of trouble stirring. Next chapter will be from Ben's perspective, which will involve them meeting Luke Skywalker finally! Thank you for taking the time to read! :)


	28. The Elsuive Jedi

Ben appraised the minuscule island before him as lush green and dark blue water assaulted his eyes. In all of his travels to different planets he had never seen so much water before. The island itself was very plentiful with rich grass and lichen which fit the temperate climate of Ahch-To all too well. As Ben's eyes drifted toward the top of the rocky cliffs, he realized it was going to take them almost all day to get to the top.

There was only one way up to the peak of this miniature mountain, and that required climbing crudely made stone steps. If Ben hadn't been paying attention he might have missed how these stone steps were weaving into the island and some were spiraling uncomfortably close to the edge of cliffs. The newly reformed Jedi sighed; he could feel the raw power of his uncle's presence and Ben was certain Luke was aware of their arrival too.

Ben shifted his gaze to Rey – the scavenger seemed painfully aware of how much he was dreading this, because her brown irises were filled with sympathy. Stubbornly Ben turned his head away from her refusing to look at his lover. After yesterday's events he was still having a hard time forgiving her. Even if she was being honest and hadn't kissed Finn purposefully, the imagine of them kissing was still craved into his memory. Jealously was flaring up inside himself – he didn't think he would be able to forget Rey kissing that… that hateful coward.

How could she allow Finn to kiss her – unless she had wanted Finn to? Rey had said she was in love with Ben back on Starkiller Base, but could she really have been just waiting for Finn and Kylo Ren been a decent substitute? Could she have been saying all those things to him for her survival, so she could leave Starkiller Base in one piece? Were all those intimate moments they shared just a fabrication?

He was starting to think he had an overactive imagination, because he knew Rey wasn't that malicious. Ben couldn't forget about Milcia, the woman who Hux had hired to seduce him. She'd known how to say all the right things – and he had sincerely thought that maybe he had found the right person – someone caring and so pure of heart. But he had been naive in thinking anyone could love him, it had taught him that love was a weakness. The only thing he had learned from that whole experience was how to turn his heart to stone and he became thoroughly convinced no one would ever want him, after all he had become the most feared man in the galaxy.

Once he'd interrogated Rey and started to train her, he realized she was different. She had been some nobody he'd abducted for questioning – but Rey had turned into  somebody. The scavenger possessed a heart as pure as gold; her intentions of good that were undoubted. She had been strong and very bold in her desire to turn him back into the man he once was, and that had been the first time in many years he'd enjoyed a person's company. He'd grown to care for her and it had quickly blossomed into pure and what he had thought would be unrequited desire. He was lucky that she had seen passed the monster he had been and he instead saw the man.

Of course he'd left his heart open to attack once again, and now he could feel the sting of Rey's kiss with Finn. He hadn't felt this aching pain in years, not since he'd guarded his heart from everyone. Now he was reminded that love was a weakness, yet it was too late – for he could not stop loving Rey, not ever. Even if she loved another, Ben was certain he would still love that adorable, bold, brown eyed girl.

The thought of another man touching her in any intimate way infuriated him, even now he wanted to punch something into oblivion. Ben knew he had to keep himself calm, so he worked on quelling the internal storm. If he was going to see Luke, Ben would need to keep a calm head. At any sign of his anger Luke would be put on the offensive, and Ben didn't want to provoke hostility, which meant he needed to remain cool and composed.

The Jedi sighed as he controlled his emotions, and against his better judgment Ben was the one to take the first stride toward the long pathway of stone steps. R2-D2 started beeping right away, assuring them he would watch over the ship while they were gone. Ben nodded his approval at the loyal blue and white droid.

He took the lead and started to ascend the steps with Rey directly behind him. Their conversation was pretty bland as they climbed. Rey had been trying really hard to talk with him, he was acutely aware she was trying to bring things back to normal, but Ben remained very placid. It wasn't long until he'd broken Rey's spirit for banter.

He was becoming very anxious to see Luke again and his mind was racing as he contemplated the right things to say. There was no way he could apologize for his actions, for his actions were so disgusting and unforgivable. If he was his uncle, seeing the murderer of every child he'd taught would drive him into such a blinding, murderous rampage. Fear was wrapping around Ben's heart and every once and while he could feel fear's grip constrict a little tighter in his chest.

Rey needed to be trained by Luke and it was vital that things went over smoothly. If he said the wrong thing maybe his presence would just agitated the whole situation. Ben felt the weight of the galaxy resting on his shoulders and it was almost making it harder for him to breath.

Ben's eyes darted to Rey who was peacefully following his every step. Her tawny pools were fixed on the ocean in pure astonishment. Since she had grown up on Jakku it was obvious that seeing water had never been a luxury for her. Ben kept his eyes focused and ahead as the continued along. And he was trying his best to keep any unsavory imagines of his uncle killing him out of his mind.

* * *

They had been walking for the better part of three hours, before Ben stopped and called for a quick break. Rey right away plopped down in a patch of flat, green grass and pulled out an energy bar. The older Jedi watched as the scavenger viciously tore at her food like a rabid animal. Even though Rey had been introduced to civilized eating, she still seemed to enjoy devouring her food like a savage – old habits die hard he guessed.

Ben pulled out his water bottle and focused on hydrating as cool water slid down his throat. Amidst his drinking Ben felt eyes boring into his skin, sure enough when he looked over he saw that Rey's gaze was lingering on him and it was refusing to leave.

"What is it," Ben asked in an agitated tone.

The scavenger was digging her fingernails straight into the grass right before she spoke. "Why are you so angry at me? I told you, Finn kissed me and I wasn't expecting it, he caught me off guard." Ben noted that Rey was trying her best to keep her voice even. "I'm in love with you, and you know that I love you. So why are you making things so difficult, why are you acting so distant?"

Ben sighed, maybe he was being unnecessarily cruel, and sadly it wouldn't be a first. He'd spent the last seven years practicing the art of distancing oneself and repressing any form of happiness.

"I'm being distant because I'm hurt and I'm struggling with it. It's been a long time since I allowed anyone into my heart, since I've felt any internal strife," he said with defeat.

He heard the rustling of grass and without warning Rey had her hands on both side of his face and was forcing him to look at her. The gentle caress of her hands was tender and he could almost feel himself pressing against her skin further, as if to close any further gap between them.

"Ben, I love you more than I've ever loved someone before. I didn't fully understand love until you showed me that putting the person you love first is what truly matters. You put me first when you confronted Hux, and you put me first when we left for the Resistance. Don't ignore me now because of something I couldn't control," the former Dark Lord could hear the unwavering truth in her words and sorrow. There was a layer of hurt glittering in her eyes that caused a tightness in Ben's chest.

It was guilt that coursed through him as he started to realize how he'd hurt Rey. He'd been avoiding feeling pain, but in his own selfishness he'd been inflicted unneeded suffering on Rey. He'd been selfish for years now, getting his way and hurting others in his path, but now he was determined to end that cycle.

His eyes drifted up to match her gaze and he made the most timid apologetic face he could muster. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been so cold."

With that said Rey leaned in to leave a soft kiss on his lips. Ben missed the taste of her lips and swiftly he captured her lips with his own. The feeling of her velvety tongue brushing against his lip caused shivers to roll across his skin. He met her tongue with his own as their tongues clashed and danced a familiar dance. He found one of his hands grappling onto her arm for support as they kissed.

Rey pulled away, her normally thin lips were swollen. The new Jedi was smiling at him with one of her genuine smiles that made his heart thunder like a drum. It was almost unnatural the effect Rey had on him. Her presence was intoxicating to him but most of all the smell of her salty and sweet skin and the way she touched him was always soft, sensual grazes of the skin.

She made him crazy with desire and if they weren't on a mission he might have tried to take her right here on the side of a cliff. He could see her own eroticism buried beneath a focused layer of forced restraint. He let out a heavy sigh as Rey's voice cleared away his semi-lecherous thoughts.

"We need to approach Luke as a united front, if he thinks we hate each other than things will only become more suspicious to him," Ben knew what she said was only too true.

He nodded in agreement and he quickly pulled himself to his feet. Instantly, he noticed a glisten of silver and his pupils darted to the culprit. On Rey's belt was saber and he realized that was the infamous saber he had been searching for – his grandfather's Jedi saber. Where had she gotten that lightsaber? The blade had been lost for many years, but rightfully he felt it was his. That was the last remaining belonging of his grandfather, since Darth Vader's helmet was lost to him because of the explosion on Starkiller Base. Part of him wasn't even sad the helmet was gone, he'd always look upon it as a relic to inspire him with evil, but that lightsaber- that lightsaber was the last remaining item that had belonged to Anakin Skywalker. The man that was prophesized to bring balance to the Force – it had belonged to the Chosen One.

Ben wanted to reach out and take the blade from her, but he could sense the Force energy that the saber was expelling and the lightsaber's allegiance belonged executively to Rey. There was no refuting the idea that the blade was calling to Rey and he was beginning to theorize why. Maybe it was a saber that could only be possessed by the Chosen One, the person who was the most powerful Jedi in the galaxy. Or it could be that Obi-Wan Kenobi had bested Anakin Skywalker in single combat long ago, it was common knowledge. So he wondered if that was why the blade was loyal to her, could it possibly sense her linage, he wondered.

He was snapped from his pondering as Rey grabbed hold of his hand, her fingers snugly planting themselves between his own digits. "We're in this together, there's no going back now," Rey said her voice was confident and relaxed.

She was immune to being nervous to meet Luke it seemed and for that he was glad; if she had been anxious it would have only amplified his own feelings of uncertainty.

After a while of sitting together watching the ocean waves crash against the cliff. A comfortable silence had settled between them now, as they clutched onto each other's hands for dear life. The sun was started to sink back behind the island as the light began to wane.

Finally Rey stood up and with her she pulled him to his feet. They looked at each other analyzing the other person with intense curiosity.

"You ready to go?" Rey asked him in her usual determined voice.

"You bet I am," Ben said as happily as he could muster.

* * *

The higher they ascended, the greater Ben's anxiety became. There were a few times in Ben's life when he had ever felt this afraid: One was his arrival to Luke's Jedi Academy as a boy, and another was he easy agreement to destroy Luke's Academy per Supreme Leader Snoke's request. Now the idea of seeing Luke again was crawling its way up to another moment in his life where fear was all he felt.

They had finally reached an ancient village that grew from the rock features. It was the first sign of any civilization they'd seen today. It seemed that they had reached the peak of the island and this little village stationed on top marked the first signs of humanity. A few glances around though made it obvious that this place had been abandoned long ago, not any remnants of a society existed.

There was a good possibility that Luke lived in these one of these huts, so both him and Rey agreed to search for any signs of the elusive Jedi. They combed through every stone hut with care, yet they turned up empty handed, not a single drop of evidence could support the theory that Luke lived here.

They both were acutely aware that Luke's presence was lingering near by, somewhere close. Rey decided they should just move through and continue on the fleeting stone path before them. She pulled them both through the village before she let her hand drop to her side. Ben noticed her eyes were fixed up atop the stairs, at Ben's angle it looked as if she was staring at the sun. There were a small handful of steps left, but Rey was focused on the top of said stairs.

"He's up there," she murmured. "I can feel it," he heard her reassure herself. Quickly, she turned to him, her gaze was steady and blithe. "Are you ready?"

He nodded his acceptance, there was no turning back now. Whatever his uncle's thoughts were regarding him it was too late to change. If Luke was going to try and kill him the moment their gazes locked, it would happen, Ben was unarmed and had no way to protect himself. If Luke was going to forgive him, it would happen, hopefully they could move forward to repair their relationship as family and as student and apprentice.

Without thought, he followed as Rey climbed the remaining steps. It was becoming apparent that someone was standing on top of the cliff, backed turned – their body cloaked in thick robes of dark gray. As they approached the man seemed to be aware of them, for he slowly turned around to face them head on.

Ben felt a lump building in his throat as Luke truly turned around and faced them – the Master Jedi's eyes were hooded, making his face unreadable as dark shadows cloaked it entirely. Even after all these years, his uncle was still waiting the same beige robes that he's worn at the academy, but something had changed about Luke. Even under the hood, Ben could see a scraggly, silver beard illuminated in the sun light. It seemed that the years of solitude had really turned his uncle into a hermit, before Luke had always been clean shaven and proper when training at the academy, but now it seemed that his uncle's propriety had fallen along the road side.

The young Solo's eyes drifted from his uncle's face to Luke's shoulders which were tight, as if he was preparing to be assaulted. Ben forced himself to relax so he wasn't perceived as a threat, but even if he was calm, Luke would still see him as a threat. He knew his uncle was staring at him – Luke's invisible gaze was burning virtual holes in him.

Did he think Ben was here to kill him? Was Luke planning on exacting his own form of revenge on him?

Ben's eyes shifted to Rey to gauge her reaction and it her was plain to see. The scavenger next to him was calm, but her eyes were filled with raw emotions – he could tell as her eyes had taken the form of glassy orbs of hazel. Rey took the saber from her belt and reached her hand outward, offering it to Luke, all the while trying to keep her face stoic.

The gesture must have moved Luke because it was then when Ben saw a wave of suppressed emotions flourish in the old Jedi's eyes. The Jedi Master was taking the lightsaber as a sign of peace. Luke finally raised his hands and pulled back the hood that shrouded his features. Ben couldn't take his eyes off Luke's robotic right hand. Long ago when Ben had been a young Jedi in training, it had been unfathomable how a father could disfigure his own son, but after spending a few years in the First Order, Kylo Ren had realized how far he would go to protect his power and rank. If it meant killing a few friends, he would do it, if it meant killing his father or mother, he would have done it eventually. If Rey hadn't intervened he would still be that twisted man that killed anyone to get what he wanted. The Dark Side had a funny way of diluting one's priorities.

"You've both finally arrived," Luke said in a steady voice. Along with his body, Master Luke's voice had aged considerably, it no longer carried the same strength in it. "Anakin told me you two would be descending upon Ahch-To soon."

His uncle's eyes shifted to Rey – she still had the lightsaber outstretched in her hand. "You're the Chosen One then, Rey Kenobi. I've waited all my life for you to appear," a faint smile started to tug on the Jedi Master's lips. "The lightsaber is all yours, dear girl. Keep it."

Rey seemed to be in utter shock because she didn't move even after Luke told her to keep the saber. She just stared at him for a long time, Luke and Rey's eyes were locked in a silent conversation unreadable to him. After a minute her paralysis passed and her hand finally lowered, where she placed the saber back on her belt.

Now Luke's eyes slanted toward Ben, it was odd to see Luke's gaze so neutral. It almost came off as forced for it lacked some genuine element and emotion. "Anakin told me about how you planned to save Rey," Luke said his voice was even. "I wasn't sure it could be true after all this time, you coming back to the Light Side seemed improbable, but I'm glad my cynicism was incorrect. It's good to have you back, Ben Solo."

There was a pregnant pause before Luke spoke again. "You are both here to defeat Snoke, am I correct?"

"Yes, Ben and I are here to receive training for you, Master Luke. Our collective goal is to kill Snoke and stop the First Order," Rey said it like a true, valiant Jedi. Ben nodded in agreement which was noted by Luke.

"I will take you two as my students, I will assess your skills tomorrow, for now, you two should get settled in. You will be staying in the stone village down below, and you will be up by sunrise for training," he commanded.

"Okay, Master Luke," Rey said complacently. She started to make her way down the steps and Ben was content to follow her down, but a voice stopped him in his tracks.

"Ben, I would like to speak with you in private in about an hour. I'm staying in a hut at the very top of the peak," Luke pointed at a dirt path that lead behind a rocky cliff, it must have been some small path carved along the rocks.

Ben couldn't help but gulp and nod, as Rey gave him a remorseful look.

* * *

Silence filled the hut in such an eerie manner, the air around them was languorously to say the least. Luke was prepare some type of meal while Ben looked on. The hut was small and made of stone and a small fire was stoked in the middle of the house. The heat radiated against Ben's skin, but all he could do was dig his knuckles into the dirt floor as he tried to find some release for his anxiety. His uncle must have been getting some sick satisfaction from him being so perturbed.

Sweat was dripping down the young Jedi's forehead as Luke continued to cook and act like he had never summoned Ben. The silence between them was becoming absolutely unbearable and Ben wasn't sure if he was patient enough to let the dreadful silence continue. Was Luke expecting an apology from him? Ben wanted to give one, but there was no perfectly placed words that could fix what he had done. Nothing in the world could bring back the students he had killed.

There was nothing Ben could do to fix Luke Skywalker's hope for the new Jedi Order of the Galaxy. He'd broken Luke's dream of restoring the Jedi Order the moment Ben started slaughtering his fellow students in cold-blood. There were no words that could repair his mistake. There were no words that could bring the dead back to life. There were no words that could fix desecrated dreams.

Ben looked down at the earthy floor beneath him in defeat. He wished everyday, that he could go back – back to when he was just a child learn how to swing a saber. He would tell that naive childish version of himself to never lose faith in the Light Side and that no matter how rough things got, choosing the path to power would only bring pain and suffering. But there was no power that could send him back in time, unfortunately Ben was trapped in the reality he had created.

There was nothing he possibly say that would make Luke forgive him. He realized that now.

"Anakin told me what Snoke did, that he sought you out specifically because you were lonely, angry and hurting," Luke's voice sliced through the heavy silence like a knife. "It's my fault that he got to you, I should have been paying closer attention to you, if I had been I would have known you were suffering."

The older Jedi's voice was barely a whisper now. "But I was too ambitious trying to recreate what had been lost to us. I wanted to rebuild the Jedi Order and teach students – but I was spreading myself too thin. You made me realize that the old Jedi ways didn't work for a reason."

Ben was stunned, so stunned that his own voice was unable to leave his throat. He couldn't form a damn sentence to save his life.

"But I promise I won't make the same mistake twice, you and Rey will have my undivided attention and instruction, things will be very different from the last time," Luke's tone had changed, his voice resonated a new found found confidence.

Finally Ben found the strength to speak and he was almost shouting. "Uncle, you can't blame yourself. I allowed myself to get sucked in by Snoke, I am to blame for everything that happened. I was aware of the choices I made, Snoke didn't force me to do anything against my will," he confessed with sorrow. "There's not a day that goes by that I don't regret what I did, but I can't change that now. I just have to bare it the best I can and try and learn from my mistake."

For the first time Luke turned to look at him, a soft smile had form on his lips. "We are both to blame, we both made mistakes. Let us leave it at that. No more dwelling on the past, we have a clean start tomorrow." A hand was clasped on Ben's shoulder in an honest and supportive gesture.

Another hefty stillness settled between them as Luke's hand slipped away, but this time it wasn't as oppressive as before. It almost seemed like a weight has been lifted off both their shoulders. Luke sat down with a bowl in his hand and started to eat some ugly looking stew. It has been a bowl he'd been warming over the fire for the whole time they had been talking. Ben sat and watched awkwardly waiting for his uncle to make the next move.

"Why don't you get some rest Ben, you will need it for tomorrow's assessment. I expect great things out of you," Luke said in a light-hearted way.

Ben nodded his agreement and quickly got to his feet to go back to the hut and join Rey for a good night sleep.

"And Ben," Luke said, in which the young Jedi spun around to face his uncle head on. "May the Force be with you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I'm sorry for leaving this story somewhat abandoned, I switched colleges and things got crazy, but I want to finish this story before the new Star Wars movie is out, so I can do another Reylo story, but it will be hella shorter than this one, and I'm hoping to improve my writing style and characterization. Anyways, please leave some feedback and let me know if you are still interested in this story! Thank for reading and much love to all of you. :)


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